I really need to share this with you guys. Two weeks ago I was at 30 days and was experiencing a real high in terms of the rewards I was receiving for my No Fap. I went out on one fine evening to an event in my town and was remarkably comfortable, relaxed and confident. It was like nothing I had experienced. So there I was sitting at this event and I saw this beautiful, impressive woman standing at the bar getting a drink. I recognized her from a poster and when I went to get my drink I just casually started talking to her. She took a real interest in me as I spoke and started to ask lots of questions….nice questions. ‘Ah, It turns out that we were next door neighbors’ she remarked cheekily. I was pretty blown away by her subtle flirtation on this first meeting. Later on I spoke to her again and she ended up inviting me for a drink with herself and her friends. That drink was interesting – by the end of the evening herself and her friend had purposefully moved to sit next to me and were just showering me with attention and compliments…it was the strangest experience. They started telling me that it was so obvious that I was in touch with my essence and inner power ?? This was a shocker.
The next meeting blew me away. She told me that she had been single for two years, that she had be focusing on herself entirely, had been with nobody during this time. She informed me that I was seriously courageous and bold to have approached her and she felt so ‘immediately comfortable and relaxed’ the moment I engaged with her. Little did she know that a month previous I would have been a quivering, anxiety ridden mess. That evening she abandoned herself to me.
The long and short of it is that we are now together and getting on like a house on fire. The second night we hung out and fell into each others eyes deeply and have had some mind blowing experiences since. Our second sexual experience was virtually tantric and I had a no ejaculation, full body orgasm :O I have read that other fapstaunauts in hard mode have experienced similar things and these gifts are just the tip of the iceberg I believe.
I would NEVER have been able to approach a woman of this caliber before, and it is a testimony to the power of nofap that I am with such an incredible person and riding this wave. Lastly, and this is beautiful, she knows I am going without masturbation or orgasm for a period of time and has told me she is so deeply satisfied with our connection that she doesn’t mind we haven’t had sex and has so much respect for me doing this. So hard mode continues and a great deal of pleasure during our lovemaking is in making her orgasm. This is such a turn on – all my sexual energy going into pleasuring her…the response from her has been, well, as you can imagine – highly positive 😉
TLDR: nofap has brought an incredible woman into my life and she has responded very positively when I told her of by current abstinence and feels ‘deeply satisfied’ anyway by the sheer connection (a connection that would just not have happened without nofap.)
Ok, here I go, I have not been on here for some time and I have just been living my new life. I need to say this to any struggling or doubtful fapstarunaut on here: this process is so worth it. My life has completely transformed due to getting myself off the junk of porn and masturbation. It has been a long and hard battle and has taken years to flush out the addiction. This is my most fascinating discovery and I hope it helps:
The level of My Fap and PMO addiction is directly correlated withhow co-dependant I am, how much I give my power away and don’t live my truth.
The more I break away from my co-dependant bullshit with my mum and set clear boundaries with her, find independence and stop getting angry at myself, life, other people and my limitations (being self-responsible and self-directed, bot a victim), my addiction impulse is diminishing on much deeper levels and my urges are dropping. This whole NoFap/ NoPMO process is not just about abstinence, it is about energy. The less you fap the more energy you have for your passions, interests, your loved ones and REAL women if you are still on the hunt or just open to a relationship or even just exploring. Feeding all these important and positive areas brings a strength of character and personality that in turn powers the No Fap effort an dthe two work together. With each push, each relapse, each triumph and defeat, you are getting stronger and stronger.
The effect this whole process has on the opposite sex is phenomenal. The attention is DANGEROUS if you are in a long term relationship. As soon as you become in contact with another woman you can just feel the pull, the attraction the chemistry. Normal women become interesting, REAL women become attractive and radiant, even middle aged ones sometimes. It is such a phenomenal process and I love the pay off – it is so worth it. It is worth it to be able to function, to achieve, to have you wife all over you and to be craziliy in love with you because you are so calm, masculine, confident and in turn not edgy, winy, negative or narrow minded. . I am so much more balanced in my feminine and masculine now and I have so much drive. I am getting up at 5.30 most days, play guitar (which I took up in the last year) and then do 30min to 60min of ashtanga yoga. I read more, plan trips away, have almost completed a personal coaching diploma and am relaxed in my skin more and more. I am getting shit done with no foggy head. I am having visions for the future. I LIKE myself. The list goes on.
Some days are hard but when I feel an urge I just think to myself: THIS ONE ACT OF IMPULSE WILL FEEL GOOD YES, BUT IT WILL VERY SOON FEEL CRAPPY AND DULL AND I WILL REGRET CAVING IN. This one statement does so much form me: looking into the future and knowing that, if your like me and have smoked, the first is a burst but the next one (and the chasers) are no where near as good. I now just don’t bother with the burst (no pun intedned!) I just say no.
It is hard sometimes to feel that aching desire to PMO and give it a go, but I have learnt that so much of that has to do with myself getting causal and tired. I think ‘I’m sorted now, I am not and addict now, I can just have a go..’ every time I have gone with this I have ended up sliding back into compulsive regular fap. Fap is out of my life for ever and it feels so good for making this decision.
I just have to shout it out and say how incredible this process is in its fruits. Life begins to open up and I find a newness arriving with each day. I used to be behind my computer for a few hours each day PMO’ing away, numbing myself, my pain of misdirection and grogginess and co-dependance. Now I am strong, happier and have met the woman of my dreams, am married and have a baby on the way who I cannot wait to meet. And I know I can now be a great dad. This is is one of the most life changing things you will ever do and you will look back and wonder how you did it: it is phenomenally hard and it is so incredibly testing, but i t is worth it. You will grow mentally, physically, soulfully, energetically and spiritually. You will begin to see so much around you and you will be an inspiration to those you love and beyond.
I wish everyone on here the best of power (not just luck) with this process. Although I have never met anyone on here in person I know that in spirit we are all somewhat kindred – I cannot imagine how many phenomenal human beings are on this forum.
Massive love to you all and thanks for reading
SHORT: My experience has transformed my life. I am happier, stronger, more virile and have whole different view on myself an dwhat I can achieve. My wife cannot get her hands off me and I am calmer and far more self assured. I am less attached to what people think and I have more confidence and drive. I wish the best to all on here. Keep going with every cell in your body.