Tomorrow, I will be completing 90 Days since I last watched porn or masturbated. I found out about noFap in September last year, it made a lot of sense and I decided to abstain. I will break this post into two parts. One, I will talk about the benefits or so-called Superpowers attained by abstaining for 90 days and two, I will talk about what helped me abstain for so long, after having PMO’ed almost every day for the past 14 years.
After I hit about 30 days, the urge to masturbate or watch porn started reducing. Today, I often feel the sexual urge for release, just like the past 14 years. But I simply don’t find masturbating or watching porn interesting anymore. I just don’t want to channel my energy that way. That, people, is the single most important superpower (if you want to call it that) I have achieved.
Frankly, besides that, I haven’t seen much difference in myself.
1) Don’t treat every relapse as reset to zero. Fuck the countdown to 90 days. The only reason I am writing this article at 90 days is because this article won’t have much credibility if I wrote it at any less day count. I relapsed quite a few times from September until February. And I hated myself everytime. Then, I read the following article about how detrimental the “reset to zero” mentality can be.
From then on, I started maintaining a spreadsheet to track the days I relapse on. I did this in December and recorded all relapses going back to September (I have a good memory). Looking at the spreadsheet for September to December, I realized that the frequency of my relapse was slowly going down from once every 2-3 days to once to every week to once every 10 days.
This was really encouraging and made me feel that I was making progress. Believe me, the feeling that you are making progress is extremely helpful and one of your main tools in getting rid of this addiction.
2) Have a single, focussed reason for why you are doing noFap. Mine was that – I am a man, my sexual desire is primal and some day, I will have a woman in my life with whom I will have sex, with whom I will share my emotions and it will be someone I am mutually attracted to. I am not interested in channeling my desire and energy into a tissue which gives me fleeting pleasure and saps my energy.
3) During the initial days of noFap (first ~30 days), keep yourself extremely busy and stay away from being alone at home (I assume most people PMO at home and not anywhere else!). If you are alone, make sure you are busy with something.
Here are some other articles that I bookmarked and helped me along the way: