Started Nofap a year ago last September. I’ve had varying streaks from my first 116 days to one month and less. Nofap has been a great tool to push forward in life and feel better in general. I’m a lot stronger,more confident, determined and happier than I was a year ago.
My streak before this one was 56 days I thought I would be ready for actual sex it turned out to failed sex experience because of ED and later that day I ‘tested’ it with porn. It was a sore mistake and I now know I should have been more patient and at least not used porn. I didn’t even want porn any more. I’ve been only really wanting real women for some time now. And my dick didn’t want it either. I was able to come but it was painstaking and I didn’t even get a good erection despite going to all my old favourites.
A week after that experience I read some yourbrainonporn.com about ED and realized monk mode was the only way to go. I stopped watching any pictures or videos that had exciting females in them online, I quit staring girls IRL and stopped fantasizing all together. Started reading about how to increase testosterone naturally and applying those methods. Although it probably wasn’t mandatory part about my recovery, I figured going that extra mile wouldn’t hurt. Soon enough, to my great joy my morning wood started to return and I started feeling better and better by the day. I was really scared for some time I had abused it too much and it wouldn’t come back. My libido went up and I started to see real life females exciting again. I soon started to have erections pretty much every time I woke up during the night and sexual dreams were frequent. My dick become alive again, the flaccid size increased and I could feel it during the day time as well. Had some spontaneous semi stiffs during day time as well, which was awesome. Also, started to have erotic dreams with increasing frequency, not just about watching porn any more either, but having sex with actual dream females! This has been now going on for 26 days. (removed badge because I don’t need it any more, explanation below)
So, today I was extra horny and even though my original plan was to wait to at least day 50 or so before trying healthy masturbation the horniness was so enormous I just wanted a release. So I figured testing it was without porn wouldn’t be a bad idea. So I did it. And let me tell you, I’ve been masturbating the wrong way my entire life. All it took was plenty of lubricant and loose hand trying to stimulate as vagina like experience as possible, no death grip, just gentle ‘massage’. I tried to cut out all the images from my mind and experience the sensations only. It was an intense trip. I’m not sure how long I lasted, probably around 15 minutes but it was pleasurable from start and increasingly to the explosive finish. To be honest with you, I was a bit afraid during the orgasm. It felt so intense. I thought something might explode. My whole body was convulsing and I hit back of my head to the wall. It was unbelievable. My eyes were closed and I still don’t know where the sperm went. And the best part: I was hard and big the whole time. No signs of ED. After the gasps and recovering from the intense orgasm I felt relaxed, content and happy. No shame or fogginess.
It turns out I’ve been being porn addict, not masturbation addict my entire life. Even when I did it without porn in the very beginning, when I was still able to, I had to always rely on fantasies and later that become impossible and only increasing amounts of more extreme porn and weird death grip could do it for me. This year has been amazing adventure with trying not to fap and always relapsing to porn, feeling terrible and starting again. If only I had known there can be healthy way of masturbation. I’m not going to over do this. I know that the first enemy is compulsivity. Second is extreme stimulation a.k.a porn and deathgrip. My next adventure is going to be trying to find a way to keep my masturbation healthy and hopefully find someone to have sex with. But I’d hate to have another failed ED experience and I feel like having a healthy masturbation habit will help me with that. I want to confident that I’m not a limp dick any more. I’m going to try to limit this to once every two weeks for now and I already ordered Fleshlight to make the experience even more real feeling for my dick. I’ll do what it takes to never have ED again so I will be porn free for the rest of my life but I feel like Nofap can only be optimal at curing PIED when it comes to beginning of the recovery. I’ve nothing against guys going for 300 day hardmode if it works for them but it just isn’t for me. I think there is mid-way to everything and since I’m not in a relationship I think the best way is to masturbate healthily and keep enough rest period to let the body recover. We’ll see how it goes. Thanks for everything nofap. My goal is no longer to be fapless as long as possible. It’s to reach healthy sexuality with myself.
- Absolutely no porn.
- No ogling sexy girls on youtube videos.
- No erotic literature.
- No oggling arousing pictures online (even if she has clothes on).
- No leering girls in public (I don’t mean you have to close your eyes every time you see a female, don’t stare at her butt, don’t ogle at her cleavage or any part with horny intentions).
- No fantasizing. (this is hard one but always when you notice yourself doing it, stop.)
- No anything arousing. No anything that abuses your poor dopamine receptors more.
This is critical, essential and paramount to successfully rewire dopamine receptors!!!
The difference is HUGE! I was wondering why my morning erections didn’t return after my last relapse. After cutting out all the unnessary crap like watching Nicki Minaj music videos and leering at girls in public I mojo is back and rocking. I feel libido and alive again!! I will never go back to porn. I’ve learned my lesson.