Ninety days ago I shared with the community my story of failure after twenty years of masturbation. You can read it in this link. I can summarize my story as follows:
– Discovered masturbation since primary school
– First exposure to pornography at the age of 8
– Daily pornography consumer since 14yo
– Realized I was an addict at twenty. Since then fighting against PMO, so it was seven years of failure until last February.
***BTW, ‘typical’ pornography was beginning to be not enough for me, every day it was more difficult to find ‘the perfect video’. I was affraid of falling in more grotesque ways of porn.
But then, in January I discovered this site, I read some testimonies and decided to get in the challenge.
HAS IT BEEN DIFFICULT?
— Yes and no. It is difficult some days, while other days are very, very easy. I’ve discovered that some people, me included, have CYCLES OF TIME. In my case I detected that sexual (PMO) impulse (some call them ‘urges’) are stronger at weekends, friday night or Saturday night. But after 40-50 days of reboot those impulses began to be weaker and less frequent. Even last friday night I had the stronger ‘urge’ of my entire reboot, it was a difficult night where I allowed myself immoral thoughts which then caused me big troubles.
WHAT CHANGED IN MY GENERAL HABITS?
— Many things. After seven years trying to leave PMO unsuccesfully I realized that if I wanted real changes, they couldn’t come casually or doing nothing. So I had to change those obvious things or situations that led me to PMO. For example:
– Not sleeping with electronic devices in the room (Smartphone, tablet or computer). Keeping them away when ‘urges’ come resulted in more time to think what I really want. “Do not give up what you want more for what you want now”.
– Telling my fellas at home about my struggles and asking for verbal blessings. Sin retains its power while remaining in the darkness, so expose it to the light to your closer fellas (I suggest parents, brother or wife in the case).
WHAT WERE SOME DAILY STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING MY MIND?
– The five seconds rule. When struggles or ‘urges’ come stop five seconds and think well: Is it worth it?
– Meditate while sun sets. This is my new hobbie, one of my favourite part or the day. It’s amazing to dicover that there are such great pleasures every day at sunrise and sunset and I was missing it. It is a perfect moment to think and find value in the simplest details of life.
DO I HAVE SUPERPOWERS NOW?
— Greater attraction with girls? Super strength? New abilities? haha not really. The reality is that I have more time to study, develop new skills, more time to work out, I’m saving a lot of energy that I’m not wasting in M. Basically the ‘superpowers’ lay in better exploitation of time, energy.
I could consider a new ‘superpower’ in me, a new way to communicate with my closer fellas being honest and humble while I recognize my frailties.
WHAT’S NEXT NOW?
— I’m planning new strategies and goals for the next 90 days, I want to go into a deeper level: controlling thoughts and find a way to be morally successful even while dreaming (no more wet dreams). The first phase of reboot is over, but not my new lifestyle, I want this my entire life.
I’d like to thank some fapstronauts who have encouraged me directly and indirectly. DIRECTLY some that use to send private messages, giving support, commenting my threads or even just giving like to my posts; and INDIRECTLY those successful fapstronauts that write great threads, posts and testimonies: