(standard non-native english disclaimer and maybe some rambling)
So i just hit 90 days today 🙂 and this is one thing that i am happy about myself, but I can’t really share it with anyone other than this great community anonymously.
I wish with this milestone I could report back on how fantastic my life is now in contrast to 90 days earlier, but it hasn’t been huge. Which support my thoughts before starting this, that you don’t get magical powers, that you won’t just have a million new friends after not doing the things you did after X days. It feels more like replacing some bad scaffolding in the structure that is me.
It’s not like nothing has changed because it definitely has. I have used masturbation as an escapism, reward, pretty much any occasion would count as reason to masturbate and i have been at it for at least since i was 12. But i slowly began doing it even before “goo” would come out, at an earlier age than 12.
In the end it was so bad that i would spent at least 1-2 hours looking for new porn, acquiring porn and waste about an hour masturbating as well. Not to forget like some need coffee in the morning in the morning to get up, I had to check out r slash gonewild before getting ready for the day. It was awful and has wasted so much time it’s unbelievable.
A friend of mine told me to check out r/getmotivated which led me to find this place. A place where i was not alone and struggling with some of the same problems. I must admit I had heard about nofap november a long time ago, but thought it was crazy and something I would never be able to do. But here i am now and have not only completed nofap november ’13 but held on even longer and did the 90 days challenge.
Things has changed with nofapping.
I have gotten my feelings and emotions back which are nice and a bit scary, happiness feels even better and loneliness feel lonelier. Not dulled out constant in a not caring stage like a zombie and yesterday i cried a little bit at end of Captain Phillips.
My social anxiety has been reduced a little bit and it has been a little easier gathering courage doing stuff like talking to females, meet new people, initiate small talk, etc.
Fapping and porn has definitely been holding me back in caring and improving myself and my life. This has been a great step in improving myself and my life although it recognise i have a very long road to follow before I will be where I want to be.
I want to go to the moon and for this i need a rocket, so my next major goal with nofap would be to go for a full year.
tl;dr I haven’t magically obtained a better life, but major obstacles for obtaining this has been removed and thus i will do my best to keep the streak going.
I wish you all the best in your struggles and hope you will get here and longer as well.
edit: spelled out NSFW hidden text, since for some it made direct links?
LINK – 90 days, boom shakalaka