First, I’d like to thank this community for opening my eyes to the damaging effects of PMO and providing the motivation and support to quit. Many of these last 90 days have been rough and I couldn’t have done this alone. Thank you all!
I’m a 27 year old male who decided to quit PMO for at least 90 after watching the “The Great Porn Experiment” and reading through posts on r/nofap. Specifically, I was concerned that for the previous year PMO had really numbed me towards dating and social interaction in general. It has been a pretty busy and stressful year and I was using PMO and alcohol to cope with it all. As a result, I hadn’t been on a single date in a year and wasn’t spending much time out with friends and meeting new people.
It was quite easy to deal with the physical urges. When I felt a strong urge, I’d just remove myself from the computer and do some menial chore (e.g. clean the kitchen). After 90 days I still get the occasional urge, although it is no big deal. In contrast, the physiological/emotional part has been quite rough. I’ve realized that for the last year PMO has helped me to cope with stress, loneliness, low esteem, and depression. Over the 90 days I’ve had to confront these issues head on and this has sucked. I’ve spent a lot of time working through this stuff and I’m making progress, but still have a ways to go. I’ve found the book”Feeling Good” by Burns very helpful and would recommend it to anyone else going through the same.
In terms of benefits I now have a lot more energy, I’ve become friendlier and more outgoing, and I have a more positive attitude. For the most part my concentration has improved. I do commonly find my mind drifting back to the issues in my life and I wish I could spend less time on them. I’m hoping that as I work on these issues they will consume less of my thoughts.
I’ve been spending a lot more time out with friends and meeting new people. While I’ve done some flirting and am feeling much more confident with women, I haven’t pursued any dates. There certainly is the physical urge for sex (and I think this has really helped with flirting), but it’s not a huge deal. More importantly, I don’t have the same urgency to get a girlfriend/date that I did when I was younger. On reflection, that past urgency stemmed from the same personal issues I’d been coping with using PMO for the previous year. As I’m now addressing these issues, the urgency is gone. While I’d love to have great relationship with the right girl, I’m no longer desperate for any relationship. To me, this has been the greatest benefit of the whole 90 days.
For the time being I plan to continue with nofap. I had previously considered reintroducing PMO into my life after these 90 days. Now I feel I should continue on. I’m also debating whether to pursue some casual sex. I’ve only had a little success with such casual sex in the past, but I’m pretty certain I could find someone if I put in the effort. I’m just not sure if that is any better than PMO and whether I want to commit the time and effort into finding some tail.
Again, thank you all for your motivation and support and for reading my report. I’d appreciate any feedback you may have.