Hey guys, this is taken from my journal, which can be seen here:
I’m pretty happy about it, and I think it qualifies for ‘mini success story’! All about spreading the optimism and small successes.
Potentially triggering if ridiculous descriptions and metaphors for erections trigger you.
I was reading about PE and kegels (more on that later), and I was looking into sympathetic, parasympathetic, mental and psychical stimulation etc. and after I finished reading, I decided to try to, instead of in the past where it would only happen with physical touch, see if I could get an erection with just relaxation and focusing energy in that area.
I didn’t fantasise or even kegel (voluntary or otherwise). If anything, there was a light reverse kegel waiting in response to an involuntary kegel. The main focus was relaxation and breathing.
Within about thirty seconds, I was greeted with a 100% erection. It was like I’d just munched about 75 pills. It was like a metallic bastion of freedom and optimism, a Viking’s sword raised for battle. My first without physical stimulation since I can remember, and my first 100% without pills since I can remember.
What happened next?
A relapse of course…
…. Did not happen! Come on guys! I’m in this for the long haul. I greeted him, welcomed him back into my life and took it as a premonition of the future.
I’ll be conducting no more ‘experiments’. They’re just not necessary now I know there’s no physical ED or anything.
LINK – First no-physical-touch 100% erection in recent memory!
BY – slickshoes
Hey guys! It’s good to be here. I’ve already posted my story on the new members part but I’ll paste it here too:
27 y/o male. Used porn since I was… I have a terrible memory. Early teens?
Loss of ability to get erection without physical contact, keep erection for 5 seconds without physical contact, and then add on PE to that
Porn got weirder and weirder. Sex avoided when possible.
Somehow, with all this, I’ve been with girls from (probably literally) half the countries in the world (I travel)- I have zero idea as to how I’ve accomplished this. hah.
But as for now- I have four months until I leave for a trip around 40 countries (motorcycle) – so I’d like to be a lot closer to how I want to be by then. I’m hoping that the PE is related.
As you can tell, this is all in random, stream of consciousness order.
I believe I have slightly higher oestrogen than most, or lower testosterone (so intertwined, it’s almost impossible without periodic blood tests to find out – but it’s largely irrelevant). But a big problem has been psychologically – the first time I was with a girl, I couldn’t get an erection- I think we tried on like 3 separate occasions (I was 15?) – But then with the next girlfriend, it was always absolutely fine for maybe two years. (well, my level of ‘fine’ – not like the steel rod it ‘should’ be at that age?)
I’m feeling pretty good about the reboot so far- it’s been 8 or 9 days (My diary’s all the way over there) and I can feel the hum and vibration of addiction. I’ve been here before. Not with PMO, but the feeling is the same. The pull! I’m eagerly anticipating the jonesing (Flatline, right?) because I know that that’s the river to cross to get to the promised land, and I’ve got my boots on. (I love a good metaphor).
I’ve been through super bad anxiety before (i.e. seconds away from panic attack from waking up until falling asleep- couldn’t go in cars, trains, etc.) and taught myself how to overcome it, so I know I can struggle through. I quit smoking cold turkey, went raw vegan cold turkey (mmm vegan cold turkey) (That was a few years ago – pescetarian now), taken a lot of cocaine, ecstasy, heroin and others and never had a problem with overcoming them. (Again, I’m talking in.. 2009?)
I’ve also lived in India and learned a lot about coping and self learning.
My situation, as I said before is that I’m four months away from this trip. Until then, I’m alone a lot. I’m building another business and work from home, so I haven’t got time to do much anyway! (It doesn’t sound like a good thing- it is right now) – So I’m not interested in girls until I leave – when chasing the dopamine, I would surf through Tinder but it would inevitably end up in conversation ending because I’m just too busy, so it seems the perfect time.
My mind’s made up now – I don’t want porn. I’ll say it.. ever again.
Doing what I believe to be hard mode? No P, no M, no O. Four months.
Also transitioning to a testosterone boosting diet. Does that make it extra difficult mode? hah
Thank you for having me here. If you’ve read this far, I swear I’m not insane. I just write in a stream of consciousness. Best way to cover everything.
I appreciate every last one of you!