Yesterday I realized I’m over 200 days in my NoFap course. It’s amazing how things look like when you get rid of the brain fog. I feel like a young child. I have feelings again. I can be with women just for the pleasure of their company, and not looking at them in a sexual way.
I can draw pleasure from life itself, real life, even from such little things as breathing.
Fapping was my way to deal with anxieties. It was my way of escape, my way of dealing with problems. Now, instead, I get things solved. And as they get solved, I get happier, more confident, much more complete. My social awkwardness is disappearing, because as days go by I’m better.
I’m doing many things I didn’t feel like doing before. Skating, reading and studying things I’m interested in, I just started painting… Life is much more rewarding.
Fapstronauts, femstronauts, my brothers and sisters… Keep going. Don’t give up. It’s a long run, with long-term long-lasting benefits, just the contrary to fapping.
It IS worth it.
EDIT: Grammar-nazi-ing myself
ANOTHER POST THAT EXPLAINS MORE
I was addicted to porn. No idea of ED, because virginity, but only hard-hard-hardcore porn made me hard. Fapped once a day, or every other day.
Started NoFap, failed seven thousand million times. Every mistake became a lesson. Some required many mistakes to be understood. I used to have a good run of 2-3 weeks, then relapse a lot, then again… Until i got a 45 days run, relapse, then this one started.
The first days are awful. Then on, every so often, I would get urges. They come, and they go. I got used to it, but I have to live with the fact that, if I ever think it’s over, I’ll be doomed to fail. It’s better to live being alert.
The recovery is much more evident as time passes by. If I look back to day one I was a pitiful mock of a human, curled in my dark corner of self-pity. Today I feel like a man, standing, proud of what I have done and full of plans. No girl yet, but I’m OK with that. I have more girls around now than ever… And they seem to feel comfortable with me.
That’s not important, though. Is just a small piece of all the benefits I got that can be summed up in two words: Inner peace.
Oh, and morning wood is back. And I get hard when a girl stands close enough to smell her scent or if there is even a small phisical, flirty contact, something I didn’t even care about before.
Ask me anything if you want to know something more specific! I’m an elder here, ready to help!
90 days ago I was at the lowest point of my life. I was a sad little guy, with nothing to say or share. I was ashamed of myself. I thought I could never love. I thought whoever loved me would have to face the consequences of my addiction, and thus I chose to avoid women. I thought life was pointless.
60 days ago I thought things were better, but was still nervous. I could feel the shadow of my addiction whispering sweet promises. Many things around me reminded me of pornography. I could see my life was taking a new direction, but there was a long way to go.
30 days ago I felt renewed. I had to keep my guard up, because the whispers were still there, although less frequent. My life was taking a different direction. I started learning to play the piano. I started working up. I started taking skating classes. I started studying and meditating. Learning to cook. Sleeping better. I started to have something of my own to share. I started to feel alive.
Today I woke up. I updated my tracker app, and it showed a beautiful 90. Today, I can say life is worth living. People are great. I can enjoy the smallest things. I can laugh sincerely again. I know I am still addicted. I know I may relapse anytime. But this fight can be won.
And life is worth living.
Thank you fapstronauts, for your support and company. I may disappear for some time, but I will still come to check how you are doing.
I’m going for the 180 days.
LINK – Ninety Times One