I signed up to the No Fap thread this morning after skirting around the website for the last few weeks. I was driven here this morning because last night, after 98 days of no pornography and no masturbation, I finally finished last night, inside my partner.
I wanted to give hope to new members, and those who are struggling. Guys, it can happen.
I’ve had delayed ejaculation for as many years as I’ve been having sex.
The very first time I had sex with a girl, at the age of 17, I didn’t ejaculate. I chalked that one off to nerves. It was my first time. I was young and naive. Surely, men didn’t come every time, did they? This was fine.
However, it kept on happening. Or not happening as the case may be.
I got older, had a few more partners, and it continued to not happen. The pattern was always the same. The first time I’d have sex with a new partner, I’d be so thrilled that I was having sex with a good looking girl, that not finishing wouldn’t bother me. It was something that I could cope with. However, when I was in longer term relationships, it began to wear me down.
The first time I ever came with a girl present was when I slept with a girl while I was traveling. We had sex, and she turned to me and said, “Are you ever going to come?” We’d been having sex for around 45 minutes at this point. I told her about my little issue. The next time we had sex, she masturbated in front of me and I finished myself off. I felt an enormous sense of achievement, but alas, we never ever saw each other again as we went our separate ways.
It never happened again.
I had a few more sexual partners, but not for long enough to really tackle the problem.
Six years ago, I met my current partner, the woman I know I will spend the rest of my life with. We began having sex regularly, and she didn’t have to be Hercule Poirot to notice the absence of any kind of orgasm on my part.
Over the six years we’ve been together, we’ve spoken about it at length. We would go through phases where it wouldn’t bother us at all, and she could have two or three orgasms a night because of how long I could last without finishing. We’d also go through phases whereby it would bother us; she’d feel unloved and unattractive, I’d feel like half a man, all the time trying to convince her that, “it’s not you, it’s me.”
The thing is, I never really seriously considered my masturbation habits to be linked. I didn’t think I masturbated excessively. I only ever did it once every couple of days. I however noticed a link when I started having a very set masturbation ritual – in terms of speed, position I had to sit in, and grip etc. No human being could have sex at the speed I was masturbating.
Anyway, once the link was made, I made several half-arsed attempts to give up masturbation, normally lasting a week or so. Six weeks was actually my record at that point, but I only gave that up for lent, so I knew there was an end point. That was also before I had made any connection between my habit/addiction and my sex-life.
On Feb 8th of this year she was on a plane back from a week at home. I’d had the flat to myself and she was due back in the morning. I’d spent the whole week living a bachelor life, drinking, eating pizza and of course, masturbating regularly. On Feb 8th though, I said to myself, this is my last one.
And so it was.
Fast forward a very trying 98 days later, and last night, for the first time EVER, i ejaculated inside my partner.
I am absolutely thrilled.
I know this isn’t the end of the story. I’m not magically fixed now, and I’m almost expecting that the next time I have sex with her, I probably won’t finish.
However, I feel a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulder. The pressure has dissipated and hopefully I won’t have to wait another 98 days for my next orgasm. Hell, even if it takes 97 days, it’s still a sign of recovery.
Guys, it’s tough! The reset is hard. You will see sex everywhere. You will have powerful dreams and fantasies. You will stare luridly at women on the bus. When the weather is nice, and the skirts get shorter you’ll notice. You’ll find yourself thinking about sex all the time.
Just know, that every day you get closer to healing yourself. Every challenge is absolutely worthwhile because when you get there, you will forget all the bad days.
Today genuinely feels like the first day of the rest of my life. The misery of the last 10 years or so, without finishing, feeling like half a man, worrying if I’ll ever beat it, if I’ll ever be a father etc. is all gone. Now, I’m ready to continue grabbing life with renewed vigour.
Seriously guys, stay strong!!
By – senornofap
Following on from my success as detailed in my last thread, I’ve had some more success. I’ve managed to ejaculate through my partner using her hands and once more through intercourse.
I continue to be delighted with my progress so far.
The fringe benefits to which I refer are also noteworthy and I hope that those who are new to this journey, or even those draw some inspiration from this.
I’ve been with my partner for 6 years. I’ve always found her very attractive and consider myself truly blessed and lucky to call her mine. Since giving up PMO and starting this adventure, I find that I’m more in love with her than ever.
I am still not masturbating, and I think about sex all the time. Where my mindset has changed though is that now my fantasies and desires focus entirely on her. Previously, I was seeing sex everywhere!! Every pair of breasts that came into view was worthy of inspection, every backside under scrutiny and as the weather gets hotter and clothes become more revealing it was becoming more difficult than ever to keep my thoughts clean.
On Saturday, i was in one of those moods. After a Friday in which i actually hadn’t noticed anything or anyone, i got up for work on Saturday morning uncontrollably frisky. I did not however seek to spy on passersby, instead I spent the Saturday at work day dreaming about getting my hands on my partner. I texted her my feelings, tested the water so to speak, and was thrilled to find her just as keen as I was.
I got home that evening and we had fantastic sex during which I successfully ejaculated through regular penetration. It was amazing and almost effortless. I was completely satisfied and went back to a feeling of normality.
Until I started this journey, my urges would have been satisfied through PMO and would be taken care of quickly and mindlessly to nameless naked women on various websites. This time, my mind and my body sought a genuine connection and real intimacy from my partner and this urge was met and satisfied.
Sounds simple, but it was a great feeling. It filled me up where PMO left me empty. NoFap is more than just physical. It really can bring you closer to your loved ones in ways you had probably given up on.
Keep going chaps!!