First, I must start this off by saying how much of an amazing community this is. There were numerous times throughout my 90-day journey in which the temptation of PMO felt so strong. Every time I had the NoFap community to turn to, whether it was posting/commenting myself or more frequently, reading others success stories as well as others regret stories from fapping and ending their streaks.
As I approached 90th day, I knew I wanted to write a post, not to celebrate my own success, but to give back to this community. If at least one person reads this post and decides not to fap today as a result of it, I’ll feel I have succeeded with this post.
I discovered the NoFap subreddit in an article about the increasing incidents of ED experienced by young men. I, in my late-20’s, was fed up after being plagued by ED related issues for the past 5-6 years. I did not experience these problems every time I had sex, but like so many others here, going into sex I didn’t know if I would be able to get and maintain an erection and worse, this caused severe anxiety about sex, which most likely only caused the ED issues to become even worse. My first breaking point involved me visiting a urologist and explaining my story. He ran some tests and everything turned up fine, however he prescribed me Cialis anyways, saying it was a mental issue. I used Cialis and the first time I had a huge erection and I thought I was cured! Then, as I had more sexual experiences, even using Cialis, I reverted back to my ED issues of the past. It was then that I came to the conclusions that I didn’t have a physical problem, but it was 100% mental. And that’s when I began Googling articles about ED and stumbled upon the NoFap community.
I reached a second breaking point and started the NoFap challenge (this is my second attempt, during my first try I got to 20-something days then relapsed for a few months) in the desperate hopes that this could somehow resolve my ED issues. I refused to continue living a life filled with anxiety and stress anytime I got close to a woman. Even worse, the PMO caused me to objectify women and define nights out as a success or failure purely based on if I found a girl I could potentially hook up with. Why couldn’t I be fully satisfied if I had a fun time out with my friends? Meanwhile, I hoped and nearly prayed that if I did successfully complete the 90-day challenge, there would be an amazing reward at the end of it all…my ED would go away. How could that not be enough motivation for me? And if it does go away after 90-days, how could I ever conceivably want to masturbate again? Why would I ever want to go back to a life filled with ED issues and severe anxiety?
During my 90-days, I had sex twice with Girl A, oral sex twice with Girl B and last night oral sex with Girl C. Did I take Cialis before any of these sexual activities? NO. Did I fret moments before that I may not be able to perform? NO. Instead, I felt a strong sexual drive that I had been lacking for the past 8 years. If there was any concern at all, it was that I would cum way too fast, but the idea of not being able to get an erection literally didn’t cross my mind during any of these occasions. I haven’t had that feeling since I was 19. Can you say my ED is resolved? I’m not sure. I’m working with a small sample size at the moment, but so far so good.
I may have started the 90-day challenge to solve my ED issues, but so much more good has come of it. For one, Girl C I am now dating and I have a very strong connection with. That’s the thing about this, I used to kiss girls and it almost always felt empty, that sexual drive, that connection was always never as strong as I had hoped. With Girl B and C, foreplay was so passionate, there was such a strong connection, I felt alive again. That connection is tangible too in the moment, you know she can feel that super connection as well. Meanwhile, I feel stronger connections with girls at work and friends in my social life. I no longer objectify them, I look them in the eye, I treat them with respect. Also, I seem to walk with more confidence and I feel as if that’s tangible. Why do I do this? Probably because I feel like I discovered a huge secret of life…and I have, the benefits of NoFap.
I would like to say I will never fap again in my life because why would I want to turn away from these significant improvements in my life, but I know PMO was an addiction for me and addictions are a battle everyday. As soon as you let your guard down, you are vulnerable not only to a single fap session, but a downward spiral back into a horrific and lonely place.
Another point, like so many others, I feel as if I have so much more time on my hands now that I’ve removed PMO from my life. I will focus the next 90-days of my life on increasingly filling this void with productive things that enhance my life, such as reading, or being more social in the evenings.
Ultimately, will completing the 90-day NoFap challenge solve all of your problems in life? No, but I truly believe this is the first step to a better and happier life and without completing this step, you will always have a huge brick wall up as an obstacle between yourself and your ultimate goals in life.
by Lrearden 90 days