Guys hi…..This is my first blog to this site and hopefully first after I recovered. Today I completed my 8 weeks with one relapse to masturbation.
My brief history:
I am healthy 28-year old male. I always had high sex drive. I was never involved in too much porn/ For me it was always a glimpse or occasional viewing. I use to masturbate almost daily until about 1.5 years ago. But life suddenly changed after August 2010 when I bought a broadband connection. I then watched extreme porn scenes and masturbated. Within 6 months I got hooked.
- Libido-Almost zero, not turned on by real woman by any means. No urge to use porn or masturbate.
- Tiredness-I almost could not stand more than 15 minutes (looks exaggerated, but true).
- Brain fog- I always had brain fog and difficulty in concentrating.
- Social anxiety-Totally isolated.
- Low motivation- No desire to do anything.
I was totally screwed up, and couldn’t figure out a reason for it. Not too long ago, I visited a physician and she advised me about low Vitamin B count. I completed a 5-injection course of vitamin “B” but it didn’t help. I was totally lost as previously I was always a very enthusiastic person with loads of energy in life, but I now felt like my energy got totally “sucked” and that I was a person without “soul” – a dead mass. It was really a “life dysfunction” for me, suicidal thoughts were frequent, because I knew no reason for my devastated situation.
One day on surfing net I ended up at the YBOP site and I started connecting the dots…Yes it was PORN that killed me like anything. I compared life before broadband net connection and after it. The change happened in a period of less than 1 year but..It ruined my life.
I started without PMO and slowly started recovering. Today I completed 8 weeks and noticed following differences:
- Social Anxiety- Vanished, more confident now.
- Fatigue & Brain fog-Vanished..I can concentrate pretty well.
- Relationships-I am flirting a lot – hope get hooked to the real thing soon.
- Libido-Well I think I am in flatline now, but it’s stable after lots of ups and downs
I always wondered if quitting would help me. After all, I viewed porn for just 1 year (compared to others who had years). Before that I had an active sex life…But now I know. It’s not the period which matters. What’s important is how you looked at “porn.”
Guys, finally, I just wanted to say one sentence “Sexual energy is your soul…Your life…It’s what you are. Never waste it for any reason. It can push you down into a mess if you play wrongly. But it also has the strength to escalate you to your dreams.” works!!!