Hey, just a quick obligatory post with my thoughts on reaching 90 days. I am a 28yo male, and while I can’t say that life is wonderful just yet, I can tell you that I feel positive, pure, clear headed, healthy and ambitious, which is a far cry from the agitated, depressed, unhealthy, failing mess that I was.
Here I am going to quickly list the things that did the most for me to help me out of my rut and on the way to a better life.
- NOFAP – It is possible
Before, I always thought that my habit was destructive, but I didn’t realise the source of my problems was this, and also I just never realised that this was something that you could give up, and finding this community gave me belief. . Just by giving up PMO, I felt like I was fighting back just the smallest bit against the wave of negativity which was my life. In those early dark days, I always felt that if I could just get through the day, and add to my badge, then I would have achieved at least something small. This was a beginning, and the thread which has sustained me throughout.
- Cold showers – do you want it enough?
My willpower was at its lowest level. Everything was PMO or long hot showers or junk food or movies, because I couldn’t bear the pain of actually dealing with life. For the last 60 days or so, I have only had cold showers. This helps a lot with your ability to live with discomfort. Basically, if you can take an ice cold shower, you can do anything and your head is starting to rule your base instincts again. This is a slow gradual process, but it is definitely real. The added plus of better skin/hair is great and also that I never ever feel like I need a cup of coffee anymore, so thats a nice added bonus! Excellent TED talk on this – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb0h8ZKvJW4
- Christopher McCandless: “I read somewhere… how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong… but to feel strong”
I don’t know why this quote resonated with me, but it put me on the road to strengthening my body. At the moment I just have a couple of dumbells and a kettlebell, but 2 out of every 3 days, I do a kettlebell workout, and on the other day an additional upper body workout with dumbells/pushups etc. My body is getting much stronger, and I am toning up. There are no words to say what this does for your self-esteem. If you feel strong, then you can become strong in other areas of your life, and this was really important for me, aside from the added benefit of having a toned body and more energy etc
- Your past self, present self and future self
This point from the now famous advice by Reddit user Ryan01 – http://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_just_dont_care_about_myself/cdah4af?context=3
..was really important for me. Being depressed about the future was always one of the things that held me back from really doing anything in life, it always felt pointless. However, once you start to think of that future version of yourself, and how by doing something now you are giving him a change at life, it becomes much easier. You think to yourself, “I have high hopes for that guy, and the world is going to be hard enough for him, maybe I could do him a favour by studying this, or working out, or being nice to this person’. Once you start to think of doing these tasks for your future self, that you are essentially helping him out to give him a dig out in life, they become much easier. For some reason, it is easier to take the pain if it feels like it is for someone you care about, rather than (ironically) selfish reasons.
Anyway, that is my story, it is nice to just to write it out. I won’t be giving up NOFAP, hopefully ever. I feel like the points i’ve made above have given me almost a roadmap back to achievement, self-esteem, goal fulfillment, everything, one day hopefully love. I know there is a really long way to go for me, but I will always be grateful to NOFAP for stopping the rot, and giving me a chance at life again.