I hit the 90 day mark and I wanted to report on some the benefits I’ve seen in my life:
- I feel better about myself. I haven’t had a marked increase in confidence as I was already a fairly confident guy to begin with, but what I’ve noticed instead is that I just feel really, REALLY good about myself, basically all the time. The shame of constantly hiding my habit is gone. It’s incredibly liberating.
- My relationship with my wife has improved dramatically. We already had a very strong relationship before I started nofap. We spent a lot of time together each day and we had very strong communication. I can honestly say that we never fight, because we refuse to yell and we are always listening to one another, even if we disagree over something. Now I spend even more time with my wife than before and our intimate times together (before a big weak point in our marriage) are much more fulfilling and enjoyable for BOTH of us.
- A feeling of saftey. Before I was always making sure I was clearing my browsing history and if I’d downloading anything (rarely, I mostly just looked stuff up) I would put it in hidden folders so no one could find it. Now that my browser is clean and my HDD’s are clean I have no problems leaving my computer unlocked for anyone to look at.
Overall this has been a very beneficial experience for me and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. Porn is shit and will never return to my life. This is a fact. Fapping is generally a waste of time and the only time I would ever allow myself to do it again is if my wife was gone for a while, and a rule is that when fapping my thoughts are of her: exclusively. Part of my reason for starting nofap was because I wanted to associate sexual pleasure with my wife and only my wife. I think I’ve largely succeeded in that.
It’s been a long and hard road. I had a PMO habit for well over a decade. Now that I’m finally getting free of that it’s very satisfying and liberating.
A word to the wise: never consider yourself cured of PMO addiction. The way I tend to think of myself is as a recovering porn addict. I want to avoid any sort of complacency that could lead to me falling into the trap again. For the rest of my life I will be a recovering porn addict striving to stay clean and live a full life.
Thanks for the support everyone and to anyone struggling to get going: keep at it! If anyone wants specific tips on the methods I found helpful in staying clean feel free to ask. I won’t go into details here in the main post because it’s already a giant wall of text.
TLDR: I’ve been clean for 90 days, I feel amazing, life is 100% more awesome than it was before.
Simply put: my life is so much better. I feel like a man. I am happier. My wife is happier. I feel closer to my wife. I enjoy my time with my wife more (both sexy times and normal times). Life, simply, is more full of LIFE.