The reason I came to NoFap is that, about 35 days ago I was with a girl that I really liked and I had ED issues. While feeling down afterwards I discovered NoFap, YBOP and PIED. This weekend I was with that same girl again after about 35 days of NoFap.
Even though I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I had no ED issues and was able to have sex multiple times. Am I cured? Probably not. But there is no doubt in my mind that NoFap works.
Before I go into my observations I want to say upfront that these two posts were extremely instrumental in framing the way that I think about NoFap and the reboot process. The second post especially helped me realize that I was medicating myself with P. I encourage everyone to read through them.
Now, some observations that I’ve had on my journey so far:
- The urges get easier to handle. The first week was okay for me because I was highly motivated; however, by week 3 I was really struggling. By week 4 the urges were okay again. I think this is a natural progression as your body and mind repair themselves, but the lesson here is that it does get better!
- In recent times I’ve seen many questions where people want to know if they’ve relapsed.
During the last 37 days I’ve:
- Looked at pictures of girls in bikinis. Does that count as a relapse? Maybe.
- Touched myself unnecessarily because it felt good. Does that count as a relapse? Maybe.
- Edged once. Does that count as a relapse? Maybe.
- Looked at softcore P. Does that count as a relapse? Maybe.
There was something important that I did in each of the potential relapses above. I stopped myself. I resisted the urge to go all the way down the rabbit hole and for me that was more important than worrying about whether it was a relapse or not. And anyway, I liked my badge and its a big motivator for me. It hasn’t been a perfect 37 days for me, but the fact that I was able to stop myself and resist the strongest of urges makes me feel like I deserve my badge. The point is, this is your NoFap journey and only you can decide what relapse means to you and what is important to you. The community is great for support, but we need to take responsibility for our own actions, make our own decisions and follow our own paths.
- A lot of people have been talking about dreams. I’ve had some crazy ones since beginning NoFap, though the worst have been about me binging and relapsing. I’ve just come to accept this is part of my healing process. I’m pretty excited though that I have such vivid dreams now. Perhaps this is one of the benefits of having a clearer mind!
- PE was an issue for me this weekend. First time lasted 20 second, second time maybe a minute, third time maybe 2. I told the girl that I had been practicing abstinence for the last month and that I was really sensitive and she was very understanding. It’s too early to say, but I think PE might be an issue for me going forward and is something that I might have to work on. But I’d take PE over PIED any day! And, fortunately for us, we have lots of other tools we can use to give girls pleasure.
- My PIED seems cured. PIED is what brought me to NoFap and this weekend I had no issues even though I though about it every time I was intimate. Before I could maintain an erection but would lose it as soon as I put a condom on. Now, my erections got even stronger when I put the condoms on and my body realized that it was about to have sex, Erections have now become part of my every day experience. A sexual thought. Erection. A kiss. Erection. A light touch. Erection. Before, if I got an erection I would immediately fap. Now, I’m just enjoying getting turned on and, most importantly, controlling my urges.
- I’ve noticed more women noticing me. I like to believe that women notice us all of the time, but our minds are so clouded and our natural sex drives so low that we don’t even notice. In the last few weeks though, I’ve become much more aware of girls looking at me. Time to take all of this new sexual energy that I have and channel it into some meaningful interactions.
Do I believe NoFap is magic? No. Do I have superpowers? No. But I am addicted to PMO and the changes that I’ve introduced into my life through NoFap have had an overall positive effect. It’s been a crazy 37 days of trials, tribulations and rewards. I can’t wait to see what the next 37 have in store!
INITIAL POST – 10 days in. What I know.
Today is my 10th day with no PMO. This is not the first time I’ve been here. I’m in my late 20s and have been here countless times in the last 10 or so years. Each time I told myself it was the last time I would watch porn. Each time I relapsed within 2 weeks.
I’ve slept with multiple women and almost every time had ED the first time we slept together and several times after that. I blamed it on performance anxiety and alcohol, though I knew porn probably wasn’t helping. If I knew I was going to see a girl I would make sure not to fap for at least one day before. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.
Then, after experiencing ED with a girl I really like last week, I decided to Google a bit to see what was out there. I discovered /r/nofap. I discovered there was such a thing as porn induced ED. This was all new to me. I’ve never been a huge porn user and fapper. Perhaps once a day or once every couple of days. But I’ve been stimulating myself with porn since I was 14 and now I know my wiring is wrong.
Now I’m restarting my journey. I know it will be difficult. But I also know it will be different this time since I now understand what I’ve done to my brain over the years and what I need to do to undo it. I know that I will be able to have more meaningful relationships. I know I will be able to be intimate with women in a way that I’ve never been able to before. Most importantly, I know I will be a better person for this.