I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression ever since I started fapping. In 2013 I was so sick with adrenal fatigue that I would drop in my bed sleeping right after coming home from work. So I often had early dinner at my workplace. Thing is, I’ve just come to realise that the reason why my depression/anxiety both lifted back in 2013 is that I just did not PMO.
I was literally back to my childhood. My brain was back to its former, happy-go-lucky, natural state. It was so wonderful. I was positive and IDGAF again, but not in a negative/jerky way, I was nice to people, but on cloud 9. Like little kids feel, or at least I felt as a kid – everything was so exciting again. Even the dirtiest city streets seemed lovely, but that might be my former personality as I was a happy, bubbly kid pre-fap.
Sure I relapsed a couple of times in the toilet at work, but it seemed to not affect me that bad as I’d gone NoFap for several months before that.
When I quit my job and I went back to uni I had more time and I did not get so tired so I had more time to wank.
I call [that magical year] my “miracle of 2013”, so I really miss that year as life felt like it did in the 1990s before I started PMO. Panic attacks suddenly went away and I could even stand criticism from my supervisor like a boss lol.
Not surprisingly my life is hell again from 2014. I did everything the same way I did it back then – going to sleep early, eating healthy, avoiding stress, meditation, supplements and vitamins. But it seems NoFap was the secret ingredient that matters the most as I couldn’t replicate that heavenly feeling of being truly ALIVE.
What I know is that a week is not enough for me.
From tomorrow I’m restarting NoFap again. Not sure if some guys are affected more than others. I guess I’m born with weak adrenals or smth, as I know guys that climax very often, yet they still get girls and are happy. When I do PMO, I’m unhappy, depressed and turn invisible to girls. Guys also avoid me and refuse to be my friends.
But oh god how I miss 2013 and the 90’s, really going to try harder.
(Note: this was written Februray, 2017)