Age 29 – (ED) I am a much better person for it

Bit of background – I’m just turned 29, single and from the UK.. I’ve lurked on the subreddit for some time and eventually tried it towards the end of last year, did a few 3-4 weekers, and also hit a 47 day streak.

But at the time I wasn’t counting days, just trying to get into a habit, but eventually I had a quiet weekend and I just relapsed, was severely hungover and a little depressed, which now in hindsight I realise was a bad combination.. Wasn’t until a few days later I pondered how far I had got and figured it out to be 47 days.. Had I have know that I’m certain I could have controlled myself for 3 more days to at least make 50! So there’s a tip; count the days and break every 25/50 or every 10 into ‘mini goals’, makes it much more competitive vs yourself! (I celebrated 90 days with a huge portion of fish n chips, bloody lovely).

Anyway on with my experience, so on Jan 2nd I decided as a new year resolution to do a serious stint on nofap, partly to prove to myself I can do it, and partly as an excersize of determination and sheer willpower..

0-30 days – I honestly barely noticed a change, having said that I’ve done a few 30’s, but I really didn’t feel different in anyway (I also gave up alcohol for all of Jan, which might have kept my mind occupied on that so I didn’t necessarily notice the nofap), but had the usual ups and downs I’d normally expect, obviously a bit more free time. Looking back I now realise I had to make more of an effort not to just PMO.. Like, I had to mentally think not to do it if that makes sense, but overall not much change.

30-60 days – Beginning of Feb (30-40days) were very similar to previous month, had to actively think not to fap etc, and still felt like there was no change within myself which did test me a little, but I still had a mindset of “at least make 50 days so I beat the old record, and if I still feel no change then I’ll decide if I wanna continue”, although I admit this is a dangerous mindset, I think it definitely made me wanna make 50, if only to beat my old record, and when I made the resolution I didn’t specify a figure, just that I’d give it a decent shot.

Anyway.. Once I hit the 50 day target I was really pleased, but still felt like I hadn’t really changed, the only thing I would say is that I felt slightly healthier, but this could have been due to other factors, all the same I thought “screw it, doesn’t seem to have done any harm so I’ll just keep at it, but if I relapse then so be it”, this carried on for a few more days, and I kept visiting the subreddit etc and doing my thing, when suddenly I found this forum post (probably via reddit :)) – and specifically GABE’s videos (on the second post), I watched these and it gave me so much motivation to stick at it, and also his passion, mentality and explanation for why nofap is a good thing really struck a chord with me and if you haven’t watched them I really recommend you do! Not only did this give me a second wind, his passion and zest for life was a catalyst for me to really look at what I wanted to do and to change my circumstance for the better.

60-90 days – So I was revitalized from GABE’s vids and really motivated, decided to join a gym with the free time I had in the evenings etc and to start deciding what I wanted from life, started excersizing my brain more, reading classic books, listening to new music & playing more guitar etc, and then it began to dawn on me that nofap had begun to work! Maybe I was to eager to dismiss the benefit in the early days, but certainly my mind was changing my attitude to porn and women in general, along with giving me more time to read, excersize etc, therefore making me more healthy as a byproduct of nofap (more free time = go to the gym/read etc = a healthier all-round /u/Sundance360 !! 🙂 ) no fap was working.

Anyway, in the morning of day 68, something very strange happened which I never personally experienced as a teen.. wet dream.. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but basically I suddenly woke up about 4.30 am, realised I had a boner, went to turn over and it happened, just pumped for days (and I have to stress this whole incident happened in about 2-3 seconds of me waking up) so for a bit I was mega confused, dreary from waking at 4:30 and really felt guilty about it, I almost blamed my body for screwing me over. Basically for the next day or so I thought long and hard about whether I should reset the badge, if i should just quit completely, why did my body do this to me etc. But after a long think and checking the reddit guidelines etc, I came to the conclusion this wasn’t a badge reset in my book and here’s why – consciously there was no cooperation on my-part for it, I was asleep the enitre time right up until it happened, had i have known this was about to happen I would have taken preventative measures (cold shower/jump out of bed and to 20 situps or pushups etc), but it literally happened within a second of me waking up (I know the hardcore will probably see this as a reset and give me beats in the comments, but this is my personal feeling on it, your all welcome to agree/disagree). Looking back on this event now from 91 days, I feel like this was the changing point for me, almost like a re-birth, I feel like it was my body re-adapting to the changes I’ve made, and I know that sentence sounds weird, but its the best way i can think to explain it.

(Started to notice this is a fucking huge report so am gonna try to wrap it up – sorry) Since then it seems I’ve really started to see the benefits of nofap, I feel more energised, my ED seems to have cleared up (still to be tested in the field haha – but feel much more sensitive and treat women far far less like an object), feel much more confident (more socially confident and engaging with friends/people/women I like), I feel I stand straighter, am more social (I say yes to things I probably would’ve avoided historically), more mentally up-beat (although I still have depressed days – but much more rarely), generally a healthier more rounded and logical person above all I find I no longer respond to things that would have emotionally annoyed me a few months ago in the same way. I’m much more logical. In addition to this I find the ‘byproducts’ of nofap are great; more free time, more gym, more reading, more music, more hanging out with the boys, more deciding what I want from life, better relationship with the parents etc.

The biggest thing I’ve found over the past 2/3 weeks is the fact that PMO no longer figures in my rational thought, I come back from work/gym, eat, watch TV/read/hang/shower then bed, I no longer even have a thought about fapping or porn, like its just not an option to me anymore

Other key things I quickly want to touch on are on day 69 (night after the wet dream) I had a lucid dream! My first one ever, only lasted for a few seconds but it was awesome – quick shout out to /r/LucidDreaming 🙂 check it out, its awesome what you can do! Also read books! They’re great, especially The Chimp Paradox – – its an amazing book for understanding your psyche and when to emotionally respond or logically respond to a scenario (the author is an amazing bloke too, qualified medical doctor and sports psychologist, he was on the sky tour de france team and introduced amazing new ideas and got the riders to compete at a ridiculous level).

Anyway, I’ve written way way more than I meant and I’m gasping for a post work cuppa, sorry for the ridiculous read, but thanks if you made it this far! If you got any questions I’ll more than likely read all the comments so will try to get back to you!

Good luck on all your adventures and stay strong.

TL;DR – Was skeptical of No fap in the start, but its helped me in a massive amount of ways and am a much better person for it, will absolutely, definitely, continue.

LINK – Obligatory and slightly late 90 day HM report – Game of Thrones style Text Wall within [sorry]

by Sundance360