I’d like to see if any of you can help me with some of the difficulties I’ve been having for the past four weeks. About a month ago I started experiencing pain in my testes and penis so I decided to take a break from masturbation and, incidentally, from viewing porn. Along the way I discovered a TedTalk from the guy at YourBrainOnPorn and then soon after discovered this forum. I recognized that I was addicted to porn and masturbation and had been for the last 15 years (I’m 29 years old) so I thought I’d give the 90 day challenge a go.
Although it’s been a very valuable experience so far I have to say it’s also been very unpleasant in many respects. First of all, the horniness has actually been the easiest problem I’ve had to deal with–maybe I’ve flatlined–and for the most part I’m not finding it that hard to avoid masturbation or look at porn. The emotional/psychological problems I’ve had, however, have been severe. Firstly, I’ve been having extreme mood swings where I’ll go from giddy to angry to depressed all in the course of an afternoon. At times I ‘ll feel totally in control of my life and begin to take steps to correct my problems, and then at other times I’ll curl into a ball and lie in my bed feeling worthless. There will also be days and even times of the day when I really want to socialize, or go hit on women, but then there will be days and times when I can’t bear to talk to any one and I’m too tired to even do my laundry. I’m also having problems sleeping at night and will wake up too early in the morning without being able to get back to bed. For many years I’ve had a low level depression partly brought on by numbing myself through porn and marijuana– so I can see that the emotional floodgates have opened and it’s causing intense feelings I’ve been trying to repress. This is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.
But what makes me kind of sad is that I was so euphoric the first two weeks of nofap and was really making strides in improving the quality of my life. Now it seems I have even greater emotional pain than when I started out—and I only decided to start this program in order to eradicate this emotional pain. I guess I’m looking for assurances that some of these issues will be resolved in the course of 90 days. Has any one else experienced these kinds of issues while doing the 90 day challenge? Do you have any suggestions beyond exercising, cold showers, trying to be more social (I’m doing all three). Thanks a bunch.
3 months later
I lost my virginity. I have a girlfriend. My ED is diminishing by the day. I got a promotion. I’ve lost twenty pounds. I have real emotions now that I don’t numb with porn, food, or mindless web surfing. Four months of no PMO was the best decision I ever made. I’ll never watch porn again. This has been the most eye opening, most important four months of my life. Thank you to this community for helping me. I’m literally holding back tears right now…ok I’ll admit I’m a pussy: I’m crying.