Wow. So much as changed since I started this challenge:
- I broke up with my girlfriend of one year. Normally this is not something to feel good about, but in my case it is. See, with my mind all brainwashed with porn, I believed that as long as im getting sex, nothing else mattered in a relationship. I was only with her because I did not think i could find any one else to have sex with. So a few days ago, I ended it. I’ve got more important things to focus on than just sex.
- Health improvements: I used to suffered from what I believed to be hemorroids. I was too ashamed to go to the doctor for something like this so i did not know if it was hemorroids but from what I read, and suffered for almost 2 years, with the last few months causing enough itching and burning to wake me up at night. I used to wake up with eye boogers every morning for the last 10 years at least. I used to attribute this to my contact lenses, even though I always cleaned them up properly. These 2 things are completely gone. I know it has to do with nofap because they stopped at around the first month and havent come back since. My guess is these things were stress related.
- Career: I’ve recently felt disgusted at myself for having slacked so much my whole life. I graduated from a great school with an accounting degree and a decent GPA. I have nothing to show for it. I had convinced myself that corporate or office work was “not for me”. Now i realize that this was my wimpy lazy self making up an excuse for not being able to hold a good job with big responsibilities. In college I was already intelligent and quite interested in my field, but too lazy to find an internship. After college I was too lazy to find a good job. i thought of myself as too incompetent, i did not care about succeeding. I became “spiritual”, and left a decent job for an easy shit job. I let my parents down. All because of porn. Even when I decided to work at home as a stock trader, i quickly failed because i would browse porn after 2 hours of trading stocks. Now I realize all this. Now I feel like winning. I feel like going for what I want. I’ve been applying to jobs and reading books on job searching. I’m preparing myself to find the job I always wanted since young. I’ve never stayed in front of my computer for 5 hours straight without interruption of porn, just job searching.
What have I learned so far? Every accomplishment starts with a small initial effort. When you are in a bored state of mind you’re in a lazy state of mind. You will not feel like doing anything that takes effort. But if you start taking the action despite the feeling of laziness you will gain “momentum” and after a few moments you will be fine with doing that action and happy that u took the initial effort. This is why pmo is harmful, it makes you be ok with being bored and lazy.
This is actually how I got to 90 days. Initially I didnt count the days of being pmo free, I took a small initial effort of being pmo free for just 12 hours, then 24 hours, then 36 and so on. After a few days, I counted the days. Now I’m counting the months.
Also, giving yourself alternatives is bad. If you masturbate, thats your alternative to seeking a real partner.
One last thing I want to say is this. Wake up now. Most if not all people that try nofap will fail many times before they suceed but im confident most will succeed eventually. Dont be part of the group that never succeeds and loses. Take the challenge now. Time passes quickly and before you know it you will regret that you didnt stop pmo as soon as you found out about it. If you had started New year’s day, you would have already been 30 days pmo free.
We the nofappers are leaders, simply because we don’t give up, we only go for winning, fuck the alternative, we don’t even think about it.
LINK – Finally 90 days!