No PMO for 41 days. My sports performance has gone up. Yesterday I scored 3 goals in my soccer match. I usually play defender who doesn’t attack. The final score was 3-0, I seemed to be the only person who had the “gonads” to put the ball in the net.
Went to Columbia for a wedding and was shocked at how much my Spanish came back to me. I’m not fluent but I found it easier to converse with parents, grandparents, and…I only needed to be reminded one time of a Spanish word then it was in my vocabulary (better memory?)
Dating has been loads easier. I’m completely comfortable and confident hanging out with girls, even 2 short months ago I was a bit of a wreck. Nervous about how to keep the conversation going, etc. Now I am stress free as sex isn’t the end goal. Less pressure and perversions due to lack of P.
All the girls I’ve been out with on these 41 days have wanted to see me again. All have the trademark “wide pupils” that show attraction when up close with someone. One girl laughs at normal comments I make, saying “You’re SO funny” as if she’s subconsciously decided to accept me and consciously searching for ways to express that. The other kept telling me, “You smell SO good” when I wear the same crappy body spray I’ve always used.
Also much less social anxiety overall. I used to worry about “what right or purpose do I have to be here?” when hanging out in a bar or party or park or public space….as if I had to explain my reason for existing. That feeling is completely gone and I feel the freedom to just “be” wherever I am and have a general pleasure at being alive. This is pretty huge for someone who’s had a cigarettes and drug problem (marijuana) and subsequent depression problem that could less several months due to cratering dopamine levels.
Have had sex 4 times with two girls. O’d once about 31 days in, and then decided that I’d have sex w/o orgasming, as a way to preserve hard mode and see what benefits will continue from that. Met these girls online, still haven’t cold-approached many girls. But…have been quite social and made many friends in this (more-social) process. I’m a natural extrovert so its nice to fully embody that.
Things to improve on: less internet use, less procrastination. Need to get off crutch of internet dating.