Age 30 – 5 years trying to heal porn-induced ED: Finally made it.

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I think it’s fair to say that I finally managed to solve my PIED problem. Before I started rebooting ALL of my sexual contacts were devastating. I never felt any arousal. I was never hard in front of a girl. I was a complete loser and thought I might be a hopeless case.

I rebooted for a long time, about 5 years. There were times I didn’t use any porn but I never managed to have some kind of long streak without looking at porn or PMO. Nonetheless I could see improvements. Sometimes when I stood next to a sexy girl in the bus I felt some kind of arousal. I had the first wet dream of my life etc. My main problem was that I didn’t actively rewire.

About a year ago a girl tried her best to convince me to have a relationship. I was extremely hesitant and afraid because of my former experiences or the lack thereof. Still, I liked this girl and decided to give it a try. As I expected our first sexual encounters were not successful. I didn’t get fully hard the first couple of times and had a hard time finding her clitoris. I felt like a 13-year old.

I got hold of a couple of ED-pills and managed to lose my virginity at the age of 29. After the first couple of times I didn’t need the pills any more. I know some people are critical of using ED pills but in my case it was extremely helpful! Today I have a great relationship and sex life and feel happy about my life. I never thought that I’d be able to say that one day!

LINK – Finally made it (after years of trying)

BY – pohsenil


ORIGINAL POST: 5 YEARS EARLIER

I’m 26 year old and have been watching porn for over 15 years. I have learned about porn addiction in Jan 2012 and have been battling my dark passenger since that time. Pretty early my porn taste shifted from pictures of naked women to soft porn to femdom fantasies. These fantasies have occupied my brain during my whole teenage years and have affected my love/sex life tremendously.

I’m a virgin and only had one serious girlfriend. I lacked libido, experienced ED, felt unmanly etc… I covered the whole range. In my teenage years I always told myself: “Maybe you have a hard time finding a girl right now. But later on you’ll definitely find one. Until then you can just keep on PMOing (I thought of it as “practicing” for the real thing). It might not be as nice as a real girl, but at least you’ll be prepared when you’ll be able to have sex.” But in fact it messed up my brain and turned my love life into one huge disaster.

I know that I have to change my life to become a happy man – I want a girlfriend! My non-existent sex life and sex drive have been eating me up inside for years. In every other aspect of my life I would describe myself as outgoing, sociable, and positive now. I was a very awkward teenager, an outsider, but in university I managed to turn my life around and become confident with myself. It’s time to use my potential and become a happy man.

I already tried to reboot twice. I started my first reboot in Jan 2012 – the second one in Sep 2012.

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(1st reboot)

The first time I tackled the whole problem very naively. I thought the fight against porn would be comparable to other addictions and didn’t anticipate too many problems. I managed to stop smoking cigarettes and marijuana at my first attempt.

PORN:
I deleted all of my porn videos. I thought it would be enough to just not watch porn anymore. But I didn’t fully understand what was going on in my body.

MOing:
After a couple of week I started MOing again. I didn’t realize that it would slow down my progress.

INTERNET:
After about two months I lost my patience and gave in to my inner demons. I started to type in some of keywords that led me to my favorite porn earlier. I was able to stop myself in time on many occasions. But of course it was a lost cause and it lead to a relapse.

BOTTOM LINE:
Back then I read that a reboot takes about two months. It was hard to accept that my task would be much bigger than I thought. I realized that I needed to be much more patient.

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(2nd reboot)

After a couple of months of PMOing (and trying to start a new reboot from time to time, but ending up PMOing the next day again), I started a new attempt in September 2012. The first day was the hardest, but once I managed to have a couple of “clean” days, I was ready to go. I knew that I was battling a mighty opponent, so I made a couple of provisions.

TV:
I deleted a couple of TV-channels that contained triggers.

MOing:
I didn’t MO for 108 days, but I edged a lot in the beginning. I thought that it was a good way to train my penile muscles without having to O. At that time I didn’t know that it would slow my progress. Now I see that it did. On the upside: I masturbated without fantasy and was able to get a good erection a couple of times.

INTERNET:
I installed K9, a web protection software, to make it as hard as possible to get to porn. While it turned out to work alright and be a big help, my demanding brain still knew ways to get dopamine rushes. I peaked at arousing material quite often.

CALENDAR:
I kept track of my progress. At the end of each day I wrote down how the day went. I included parts of it in my signature.

GIRLS:
There were a couple of girls that approached me. But my libido was as low as ever. On day 55, after a night out, I was extremely drunk and ended up hooking up with one of them. I was able to get a 60% erection, which was the best I ever had with a girl. But it was way too early and I knew it. I was not ready for letting a girl in my life without any libido. Things became very uncomfortable in the aftermath – but that wasn’t rebooting-related.
On the upside: I did see light at the end of the tunnel. About day 85 I had the first approach of libido. I waited for a train and a cute girl sat next to me. I had a weird feeling in my stomach I hadn’t experienced since my teenage years. It might not be a big thing, but it felt great

BOTTOM LINE:
Even though I finally made it to 108 days of no PMO things didn’t go smoothly. My number one problem was not distancing myself enough from my old behaviors. I still peaked at arousing material. I was online too often. I watched a lot of TV. In retrospect I think that I looked at screens far too many times and allowed myself to become aroused while looking at screens. In the future I need to separate the two more strictly. The biggest problem is still my lack in libido – I need to be more patient.

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(3rd reboot)

I PMOd on days 108, 113, and 121 of my second reboot. I decided to make a clean cut and start my third and final reboot on day 122. I need to be aware of my triggers and bring more organisation to my life – i.e. I have to organise my work for university better. Though I’ll reckon from day 1 now, I’ll not start from zero. The progress I made during my second reboot will help me.
How I approach my third reboot:

TV:
Watch less TV and try to use the time more productive – i.e. work for university, read a book, do sports.

MOing:
I’ll try to abstain. But in my eyes it’s better to MO without fantasies than to peak at porn-related material. So I’ll allow myself to MO, when I need it, but it should stay a rare event.

GIRLS:
I think that I’ll be rebooted much faster than rewired. So I need to take things slow. If I see a girl I like, I’ll need to give my body time to get to know her. Sex is not my priority, but it will be my goal to finally lose my virginity at the end of this.

In any way I already want to thank you all for all you are doing here. Reading your posts, articles, and stories has helped me a lot in the past!

P.