Last week on Friday, thanks to HabitRPG.com, the wonderful people on r/NoFap, and the encouragement of a good friend of mine, I hit the 90 day milestone.
I’m 30. I think my reset really only took 60 days, but 90 days is still a big milestone on the way to infinity.
This milestone prompted a candid conversation between myself and my dear wife of 7 years. She knew that I periodically used porn. I told her about it ~3 years into the marriage. She didn’t really have a big problem with it and thought it didn’t affect me much (probably because she doesn’t have the same difficulty).
I never told her the level of severity of my porn use. I DID tell her about my efforts to kick the addiction, and she’s been very supportive. Last week, when I hit my 90 day milestone, we talked about it more at length. She was the first to point out a jump in my libido. She said she is happier and that she never realized how much it was affecting us.
However, she’s a little frustrated b/c now my libido is a lot higher than hers. She told me, “I wish it was as simple a fix for me as it was for you. (Not that what you did was easy. It was just straightforward.)” Surprise, surprise. Women are a little more complicated then men. (That’s a generality. Please don’t crucify me with statistical outliers.)
So gentlemen, I embarked on this journey to improve my relationship with my wife. It has worked better than I imagined. The level of honest communication and openness between us is better than it’s ever been. No feeling like it. But there’s still a long way to go.
Anyone else encounter dissimilar libidos with their SO after kicking porn/fap?
by buckyball_60 94 days