I’m 30 now. Started PMO very young to the Playboys my dad left in the bathroom and in a big pile in the basement. Once he told me that he left them out purposely because he wanted me to know what the female body looked like. I think it was a noble idea in his mind but it didn’t work out well for me. I knew what the naked ladies looked like but it was the catalyst for a problematic daily PMO habit.
ED and DE has been a fixture in every sexual relationship I’ve ever had. I’m sure many of you can empathize with the embarrassment, frustration, and fear that comes with ED. In high school it took months of trying with my girlfriend before she was able to get me off. In college I would sometimes sneak a Viagra before a girl would spend the night. Other times I would try not to M for 3 days to try and lessen the ED/DE. But it was always there – either blatantly or as a worry in the back of my mind. I couldn’t figure out the disparity between how I performed alone in front of a computer with how I was with a real woman.
And so I lived with it. I just though it was just how I was built and that daily PMO was something that everyone did. I lived with giving the awkward and apologetic explanations and the angry confusion and feelings of inadequacy.
Something that I don’t think I’ve ever seen mentioned here is the benefits of ED. ED kept me out of trouble from “sticking my dick in crazy” many times. Also the long-term relationships that I’ve had have been with patient and understanding women. Its a silver lining paid at a high price, but its been positive for me nonetheless. Recently I’ve found myself wondering how my life would’ve turned out if I had done NoFap early on. Maybe I would’ve impregnated a random girl, gotten an STD, or married a cheerleader. Who knows, but I’m sure my life would’ve been much different.
Anyway – today is a celebration. Hooray for me! 90 days. A few months ago I would’ve said its impossible. A while back a friend told me he regularly went a month without M and I was flabbergasted! How was that even possible? The longest I had gone since grade school was maybe 5 days. But like many others before me have written here, it is possible and worth the struggle for many reasons.
First off, I’m not sure if my ED/DE is improved. I’m doing mostly hard mode. I had PIV once around day 30 and while it wasn’t great, it was better and I was entirely present instead of in some out of body fantasy which made it much more intimate.
Secondly I’ve noticed a lot of the ancillary benefits that others have mentioned on here. More assertive, better posture, more confident, my equipment is bigger at rest, waking up is easier. I’ve been working out regularly and I’m in the best shape of my life. I went on vacation with my family recently and I didn’t have to worry about securing an internet connection or finding time to sneak off for PMO (which sounds pathetic in hindsight).
I’m not sure if the benefits are because of something physical or because of the confidence I’ve gained for taking control but I don’t think it matters. Regardless of fixing ED/DE or the exact reason WHY these changes have been made, I can without a doubt say that I’m better off now than I was 90 days ago.
The most useful thing I’ve learned from NoFap is to just concentrate on NOW. “I’m not going to PMO now” and the hours/days/months will just on tick by on their own. Also, there’s no way I could’ve done this without also doing pornfree at the same time.
I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process. Days 1-7 after the last O were really hard. There are ups and downs, flatlines, morning wood, sometimes foreign uncomfortable sensations. I can’t explain it exactly but its still less of a roller coaster than daily PMO. After a couple of months everything just….stabilizes. After that PMO is much less of a temptation and life seems easier. The urge is still there for sure, but it seems more like an alcoholic daydreaming about the past.
LINK – My 90 day report
by aterinomorachertic 90 days
After 2 months:
“I didn’t PMO and held strong but its tough sometimes and surprising random for me. Something big that I’ve taken away from pornfree/nofap is that my urges are rarely about being horny. The urges are noticeably stronger when I’m stressed, depressed, or anxious. It’s allowed me to know myself better so on days like today I can step outside myself and realize that PMO was a crutch- an on-demand 10 second shot of dopamine.”
After 8 months:
“A couple weeks ago my wife out of nowhere announced that she wants a divorce. No arguing, or cursing, no infidelity (I think. Not on my part anyway), just “I’m not happy. I want out of this marriage”. So my life is currently in a state of transition but I feel on top of it and I credit a lot of that to NoFap. Maybe its chemical, maybe its the feeling of self improvement, or that (hopefully) my ED will be gone when I’m back out in the dating pool. Frankly I feel that its amazing that after only 4 months this hugely upsetting event didn’t cause a relapse, and that gives me strength and confidence in myself. ”
So its been a been a big year for me. I can honestly say I’m much better off doing nofap. I finally had sex after 8 months of hard mode and it was great. My ED/DE is almost entirely gone, I can perform 3-4 times a day with my girlfriend, and more importantly its so much more intimate. Sex is now about the closeness and the pleasure of the sensation rather than just laying on my back trying to queue up the right porn scene in my head that will let me finish.
Physically there have been some interesting changes. I’ve take steps to improve my health and appearance through exercising, better clothes, orthodonture, and even getting my hair cut more often. I also sleep on my back (never did before) and I’m very rarely sick (I used to be sick all the time).
Some additional physical stuff that was a bit terrifying to go through so I hope it helps others:
I needed to “prime the pump” after hard mode- it took a couple tries with my gf before my penis started working properly.
For a month or so, it felt like there was a B.B. sized lump in my shaft that went away on its own eventually.
I had semen leakage during urination toward the end of hard mode.
I get a noticeable amount of ‘brain fog’ for day or two after sex. Its so strange that before I wouldn’t feel myself if I didn’t jack off every day, and now I don’t feel myself if I’ve had sex that day. Brain fog is still preferable though.
Good luck out there. Take it one moment at a time and stick with it. Its worth it.