I’ve gone 120+ days and my most effective failsafe device in terms of preventing relapse was one question. Every time I felt like fapping I asked myself, “If you could masturbate right now, but without porn and without any fantasy, would you still do it?” Almost every time the answer came back “No” and that’s how I knew it was my habit still controlling me. I wasn’t interested in the physical sensation of masturbation or orgasm, I was craving the hunt for the perfect scene or perfect girl (arousal addiction). Once I realized it was my habit and not real horniness I would get pissed and my resolve would double.
“Between stimulus and response is the freedom to choose.” – Viktor Frankl
I’m in my mid 30’s, been PMO-ing since at least 13. My PMO habit really picked up though once I started living alone and got broadband internet. In the last few years I noticed I had trouble finishing when having sex IRL. I never got into crazy or kinky porn and I did cut back on frequency of PMO, but the damage was done. I stumbled onto yourbrainonporn.com, had a eureka moment, and realized I needed a reboot and a reprogramming of my sexual circuitry.
I made it to 90 days and beyond on my first try, it was tough but it was worth it. Nofap worked for me.
Here is a short list of benefits I’ve noticed (nothing new here): Better mood, more energy, easier to put on/keep on muscle, less anxiety, calmer, clearer thinking, improved performance at work, more confident with women, being noticed by and/or noticing more women, starting to enjoy “the little things” more (e.g., music and food give me more pleasure).
I had a couple of flatlines and I still don’t think I’m out of the woods yet in terms of my reset. My advice during the flatlines is to realize that “this too shall pass” and exercise to improve your mood. Treat the flatline like a sprained ankle. Realize that it’s a physical/bio-chemical phenomenon, it’s not “you”. Just accept the flatline and ride it out.
I could go on and on, but the few paragraphs above encompass what I think are the most useful things I’ve learned in my 120+ day journey with nofap. In the future I may go back to fapping, but I know it can never again be with porn/fantasy. And without porn or fantasy I doubt I’ll want to be fapping like a madman anyway.
Thanks to everyone in the nofap community, I couldn’t have done it with out you!