First of all, I wanted to thank Gary Wilson (and others like him, including the active members of www.yourbrainrebalanced.com) from the bottom of my heart, for standing up for this issue (PIED) and helping to educate the misguided men of this world. Education WILL cure the demise of man. Aware parents of this generation will teach their sons that porn and masturbation can lead to permanent and serious harm to your life including friendships, relationships, self-image, confidence, and your general outlook on life.
Now let me continue by giving some background and describing how utterly low, my low point was. This should give you guys who have serious fears of permanent damage, some serious hope to trust in what this website and YBOP is trying to teach you.
I’m 31. I discovered masturbation by accident when I was 5. I later rediscovered it when I was 10. I don’t have a serious addictive personality, but I do push the things that I enjoy to extreme ends of that joy.
I have been masturbating regularly for 21 years. I gained access to porn when I was almost 15. I gained access to high-speed porn when I was 16 (earlier than most in my age group). I continued to masturbate to porn until the age of 31. When I quit porn, I had trouble getting an erection even while watching my favorite types of porn. My porn viewing habit started from simple smiling images of naked women (when I was 14-15), to gangbangs, and other extremely disturbing and niche genres that I’m too embarrassed to mention. When I quit, I would masturbate 2-3 times daily. Morning and night. I was so desensitized sexually, that I would zone out in the middle of a PMO. All this time, it _NEVER_ occurred to me that this habit was destroying my life. (Oddly enough, I was lucky and successful in every other aspect of life that was unrelated to women/sex)
I lost my virginity in my mid 20s. Thanks to my masturbation habit, I never had the confidence that I would actually be able to successfully have sex with a real woman, so I remained afraid to actually try. I suspect I lost the ability to have normal erections some time in my early 20s (around 23-24). This was when I noticed that even while viewing porn I had trouble keeping it up for longer than 5 minutes (my porn viewing sessions often took about 1 hour).
Sometime in my mid 20s, I decided that I didn’t want to be a 40 year old virgin. I accepted that I was one of the men that was born with a broken penis and decided to use viagra and cialis to finally lose my virginity. I’m a very attractive guy and very athletic, so I managed with all my awkwardness to finally get a girlfriend.
My first time having sex was with viagra. It was terrible. The whole time I was worried about losing erection. Through the sheer excitement of finally having sex, I managed to finish with my fake erection. I had sex many more times after that, always with the help of pills, and often the pills would lose their effect halfway through sex. Then I would have to try to get hard again and explain to my partner using one of my regular excuses why I lost it.
Fast forward to a few years where I got into my first long term relationship. Thanks to viagra, I put up the image of a healthy stud in my relationship. But that lie didn’t last long, as the excitement of the newness of the relationship wore off, and my porn addiction took away from my libido that was meant for real sex. Always unsatisfied with my sex-life, always fantasizing about porn scenes while having sex, losing erection (while on viagra) on too many occasions that I could possibly count, my relationship crashed and burned thanks to the mountain of intimacy issues I had created (there were some problems on her end too, but my contribution alone to the problem was devastating).
The break-up destroyed me for weeks. I reached out to internet to understand why I failed, and why was I cursed with this shitty body. Why did biology fail me!??!!? Why was it so FUCKING hard to have an [email protected]
I had to learn the fundamental reason behind it, because I believe you can’t solve a problem correctly and effectively until you understand the underlying cause. Thanks to a comment on a forum, I found YBOP and my life changed.
I can still remember watching Gary’s videos and at the same time crying and realizing how I had a huge and active part in destroying my relationship with someone I loved so dearly.
I was so disgusted and hurt by what I learned from the videos that I instantly developed a hatred and repulsion towards porn and masturbation.
I stopped PMO on 32 days ago. Cold-turky, hard-mode. That’s right. My first attempt. 32 days ago…
During this time I had crashes, I had urges, and I also felt all the benefits and clarity that everyone on here describes. Every woman I met would look more attractive to me by the day. Every sensation felt amplified. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been able to get semi-aroused by gently touching myself (without fantasizing). It was my goal as part of the re-wiring to help my penis re-learn how to feel again, by simply being touched, not by thinking about pornography.
A few days ago, I met up with my ex-gf. We both missed each other and she stayed with me for the night. In the morning before she left, we happened to both be naked while getting ready. I noticed that I was getting a semi just from looking at her naked body!!!! No touching!!! This had not happened to me for almost a decade! As soon as my eyes saw that I was getting hard, something in my brain clicked and as I got closer to her, the semi turned to a full-on erection.
I can’t describe to you how, incredibly earth-shattering this moment was for me. Imagine a 31 year old man, having a genuine, non-viagra induced erection, while standing up, for the first time in his entire life.
My anxiety melted away and we had sex missionary style (my most difficult position when it came to ED even while I was on pills). As we had sex, my erection only improved. It was probably 110% when I stopped. The sensations where the most amplified and the best they had been in my entire life.
I stopped when I was about to reach O. It was so incredibly difficult to stop, but the joy of success allowed me to.
Sorry this turned out to a long read, but to make it short, I am now able to get semi-hard from just getting naked around women. I am able to get fully erect from proximity and kissing. A simple touch makes me hard pretty quickly. The erections are so different and more pleasurable than the fake stuff with Viagra. There is no aching from the ridiculous fake flow of blood.
I don’t know if I’m cured, but I know I’m feeling something that I’ve never felt before in my life.
For the first time, I had real, genuine, normal sex with a real person just a couple of days ago. No pills.
I’m going to add a part 2 with tips on how I did it, why I think I got to this stage so quickly. I won’t leave you guys hanging just because I’m getting cured.
But I just wanted to share a success story from the perspective of someone who had it hopelessly bad. I hope this gives YOU hope to keep working on yourself.
The next step for me is to figure out when and how to re-introduce sex and O back into my life. I feel like I’m ready, but I want to be sure, so I’m taking it as slow as possible. I try to hit at least 40 days of NO PMO before I make an attempt at sex + O.
Stay tuned for my next post on tips