It’s been over my initial 42 day goal and I promised myself I would share my story (if I had one) thus far. About a year ago my fiance (24f) found out that I (31m) watched porn and masturbated to it. She didn’t mind at first since she thought it was rather infrequent.
But when we talked, she found out it was much more frequent – 3-5’s a week. It strained our relationship because, IMO it made her feel like she wasn’t enough. I didn’t see the big deal and neither did my male friends. I was numb to how this made her feel.
About 2 months ago, my fiance of 2.5 years broke up with me. She said she was unhappy but when we talked about it more, I discovered that she wasn’t attracted to me anymore. In her words, she said she lost that warm, fuzzy feeling of being in love with me, feeling wanted and was generally unhappy. Porn and masterbating was a huge factor for her.
Fast forward a few weeks I stumbled on this subreddit, read it over and committed myself to abstaining from PMO to improve myself. After about a week I started to have very strong sexual urges but they went away after about 8 hours. They were a real bear to deal with – very distracting I could barely work or do anything. I could also start to feel “the fog” starting to lift after about two weeks. Not gone but I was noticeably clearer minded. I started to become more active in my everyday activities again and find enjoyment in them that I hadn’t had in a long time. The big kicker was I started to notice women noticing me, usually just a look I would catch out of the corner of my eye, maybe some eye contact. I could never really prove it but I will swear that I looked more manly in my face.
My ex and I have a child together so we had to spend some time together (working out schedule, family events), even if just to exchange our kid. I noticed that she noticed changes in me: she followed my lead when we had to spend time together and bantered back and forth when the chance came up.
Fast forward 6 weeks, she texts me and tells me that she needs closure because someone told her that she was talking about missing me in her sleep. We talk it out and commit to working on the relationship (whole other story).
We’ve been back together for about a month now. Things are great and we have sex frequently where it used to be about once a week. I now get hard if she just brushes up against me – that’s a huge change pre-NoFap. I just can’t get enough of her. I still notice some ED troubles but it’s rather infrequent.
Anyway, I wanted to share my story for anyone that has a specific goal in mind and to let them know that success is a real possibility if you 1) know why you’re doing this and 2) know exactly what you want out of this.
Edit: In case anyone is wondering…fuck PMO. Reaching my initial goal is nice, keeping this up for the rest of my life is what I’m really aiming for.
LINK – Success Story