I am Hispanic and 32. I am in great shape I workout out at least 4 times a week. I have never done drugs or been married and I have no kids. I have been watching porn for maybe a good 8 years now. I would be on the computer looking at porn maybe at the most 2 to 3 hours everyday and masturbating everyday also to it. It was an everyday thing for me that I would put into my daily routine and spends loads of money joining various porn site. When I hit 30 I notice I had trouble staying hard the whole time I would try and have sex or even masturbate.
All this porn watching and masturbating finally caught up to me this year when I finally got a steady girlfriend. The first night we tried to have sex I would get hard but it would maybe last for just 2 mins and I would go soft. Even though I had a girlfriend I would still masturbate maybe 2 or 3 times a week because I was just so use to doing it. After that 1st night of note being able to have sex, I went to the drugs store and started taking vitamins and herbs to try and fix my soft erections. The following week the same thing happened again nothing. I was hard for a minute or 2. Good thing for me she was understanding of our situation.
So today was kind of a strange day. I woke up this morning and had all the energy in world and was in a good mood all day and being like this has not happened in a long time it just felt weird. I must admit it feels very dead down there. I was hoping for some signs of life, but nothing I hope as I keep on this PMO challenge it will start to come back to life and let me know everything is going to be ok.
Today was all about temptation. At work I was fine but after work when I went shopping the temptations started. I have been trying to keep all sexual thoughts off my mind but today at the store there were all sorts of ladies in short short and and revealing shirts. Every time I would see one coming I would turn and look the other way and focus on something else. Then when I went the gym to run there was this show on the TV call 1001 ways to die and it seemed all the segments on the show had to deal with people dying while having sex.
So day five, for lack of a better word, sucked. I did not get a good night’s sleep and I kept on having these weird dreams. They were not sexual or anything just weird. One dream had me just digging a hole in the ground. Then at work today my mind kept giving me flashbacks to foreplay things I use to do with my girlfriend. It kinda made me feel a little tingly down there but when that started to happen I would just focus back on my work. Then when I finally got home I was just so tired from the day I felt the strong urge to jerk off.
About 10 in the morning at work I got this headache that just seemed to pound away inside my head. It made it kind of hard to stay focused. I did not take any aspirin or anything and just let it run is course, I got a good nights sleep in and was not as tired or edgy as I was yesterday. The only thing was when I got home from work and was just watching TV I got strong urge to jerk off. I do not get hard thinking about jerking off and there was nothing on Tv to set me off. I just felt the need to do it just to do it.
I think I felt some withdrawal symptoms. When I woke up this morning I felt almost hungover. Made legs were sore, I had a scratchy throat and a mild runny nose and a headache. The runny nose went away but all the other symptoms stayed. I guess I am feeling those flu-like symptoms everyone talks about. I been having some flashback all during the day to and they just happen at random times like when I am working or driving home. I very quickly change my train of thought or sing a song to fight those flashbacks, but I had a lot of them today.
So I stat of day 11 taking a shower and as I look down I notice my nut sack is a lot fuller and not as baggy as it has been and I noticed my cock does not have that turtle look to it anymore it was hanging. All of this was a welcome sight . So far I have zero urges to look at porn. I have been getting the itch to jerk off but every time I do something else to take my mind away from that. Most of the urges to jerk off come when I just sitting around doing nothing.
I woke up with some morning wood. It actually woke me up because it felt like I was sleeping on top of the remote to the TV. It was about 25% hard and it stayed that way for a few minutes after I got up from bed. So I guess that is a positive sign. Then at lunch I went to the store and saw this one girl and when I saw her I started to get hard and me looking at a girl and getting hard has not happen in awhile. I at once looked away and try to change my train of thought but it was difficult I am sucker for a great pair of legs in some high heels.
So today makes 2 weeks of no PMO and I am proud of myself. I know I had a few times that I almost rubbed one out but I fought the temptation off. I can say I have had more energy than I had before, I am not as moody and laughing a lot more and my experience at the gym has improved a lot. I am now doing 10 pounds more on all my lifts and when I run on the treadmill I am not get tired so quick. I must admit running at a fast pace on the treadmill with bull balls can be painful at times lol. I notice a change in my equipment also.
So today marks 3 weeks since I have been PMO free and I must say choosing to do this has been a great decision. I have had more energy and just feel happy and better about myself. The only real urge I have had is the urge to jack off but I been winning that battle so far. I do know this that I will never look at porn again – after all the bad effects it had on me, and money I spent on it.
Well it has now been 4 weeks (28 days) since I have been PMO Free. I am glad the flu like symptoms have gone away, and my having to use the bathroom to pee all the time hase stopped. The only thing that I am having problems with right now is falling asleep, and fighting to urge to jerk off when I can’t go to sleep. I am still feeling full of energy and finding it easier to talk to people. Yes, I am still seeing that girl. Things are going great and she is a girl that likes ot take things slow which is good.
SO now I am at 5 weeks being PMO free. The trouble falling asleep has gone away and I am pretty sure I am over all my withdrawal symptoms. I had a nice surprise at the mall just the other day. There was this hot girl walking in front of me and I a started to get a full blown hard-on. Now that has not happen in like forever for me. It was a nice feeling and gave me confidence that this whole process is actually working. The best part: the hard on lasted for a good five minutes. It just made me feel great the whole day after that. I have also been waking up with morning wood almost everyday not full blown but just enough to let you know it’s there. I have been getting the urge to jerk one out lately but I keep telling myself, “You made it this far, so don’r ruin your streak.” I am still seeing that girl I meet a few weeks ago and things are going great with her. Life is a whole lot better and brighter now that I have found this website and started healing my self.
So today (day 38) has been crazy my Libido has a mind of its own. I have been getting hard-ons all day – not just semi ones but full blown ones. It’s like it has a mind of its own. Even at the gym tonite while I was on the treadmill I got one, which made it difficult to run and the cute girl running next to me did not help either. I must also say the urge to jerk off today has me multiplied by 10. It’s funny how one week its just dead down there and the next week it’s just wanting to wave hello to every girl that walks by you.
Well it has now been 42 days since I last looked at porn, jerked off or had an orgasm. I am really proud of myself and this week I have been seeing some good and comforting results. This week my libido feels like it did when I was in high school. I have had random hardons all this week and been getting hard-ons when I see a cute girl. Its not like the hard ons I use to get when I was looking at porn. These are full blown erections that look like it’s flexing and so strong it could balance a heavy book on it. This week has been kind of hard with all these erections and trying not to jerk off. I am really proud of myself for making it this far. For all the newbies out there: this process does work. I will admit I had my doubts, but keep a positive outlook and something to keep yourself busy, so there will be no oops moments. This process should be on CNN or something; it is that great.
All this week I felt depressed and was quick to get angry. Nothing bad is happening in my life just felt sad for some reason. This week my libido has completely disappeared where as last week I was getting erection every hour on the hour and now all is quite down there. I am still waking up with morning wood and I notice it sticks around longer and longer.
For some reason since the middle of last week I have been very angry and impatient for some reason. People can talk to me and if I am not interested in what they are saying it makes me mad. I am even getting road rage and just impatient when I have to wait in any sort of line. Its starting to scare me because I am usually not an angry or impatient person. I have still been working out 4 times a week to help offset the angry spells but its does not seem to be helping.
The anger I was feeling last week is slowly going away but I must admit the anger was helping me reach new all time highs at the gym. All this weekend I made sure to be out and about with friends and family doing whatever. I also for the 1st time feel a strong need to find me a girl to spend some time with not just for sex but to make a real connection. Its a strange but good feeling and I am putting some serious effort into this task. I feel like a whole different person inside and out.
I am glad to say all the anger I was feeling a few weeks ago has gone away. I did notice this past weekend my morning erections have been rock solid. I would say 100% as where they have been just about 80 percent. I do have 3 gals that I have been talking to and seeing hopefully I will pick the right the one, but for now I am just enjoying talking to them and hanging out with them.
So now I am at 89 days PMO free and I feel great. Mentally and physically. I lifting more than I ever had before at the gym and I am finding it easier to talk to anybody and everybody at any time, I am have been seeing 2 girls.
So the 92nd day of pmo free brings on the worse case of the blue balls I have ever had. It hurts to sit down, walk up and down stairs. Even at the gym yesterday I tried to run on the treadmill and only made it .25 of a mile till I had to stop. Even benching and squating was painfull. I just ran them under cold water and that helped some. I sure hope next week when I go out with that older lady she gives it up. All our talks always turn sexual so I am keeping my fingers crossed.
Well 100 days tommorow it will be offically 100 day PMO free. This has been a great journey for me. I feel, look and act like a totally different person. I feel more confident with myself, I can talk to anybody, I am not mad or angry anymore and all the little stuff does not bother me. Since my break up with my girlfriend in June I have dated more girls than I have ever had in my lifetime. My progress in the gym has been crazy good and I am stronger than ever before.
This past week has had its ups and downs. That older lady I was seeing turned out to be just a tease and was just all talk and no show. I am not really sad about it; just disappointed in her and her actions. On the plus side I did go out with a new girl I meet online thru a dating site. We meet for drinks and it went great we talked and laughed a lot and as were leaving she asked when she could see me again. Only downside is she is a workaholic, but that’s a good thing. That means she won’t be clingy.
So this week has brought on some new feelings. For the 1st time since I started this recovery I have the strong urge to jerk one out and by strong I mean very strong, When I am lying in bed trying to go to sleep that’s when I am having the most trouble fighting the urge but so far I am winning the battle and the war. I have also been having sex dreams every night and its not even with girls that I know its just random girl that my mind makes up in my dream. I even had a dream that I jerked off and I remember I woke up right away all upset because I thought it was real.
These past few weeks have been great. I am seeing a great girl we will go out on our 4th date this weekend and things are going great with her. There is never a silent moment with us one of us is always talking or making fun of each other. She just seems so easy to talk to and be myself. So everyone keep you fingers crossed for me that turns into a full blown relationship.
Well last night I finally decided to jerk off and now must reset the timer to 0 days. I made it to 165 days. I did not jerk off to porn or even fantasize, when I did rub one out. Just focused on how good it felt.
It was kinda like when you blow up a balloon and then let all the air out with all that built up pressure I had. I did not have use the kung fu grip like I had to in the past. Just very loose pressure…and my cock was way more sensitive, which I think is a great sign. I slept great and I am in a good calm mood this morning. I have not felt any of the chaser effects that I have been reading about. I am just ready to go another 100 plus days again that is of course unless some cute thing wishes to change that.
Today has been a great day I been in a fantastic mood with no bad side effects. I will check in again when I get some action.
Hello all. Just thought I drop by and fill everyone in on how I am doing. For the newbies I went 165 straigt with no PMO. After my reboot I have been doing great I have only jerked off twice and I have zero desire to look at porn. I have all the energy and confidence in the world. I have also been seeing this great girl going on 2 months.
I just want to offer some word of encouragment to all the new people here. Just set a goal and stay strong and positive. This process does work and I am proof. It will have its ups and downs. Just hang in there and you will be happy. Good luck to all.