So I thought I would take this Sunday morning off (from life) to share my story. Maybe this will inspire some of you to try harder with this challenge.
1. A little celebration of 52 days PMO free
This couldn’t have happened without this community, so thank you! I sorta missed my 30 day mark to write a post but that’s ok. Any day is fine to be happy with what you’ve accomplished. And this is a huge accomplishment for me after being imprisoned in PMO cage for like 20 years. (I’m 32 now.)
At the moment I can’t believe how fast the days go by and it only makes me proud seeing the counter every day. 52 days may not sound like a lot but my life has already changed so that’s what counts.
2. How did I get where I am
I have tried to quit MO prior to NoFap but unsuccessfully. I wasn’t comfortable with it even though I wasn’t aware of all the negative consequences it entails. I ploughed slowly through YT videos and YBOP articles on the subject and started to bulid a new mindset. It took me a couple of tries before I reached this 52 day mark. First I could only reach a couple of days, then I was able to get to around day 27 twice and this is my third longer streak.
Along the way I learned how to control myself better and this was mainly by reading posts by people here on NoFap.
3. So what helps
I think you should find what works for you. Some people here suggest really crazy ways to help resist the urges and if they can be successful that way, kudos to them.
What works for me:
- Building a mindset that is oriented towards the lifestyle change and getting things done. This absolutely essential.
- No procrastination. What needs to be done, has to be done, no excuses!
- Set yourself little goals every day and reach them
- Say “yes” to new activities or when someone asks you out
- Learn to say “no” to what undermines your mindset – sometimes you have to be a little egocentric to do that, but that’s fine cause you’re fighting a bigger fight
- Also learn to somehow distance yourself from people that weigh you down cause that can impede your progress.
- “Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever”. You can tell me all you want about Lance but show me a guy who has more guts and stronger will to do whatever it takes and to take what he wants.
- Use your favorite quotes to motivate you.
- Tell yourself THERE IS NO COMING BACK PMO. It may sound a little scary once you spell these words in your mind, but you have to do it, you have to tell it to yourself, embrace it and believe it.
- Consciously staying in this mindset is critically important in the first few weeks of NoFap. Then it sort of becomes natural. What once was an effort, slowly becomes a habit. Changing our behaviour is final and the most important aspect of our resetting process.
- Reading NoFap every day. Actually, what motivates me most are stories about guys getting dates, approaching girls, getting first kisses etc.
- Learning to anticipate when I might relapse.
You can actually notice when urges are starting to prevail. You can’t succumb to them. If this happens, get out of the house, meet with people or at least come and read NoFap.
- Focusing on positive and long lasting life changes.
Do not concentrate only on abstaining from PMO. Almost every addiction has behavioural aspect to it. You have to sort of become a new person and develop new patterns to successfully overcome your old habits.
- Trying things you have never done before.
Search for a new hobby. Learn a new skill. Practice yoga, start a dance class etc. You’ll be surprised how seemingly unrelated things improve other areas of your life.
- Be patient. Don’t let relapses ruin your mindset.
4. Are superpowers real?
Hell yeah! Right now I only get good days and awesome days. My energy levels are off the charts! That’s the most exhilirating feeling.
In terms of physical excercises I have improved especially my capacity for short intensive efforts like push ups, pull ups, deadlifts. I think my aerobic endurance stayed roughly unchanged but that’s a whole different story since I’ve been an avid MTB racer for many years. This year I eased off with training however to have more time for other hobbies and work.
Even if it’s just getting back to who you’re supposed to be, it sounds a lot more fun and reassuring to claim superpowers so I will continue to do so. This might also help staying on the right track with NoFap.
5. Work on your weaknesses
I am still far from where I’d like to be in terms of social skills, body language and all round confidence. Since I view PMO as a thing of past, I now try to concentrate all my efforts on building the right social persona for myself. Meeting new people has always been a huge problem for me. I guess I can display a lot of confidence in certain types of in interactions but I get really nervous talking to women or strangers. It’s like someone’s turning part of my brain off and often I can’t steer the conversation where I like.
So right now I try and learn how to initiate conversations myself, I go out more. I’ve started a dance class to sort of throw myself more out there.
6. Oh yeah, guys! I cannot recommend this enough. GO TO A DANCE CLASS.
This may help a lot if you feel nervous around women. This may sound silly, but you’ll see how they actually like being close to you while dancing and how they respond to what you do on a dance floor.
Plus dancing can be really relaxing and fun – I never thought I would say that.
I know this is long but I thought I owe this to the community. This challenge is really worth it.
I wish you all success! Thanks. Also please ask me anything you want.