Ok so I’m on day 15 of no PMO and I have seen the following benefits:
Consistent morning erections, improved erection quality and sustainability, spontaneous erections, general sense of calm and confidence, far less social anxiety, better focus, more strength in the gym, better quality of sleep. However, I still struggle with fantasies. In fact, all of my spontaneous erections during the reboot have been from fantasizing, not from being around females. Note that I am single right now and have not been having intimate contact.
My so far successful reboot has taken a sudden turn. Yesterday, for whatever reason, I was feeling kind of low. I didn’t have any morning wood and not much libido. I did, however, spend the day with my new girl which managed to start bringing me around. The day went well. We went driving in the mountains and did some hiking. We had been kissing and hugging all day. I had erections that came and went. Like before, eventually the making out became more intense and things started to go further.
Into the void day 36)
Ok so this morning I woke up with no erection. I was craving one so I decided to fantasize. Since fantasy has been losing its power with me lately it took a few minutes, but eventually, with no help it came around. I kept fantasizing and flexing the old PC muscles until it was nice and respectable. I stood up and admired the hardness and healthy angle. I kept fantasizing to keep it up. I knew that this was a type of erection that was more reliable and stronger than I was having with the ex girl (reality).
Day 48 another breakthrough
Its amazing how the great libido pendulum swings around. The last week or so, as I have been purging sexual fantasy out of my mind and dealing with the grubby withdrawals from that, I have felt lost, lonely, confused, almost asexual, worried, anxious and depressed. The only thing that was keeping me going was faith in my creator, nature and in the reboot process. Getting fantasy out of your system starts out as a hard task. It starts to get easier after a while. Then you notice that your libido starts to completely depart from you, even in your mind.
“You must unlearn what you have learned” – Master Yoda Day 56. 8 weeks. Best days so far as far as irrefutable evidence that my libido will return to a powerful and completely natural state were days 47 and 48 (I think that’s right – definitely close i would have to check my own blog). Since those two days I haven’t quite experienced that level of libido, but I have noticed some fluctuations where it will jump up pretty high. Also some extreme lows. I don’t know if this has to do with the reboot, but my face is breaking out like a damn teenager’s and I find it rather annoying. Been making some gains in the gym lately, maybe its the T.
Day 8 after 70th day relapse The effects of my relapse are already fading away. I am feeling very arousable. I even got a bit of a semi erection while I was flirting with a girl in the gym. This is amazing to me because I was sweating and panting and my heart rate was certainly up. Miles away from relaxation, but I felt a strong desire throughout my body to take her and my penis was definitely responding. I honestly think that I am pretty much there. Staying away from fantasy is key. Staying in the moment is key.
I was going to blog on this several days ago, but I wanted to give it some time to make sure that it wasn’t just one of those random mood/libido spikes. Not at all the case. I don’t mean to let you guys down by not having a sex story to go with my recovery claim (lol!) but I believe that I am cured. I just feel natural virile and horny. I have had a few recent sexual encounters (one around Haloween and one last weekend) that involved very minimal touch and kissing. Both brief episodes gave me an erection each time.
Day 92 Still improving
Well I’m checking back in with another update. I would say to any of you who are at that “I think I might be cured but something’s telling me that I need more time” phase to be patient and listen to your gut. I experimented with MO around day 80 and I figured I was cured. I won’t say that I was wrong, but I am glad that I have abstained since then. My libido is now consistently increasing and I am feeling more and more natural and complete, literally renewed. My morning erections are insane! I don’t even think about it anymore they are just there.
I think its like 150something but I’m not really sure I lost count and I am at the point where it doesn’t matter so much. For this post, I just copied and pasted a recent reply I gave to Marnia, which pretty much says what I need to say here. Stay strong, don’t give up!
Its actually going quite well so far. We don’t see each other very often but we have a great time whenever we do. We haven’t had sex yet, she wants to take it slow and she has only had sex with one other guy before. There is the age issue (she is 21 and I am 31), which only really concerns me for socioeconomic reasons. However, she is very smart, fun, career oriented, and fairly wise with money. She’s also knock-dead gorgeous! Yeah I guess I’m still a guy after all lol! She is very kindhearted and easy to get along with. Definitely worth waiting for on the sex. We haven’t officially decided to be exclusive yet, but I think things are moving in that direction. Thats one thing I am going to have to watch – not having porn as an outlet for my natural tendency for promiscuity is going to put me at greater risk for real cheating, especially in a long-distance relationship. Another good reason that we are taking things slow.
From the reboot standpoint, I’m doing spectacular! Any time my girlfriend and I make out, caress etc., I get rock hard and it usually lasts for the entire time. I really just don’t worry about penile function anymore. I seem to have morning wood pretty much every morning with the exception of mornings when I am woken up by my alarm clock after 4 hours of sleep. Spontaneous erections throughout the day are more the norm than the anomaly now. I am closer to finding an ideal schedule for MO simply based on MO’ing only when I have a persistent erection and that feeling that I have to release the energy or I will explode.
In my current situation, living alone and being in a long distance relationship, that ultimately has been boiling down to MO’ing about once a week. Fantasies are minimal and they are usually only in my mind at the onset of arousal. After that, I have found that I can easily MO while focusing primarily on the sensations. I also feel that I have far greater control of my ejaculations as well. Its like I can choose precisely if and when I orgasm and ejaculate. On one hand, I am frustrated that I have still not had a chance to “officially” test out my repaired libido, however, on the other hand I don’t regret abstaining for this extended period because I am actually still experiencing improvements. It just keeps getting better and better. I am so confident around women now its ridiculous. And its not some kind of sleezy, conceited confidence, but more of a calm, easy sense of self assurance.
The old, primitive, natural sexual cues are what turn me on now (like when a woman flips her hair back, walks with a nice, subtle swing of the hips, or smiles at me). The days of porn are over and its influence on my mind has nearly faded into oblivion. I know I have thanked you and Gary on multiple occasions and its probably getting old at this point, but thank you thank you THANK YOU!!! You guys hit the nail on the head and I am thoroughly convinced that what you have written about porn, the reward center, overstimulation and sexual functionality to be science FACT. PS I am still interested in designing a new logo. Just been really busy lately, but I’ll try to work that in! XPornHead30
Hello everyone! I have been off of the rebalancing site for quite a while. No big reason, just loving life and, of course, sex! Just checking back in to assure you all that you are on the right path. I have been dating the same girl for 10 months now. The sex has been mind-blowing and it continues to get better every day. If someone asked me what my secret to rock-hard reliable erections was I would simply tell them that it has been well over a year sinse I have viewed porn and basically 10 months since I have masturbated.
I am almost 32 years old and I continually wear-out my 21 year old, track athelete, girlfriend in bed. I can make her cum vaginaly, which is something I used to have a lot of trouble with because I could rarely last long enough. We still don’t live together officially yet. She stays with me usually in 3 to 7-day strethes. During these visits, we usually end up having sex somewhere between 3 and 6 times a day.
I have taken a, kind of hybrid approach to karrezza, mixing non-orgasmic sexual activities into the orgasmic sex routine. As good as the sex is, I am still succeptible to the coolidge effect and the allure of novelty. I have become attuned to my body and mind well enough to sense when my desire is diminishing. Luckily, though this usually means my erection might take a little more coersion than usual, these are the times when I can last forever in bed and really make her cum like crazy while preventing myself from cumming. I have many times experienced ejaculation without loss of erection and being able to go right back into sex after cleanup. I can literally last for hours.
Please note that I am not trying to brag. I am simply trying to reassure all of you that NO PMO WORKS!! I was probably as bad off as any of you. There were times that I wondered if I would ever get it up with a woman again.
Preformance anxiety, vascular blockage, penis pills, testosterone levels..BULLSHIT!! Years of internet porn and excessive masturbation are the culprits, period. If I knew that sex could be this good back in those days I would have thrown my computer out the window! Anyhow, if anyone needs some advice or just wants to chat with someone who has been through the fire and come out the other side, I’ll be checking the forum more regularly for a while. Gary and Marnia are absolutly right about this stuff. Good luck and stay srong!