Age 33 – Transformed into a badass motherfucker

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Life before nofap…skinny, arrogant, egotistical asshole loser. Shemale porn addict, alcoholic, video game binger, mamas boy, lonely, depressed, skinny, people pleaser, scared, unkempt, smell, unorganized and creepy.

[I did NoFap because] my mom told me she hoped I wasn’t to weird to never find someone to love me. Then I sort of did a lot of self reflection and found porn was a really negative influence on my mental health and energy.

Here’s where I started and how bad I was…..I thought if I ate salad it would turn me gay! I didn’t eat salad till I was 29 years old. I finally got the courage to eat salad, and it turns out I didn’t turn gay! Once that was out of my head, I thought, “jee I’m funny, why don’t I try stand up comedy? I BOMBED that, lolol. Then I thought “ok, I suck at comedy but I’m a great guitarist” so I started playing shows. It really was as simple,as that, I just kept doing the next thing my heart told me to do, and it built me up to where I am standing now.

I am incredibly lucky to be a full time tenured 8th grade U.S. History teacher.

  • Went from 170 pounds to 185 and shredded.
  • Quit drinking alcohol.
  • Quit video games.
  • Quit weed.
  • Quit gambling.
  • Learned Spanish.
  • Moved to a nicer neighborhood.
  • Restored my backyard and hosted parties.
  • Mastered cooking.
  • Mastered guitar and played my own 45 minute solo show in NYC.
  • Mastered darts.
  • Won two soccer adult league championships (outdoor and indoor) and was the mvp of indoor.
  • Broke up with a sex addict girlfriend.
  • Ran a half marathon.
  • Learned how to survive in the wilderness.
  • Learned how to farm.
  • Learned how to sew.
  • Learned how to be social.
  • Went to therapy every two weeks.
  • Eliminated any and all toxic people from my life in all areas, family, friends and co-workers.
  • Took the pussy off the pedestal and put it back on the ground.
  • Ate extremely healthy.
  • Meditated for 40 nights in a row.
  • Tried (and failed) standup comedy
  • Hiked part of the AT
  • Backpacked through Costa Rica.
  • Became a badass motherfucker.

Longest streak during that 4 year stretch was 425 days. For the 400 plus days I did, no porn, jerking it or sex. Then I went hog wild and had sex with like a dozen women and had a few relapses because I was out of control. Now I’m back to hardmode for this latest streak.

Now I’m at 50 days and really picking up steam again. What are you doing in your life, still fapping? What a bitch. I’ll be here waiting for you when you are ready with the rest of the men.

Had just over a year streak as my biggest. Only reason I relapsed is because I realized I had a drinking problem and the weight of fighting both those addictions took me down. I relapsed a lot when I was fighing alcohol, which I am now 6 months clean from. About 4 months into sobriety I started to battle porn again. I had one sort of relapse in April when a crazy girl texted me a video of herself naked and I wanked it to that pic. Since then hardmore.

No PIED. I had a year period where I had lots of casual sex….it was fun at the time but it held me back.

Just appreciate the beauty of the women that you are with and see the sex with her as a gift from the gods. Gifts aren’t meant to happen a lot or everyday. If we had Christmas everyday it wouldn’t be special. Treat every real sex experience as a joy and and gift, and it will make MO or PMO seem disgusting and a waste. I think it’s all about intention with sex. When I was having a lot of one night stands and hooking up with unstable women, I was just chasing and caring only about an orgasm, so it led to relapses. If you are having sex and it’s enjoyable all around for all the senses and you are truly present, then for me it’s ok. You’ll know what’s right for you, trust your instincts and go with what they tell you.

It just sort of feels like my energy and focus is being transferred away from my balls and dick and more toward my brain, focus and soul if that makes sense. I am much more assertive and make choices much easier now. I still rememeber when it first started to change, I would shake and tremble and sweat when trying to make a choicel. No more.

I worked on a Farm to table restaurant in Maine three years ago. The women and man were a beaitful couple and really gave me the ins and outs of what it takes to run a farm and the lifestyle it entails. I’m also wired for problem solving, hard work and knowledge so I soaked it all in. In my backyard at home right now I have pears and mulberry trees, snap peas, spinach and tons of flowers and herbs. Only reason I don’t have more is space. I also ran my own environmental program with the Nature Conservancy in Illinois and partnered with local organic farms. My best friend runs Grow NYC and my grandparents ran a farm.

EDIT: I worked HARD for all of these gains, and each one it took a lot to push through and really go for it. Everytime before a goal was achieved I always had a visual in my head. The farming, the Costa Rica trip, the music. I would just get an idea in my head and that would be the next thing that I did. No planning really beforehand, I just tuned into and trusted my instincts. All it total I would wager in those four years I probably had about 40 or so relapses, but I NEVER binged. If I fucked up I just took my medicine and moved on.

I’m 33 and 5’10”.

LINK – 4 years of trying NoFap. Other life changes and successes.

By PattyIce32