This is my 90th day, I was thinking about not writing anything, but I need this for closure and because so many of your 90-day reports are what kept me away from P most nights.
My daily routine 2 years ago:
Come home after work, smoke a joint, pmo and watch tv/play video games…. repeat this every hour or two (about a 5-6x a day pmo habit). I had massive ED, any girl I took home was a dissapointment, pills didnt help and eventually my confidence was so ruined that I didnt even try anymore.
October 6, 2011 I was stoned on my couch, fapping as usual and I heard ‘your brain on porn’ mentioned on the TV in the background. The idea that I may actually be able to have normal sex again seemed like a godsend, I had convenced myself that I was so broken.
The 2 year grind:
This is an incredibly tough addiction to break, especially when youre beginning. After 120 days (with a few relapses in between) i was able to have successful sex again. I was so happy and started to fix my life, eating healthier, quitting drugs and getting some hobbies I really loved. I got longer and longer streaks with shorter and shorter binges over these 2 years but complete abstinence still eluded me.
In early september 2013 I had decided to stop messing around. There were life goals I wanted to accomplish and I was sick of caving into PMO every few months. I dumped my gf, moved to a new town and told myself I shall not fap in this new life. I had one last relapse and was sooooo incredibly disgusted with myself that I never want to feel that way ever again in my life. I have absolute rage towards fapping, porn, or any of that bullshit. Im about accomplishing my goals, getting the women I want, and being the man Ive always wanted to be.
My life now:
-I take care of myself, I LOVE myself. Clean house, clean clothes, fresh great tasting food and 8 hours sleep.
-I have cool friends and a great life, I race motorbikes, skydive and play guitar.
-I’m spending hours a day building the awesome company I always dreamed of building.
-I look people in the eye and am confident and funny in social situations.
-any pmo thoughts are seen clearly for the cheap, crappy high that they are.
-BEST OF ALL…I was always really shy with girls, now I cant believe how balsy Ive become! I will stare a girl down with horny eyes with no subtlety whatsoever and not feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. Its fantastic watching a girl melt over your affection like that, I cant count how many opportunities I’ve missed during my dark years of fapping.
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” -socrates
First, I’m unsubscribing from this sub. Its been the greatest help in getting me here but Ive grown beyond it now. I can no longer relate or empathise with the posts of habitual relapsers, and it scares me and makes me sad to be reminded of the addict I once was…. I need to let this sub go. I will instead be on r/seduction developing some new skills. I will come back to give six month or year updates. Other than that I’ll be building my life exactly as Ive dreamed it, there is no other distraction in my life that will fulfill me as much as accomplishing my dreams.
I cant believe the change nofapping makes. It gives you your brass balls back. Here’s some links and lessons that have helped me the most.
On finding your purpose
Youve got to find somthing better than PMO, otherwise youll always be thinking about PMO. There is something in you that you really want to do. ITs not necessarily get rich, play in the NFL or anything, maybe its as simple as wanting to be an awesome dive bar guitar player or owning a condo building. Initially its like the dishes, you wont want to do it, but the second you start it gets kindof addictive. Here are some links that I found helpful:
This is a great motivational article (remember, coffee’s for closers): http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
This is a great post on how to beat PMO by finding a purpose (monk mode) http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0
This is a great book about “how to be a man” and discusses finding your purpose: http://smilyanov.net/download/pdfs/The%20Way%20of%20the%20Superior%20Man.pdf
This is what I’m looking for out of sex from now on: http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1tj67a/i_thought_id_share_from_a_professor/
If superman’s ‘dad’ hadnt gotten stuck under that car maybe superman would never have realised he had super powers. If you dont go out of your routine you wont realise them either. I didnt think I had them untill day 75, i went out to clubs solo. I was scared as hell and awkward but I could not believe the social BEAST that was inside of me. Do things that scare you, trust me, you now have the power to take on the challenge!
Thanks for all the support guys, its been a great journey. I hope to meet you guys out in the real world. I’ll recognise you by your desires for life and ability to keep your women horny and attracted 🙂