How crazy is that! 35 years old, had lots of sex over the years but never any intimacy and never a steady girlfriend due to:
- no confidence to speak to the girls I wanted
- unrealistic expectations
- low self esteem
- feelings of unworthiness
Also suffered from escalating sexual fantasies due to years of daily porn viewing. My journey was topless women -> straight sex -> hard stuff -> embarrassing fetishes. These fetishes have totally disappeared which is amazing.
Sex-wise, I often had delayed ejaculation and very recently for the first time mr floppy.
All my friends are married with kids. Although I’m a top career guy and considered very handsome, charming and intelligent, I have the emotional age of a child.
Daily porn viewing stunted my emotional growth much like a serious daily drug addiction would do to anyone.
- This was the real reason I couldn’t get a girlfriend and had low self esteem.
- I thought the porn was helping me deal with life and stress – but in reality it was killing me.
- If I could go back in time and stop myself when I was in my 20s, at university – I would 100%.
- Recovery is not easy at any age, but Jesus, if you’re in your 20s and watching porn daily to combat stress, low self esteem and not having a girlfriend realise now that you’re actually killing yourself.
- Don’t be me.
- Looks, brains and success count for nothing if you don’t have self esteem and contentment (trust me on this).
I’ve done one-to-one therapy, am currently doing group therapy and I go to one sex addicts anonymous meeting every week. All amazing.
I’m getting better.
The deal I made with myself was no PMO or sex and no dating plus almost no drinking for 90 days.
I’m starting to date again now.
This is the longest I have ever been orgasm free in my entire life. That’s 112 days vs 35 years.
ps. If you have low self-esteem, stay off the weed. Again trust me on this. You won’t realise the damage you’re doing until later. Until you get to my age.
THREAD – 112 DAYS HARDMODE – AMA