I made it. I have not looked at porn or masturbated for 90 days. This started somewhat suddenly for me. I didn’t plan it all out, but it worked.
Tools used: (1) OpenDNS. (2) Open conversation with spouse. (3) Alcohol (I know this might trigger other people, but it helped me go to be earlier many nights. That being said, sometimes when drunk and playing on the computer I had some challenges to not look at porn or to not rationalize looking for porn and masturbating). (4) This Journal. (5) The NoFap community. (6) Willpower.
Next week, I am spending a week in Hawaii with my wife. Kids will be at home with grandparents, it’s going to be amazing. We are both really excited. It almost feels like a reward for getting to this point (this wasn’t planned though).
I am thinking of resetting my counter, and starting another 90-day journey. Perhaps that will be my NoFap/Workout thread. I badly need to include physical activity in my day – I don’t move around nearly enough.
One thing I am learning is that I do have the ability to change myself at the core. A true, non-superficial change. Normally, I have thought that people don’t change. Well, I suppose they do.
I have kicked a porn habit, now I will monitor that progress and make sure there is no casual relapse or slide down the slippery slope.
I decided that I don’t believe in my religion. Others may disagree, I could be wrong. But I don’t think anyone can argue how dynamic of a change that is. And in changing my belief structure, I don’t believe I lost my morality. Good is good, bad is bad. Guilt shouldn’t have anything to do with it. Remorse – that can have an important role, but I believe remorse is different from guilt. Remorse is a regret for an action and the consequences of the action on yourself and others. Guilt is a self-inflicted wound, and is non-productive. This applies to NoFap and to other behaviors in life.
So… Day 90. Achievement! Thanks for reading. Thanks for the support. Stay strong! If I can do it, anyone can.
90 DAY POST – Day 90. Link to my “journal” describing my progress.