Age 36 – Gay – “I was down, depressed, going nowhere”

I’m 36, gay and have MO since 13 and PMO since 24. I can’t believe I made it to 100 days. Before I came across r/nofap I didn’t even think it was possible to go for more than a week without MO. I used to be so confused as to why I was down, depressed and going nowhere in life. The depression hasn’t fully gone away but my life is getting better and better every day. I seem to attract happiness now rather than repel it. I built up the courage to quit my job about a month ago and have been studying for a new career since. I have this feeling that everything will be OK.

Before I would be anxious most of the time, worried that something will go wrong, but now there’s a little voice in my head that comes up when I feel anxious that says “no, there’s no need for anxiety. Everything will work out for the best.”

This experience has really brought out a deeper awareness of my self and has opened my eyes to problems like my perfectionism. I spent so much time trying to be perfect I couldn’t achieve anything. I believe the media has hypnotized us into believing we’re not good enough. Well not anymore. I am good enough! We are good enough!

Nofap frees up your thoughts and gives you access to much more energy and motivation than you had before.

I think the next step for me is trying to calm down sexual fantasy. I did this the other day with amazing results. I had been calming down my fantasies all day and at the end of the day went to the shops and felt this amazing power and stability in my mind. I hadn’t felt that since the first few weeks of nofap. Then I saw a cute guy walk into the shops and it all went away. But it’s a start.

Try this for a day – No sexual fantasies and no perving for a day. See what happens!

The one thing I’m certain of is I won’t go back down that hole where pornography lies again. It’s a dark place. I once heard an analogy of someone who grew up in a cave and had never seen the light of the outer world. If you took that man out of the cave and put him into the outer world, he wouldn’t be jumping for joy. He’d probably be sad, scared as hell and there would be a few tears until he knew it was safe. Well that’s how I’ve felt doing this and I’m not going back into the cave again!

LINK TO POST – 100 day report. 

by brisbanelad99 days