As you get older (me mid- to late 30’s) M2P (masturbating 2 porn) and the ED that comes with it becomes worse and digs you in a larger hole. I M2P for 10 years, non-stop. My habit was at least as bad as anyone else’s. I would be willing to put money on it. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND…..
In my early 30’s, 4-5 years well into my addiction, I could still have somewhat of a sustainable sex life. I at times could get somewhat erect with a little female help and have sex. Other times I had to jerk myself to an erection. Some sex was horrid and I had erections for 2-5 minutes and other times I had them for 20-25 minutes. But it was pretty rare for it to be naturally erect. Most of the times it was getting semi-erect by being turned on then jerking myself to get hard; Or the other times it was jerking myself to get an erection.
I honestly did not know that M2P was the cause of my ED until maybe a year before I quit. I was doing research on ED and I came across it. HIT ME LIKE A BOLT OF LIGHTNING. I had always assumed it was a combination of nerves, masturbating too much. Never did I figure that it was M2P and the science of Dopamine that was the cause of my ED.
When I hit my late 30’s is when I could not get any type of natural erection with a woman, nothing. I recall meeting a woman on an online dating site. She came over to my place straight after work for a hook-up. This was the first time we were going to meet. She arrived, we hugged, and she went straight to the bathroom to change. She came out of the bathroom dressed in a black bra, black stockings and garter belt and high heels. Picture that gentleman. And she was very pretty. I mean, this was something straight out of a fantasy. Don’t get me wrong, I had a tremendous amount of great sexual experiences, but using this one as a good example.
So she let me take a few pictures, then we began to make out. Ok, by now my mind and the connection to my penis was so warped and broken that when she’s on her knees giving me oral sex in my living room, my erection is at maybe 40% at best. Guys, at 38 years old, healthy, in good shape, my erection should be at 120% with what I had in front of my on her knees. We had sex for about 40 minutes. I had to jerk myself every time to get hard. And she could not ride me cause if a woman got on top of me I would not stay hard. The best way for me to stay hard after jerking myself to erection was doggy style. For the last 5 years of my porn ED, a woman could not ride me, cause I could not stay hard.
Quitting was difficult cause I kept watching porn and going on swingers sites thinking I could browse and look at porn and pictures and not masturbate to them. It would last a couple of days, maybe a week. One time I went 16 days without watching porn and just masturbating just in the bathroom, in bed, the shower. By the 15th day of that masturbating sucked. It was not fun, lacked any enjoyment. There was nothing to feed my brain with, no porn, no pictures of wives on swinger sites. I gave in and masturbated to porn.
How and when I finally quit? I can sit here and tell you I just got tired of it. Something finally snapped in my mind that it was time for a change. Maybe 10 years of the addiction finally was to much for my mind. I really don’t know. I knew it was time to quit and my brain finally agreed with me. Funny thing is, yea I was tempted to watch porn and all the other stuff, but my brain finally was able to take control. I wish I had a secret to tell you guys the secret to quitting. But I don’t think there is one. You just have to set up a program for yourself to quit.
The easiest to do is to not watch it, it’s so easy not to click on it, and walk away. You might have to do that 5 times a day or 20 times a day. But walking away from it is the easiest thing to do. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE HARDEST THING TO DO? The hardest thing to do is to not masturbate to porn when you are watching it. I guarantee you you will masturbate; if not that day, but the next.
Porn ED is a fairly new thing in the science and psychology community, much research will come of it in the next 10 years as medical professionals realize it’s starting to affect kids as young as 15 and developing a generation of porn addicts that develop ED in their formative years. I’m going to guess that online porn will eventually come with a black box warning of the potential damage it can do in terms of sexuality and self-esteem.
I think I quit M2P maybe 15 times in a year before I was finally able to kick the addiction. Honestly, in retrospect, I should have gone and seen a therapist when I could not quit the first couple of times. Think that might have helped me quit a lot sooner and help me understand why I did what I did to myself. Guys, I have no shame talking about this addiction. Feel free to email me if you have any questions from a guy who I’m willing to bet had the worse addiction of M2P ever.