I’m 41. I started using porn in about 1989. My mates and I would connect a pair of VHS VCRs to make and share apalling-quality tape-to-tape copies of whatever porn we could get hold of. I would take these home for PMO. I would dial-up bulletin-boards and wait patiently to download images one at a time. I would save these and look at them for PMO.
Throughout this time, I was lucky enough to have a series of very lovely girlfriends – some of whom would enjoy P with me – and no problems with sex.
When http and the web started taking hold in about 1993, I’d be dialing up regularly to download sets of pictures for PMO (almost daily) and gathered quite a collection. I continued to have a succession of fairly long-term girlfriends and plenty of trouble-free sex. Towards the end of my dial-up internet days, it started to become possible to download very short and very low-res video clips. I’d queue-up clips to automatically download while I was having problem-free time upstairs with my girlfriend – then I’d edit the clips together to make a couple of minutes worth for PMO.
I got married in 2001 and got my first ADSL (you youngsters might call it ‘broadband’) shotly after. I had plenty of good sex with my wife but would also find moments to PMO several times a week to images and downloaded video clips. I think porn tube sites started appearing around 2009, and I thought they were great for zero-waiting-for-download PMO when the wife was out or not looking. It was maybe a year after this that I noticed an occasional incidence of ED.
I got myself an ipad1 for christmas 2010. Within minutes I’d sorted out an incognito browser, flash-free porn sites and file-safes for off-line viewing. PMO became once a day minimum and very often a lot more. I could just take my ipad into the bathroom or with me on a business trip or next to me while working from home. This continued with ED episodes becoming more frequent.
I did notice in 2011 and 2012 that when I went on holiday with my family I would have no ED after a couple of days and much enhanced erections for my wife. My wife and I both put this down to the ralaxation benefits of a holiday and, ergo, blamed my ED on stress. With hindsight, it is interesting to note that my ipad and any other porn vehicles were nottaken on those holidays.
Around christmas 2012 my ED became very frequent. I escalated my porn use and found I had to become more agressive with my M and more varied in my P to get to get an erection and get to O. I got this idea that forcing an erection would somehow help the ED now sufered with my wife. The ED got worse very rapidly. We put it down to stress.
Searching online turned up the usual advice about stress and anxiety.Arter a couple of weeks of ED (but still forcing PMO in the delusion it might help) I was ready to go to the doctor.
Then, on 14th Feb 2013, I stumbled upon the concept of PIED and this site and YBOP. OH MY GOD! Why doesn’t everyone know about this?! Why isn’t it mentioned on wikipedia or government health service websites! I stopped looking at porn on that day, and deleted all my porn stashes from all my devices. After about 2 days i went into an absolute flatline. A shrivelled, pale, dead dick that didn’t want to do anything for anyone. It is as unnerving as everyone says – but i had the reassurance of this community that it is normal.
I guess i’m exremely extremely lucky that morning woods appeared regularly after 2 weeks. I suddenly realised that I hadn’t had regular morning wood for many years. I’d forgotten it was normal to have regular morning wood. Other than mornig wood it was still a dead dick.
After about 3 weeks, rightly or wrongly, I grabbed a morning wood and did M resulting in a somewhat watery O. That seemed to completely end (that) flatline. I had sex with my wife (who was delighted that I must be ‘less stressed’ and we returned to a much more regular sex life than before, with much better erections than previous years.
Then at the end of April I suddenly had another two week flatline. My wife pulled me out of it in bed one Sunday morning and I’ve been full of vigour since.
- I’m not proud of not telling my wife. If my flatlines had lasted longer I’d like to think I’d have told her.
- I think I’ve ben extremely lucky the have had such rapid improvements. Maybe this relates to being an older guy who had girlfriends before he had too much porn.
- My morning woods, spontaneous erections and erections with my wife are stronger than I can remember having for years or even decades.
- Betwen my flatlines I did PMO once. I subsequently felt disappointed with myself.
- I have done MO about once a week – except during the flatlines.
- I am sorry I have not contributed to these forums before. They have changed my life and I am extraordinarily grateful to all that I have read here.
- I am genuinely annoyed that this problem (and its simple, if difficult, solution) is not known about more widely. I’ve submitted comments to the UK national health service advice website to see if they can consider adding PIED as a possible cause of ED on there advice pages. I’ll maybe have a go at wikipedia.
Finally, I have not told another living person about this litle journey. I’ve found the act of typing this to be quite a release. So, basically, I love you guys.