I had complete copulatory impotence for 8 years. No wood at all for real women, no matter how gorgeous. I could sport maybe a 20%er. No morning wood, ever. Was down to fapping semi-erect to some of the most degrading fetish porn imaginable, because normal genres couldn’t get me up anymore.
Viagra had stopped working, because it treats the wrong sex organ (the brain is what’s on the fritz, not the penis, with PIED). Orgasms, when I could produce them, were not very pleasurable, and lasted maybe 2-3 seconds. Often I could not even tell if a dick was there, I could barely feel it thanks to death grip fapping technique. Sometimes I’d throw cold water on it to get a sensation, it was that lifeless.
Well, this is day 116 overall since starting nofap/pornfree on August 24th, but the current streak is 40 days with no PMO. I’ve had solid morning wood for the last two weeks now, and last night, I had PIV for the first time in 8 years. I didn’t have to click until I found the right scene to get hard, or thrash it about furiously to get hard. Just simple touching (not my penis, just arms around me) and kissing was enough. It popped up and stayed up. No fantasies involved; just the touching and kissing were enough for me to get a 100% erection. It was magnificent, and larger than I had seen in for about a decade.
And that’s when it hit me. Before porn, I would get hard and stay hard from kissing alone. I wouldn’t need any kind of fantasy, either. There really is no secret to this; your dick knows what to do. It’s your brain that’s getting in the way. PMO weakens the transmitter (the brain) so much from overstimulation that the receiver (your penis) can’t get the message. That’s right, your fantasies themselves might just be getting in the way of your erection.
One thing I did do, that many of you may also need to do, is rewire if you’ve not been associating your orgasm with PIV. If you’ve been looking at genres of porn where you are no longer the active male participant in PIV cuckold, femdom, bondage, humilation, sissy/chastity, CEI/JOI, etc (and this goes for gay men who also disassociate), you need to stop thinking about that entirely. If you’ve been fapping and O’ing and fantasizing about yourself on the sidelines, how can you expect to perform when you get put in the game?
I don’t think you can. So I began rewiring myself (no active partner until last night) by thinking about realistic scenarios with real women I know. And I only thought of PIV with them, nothing kinky. At first, it didn’t do much. Then, after I started getting regular morning wood, I would lay on my side and thrust my hips a bit, mimicking the act of PIV, but without the stimulation on the penis. I had finally remembered what sex was like after a very long absence from it.
Now, doing that may be difficult for some, because of the temptation to relapse. And if your porn and fantasy still revolved around you as the active male participant in the PIV, you probably don’t need this to help with PIED. But for me, as I hadn’t fapped to myself being the active participant in the better part of a decade due to escalating genres, I found it extremely helpful. And it actually worked, last night, with a real woman, real sex, with me as the star of the show.
Nofap, pornfree, and YBOP have changed my life, for the better. Yes, even one of the worst cases like me can be cured. Not out of the woods yet; I was unable to go round two last night. Probably still need some more months to fully recover. But I know this works, because the last time I was with the girl, no wood at all, even with kissing and touching, until we did some dirty talk and fapped it into position. This is progress. I will keep you posted.
LINK TO POST – 40 day PIED report
I finally got one of those “random boners” during the day. Hasn’t happened in forever. 44 year old PIED victim of 8 years, checking in. Wasn’t thinking about sex, wasn’t even fantasizing (was doing accounting of all things) and the soldier just started standing at attention for no damn reason. Must say this is the best sign of progress yet.
I started noFap for PIED almost 10 months ago. Took awhile to get a streak going, hit 90 days in February and was having regular PIV with my now ex-girlfriend. It’s been two months since we broke up, and I did cave to porn, 9 days ago, but I’m still here because I never want to go back to what I was. I watched porn about 2 hours, kinda of checking out what I missed, and nothing I looked at was remotely stimulating compared to a real woman. It took me MUCH longer to finish compared to PIV or sensation-only MO. I guess I’m pretty much rewired but I don’t want to take chances, hence the badge reset, and the stay on board.
This is just a follow up to tell you all that yes, it does keep getting better, as long as you stay away from porn, and that a few relapses are learning opportunities, not complete setbacks.