TL;DR below, but this is worth reading.
I have relapsed many times before. I have started nofap over and over again. But I finally made it this far, 40 days, and I’m going to stay on nofap for awhile, at least 3 months. So what changed for me this time that I was able to stay with nofap?
Well, I am going thru a lot in my life right now. Trying to find work and income is so important right now that it occupies my mind almost constantly. In the past, I would use fapping to provide temporary instant relief, but I fapped so much that I got erectile dysfunction. I couldn’t get a hard-on to save my life. That scared the fuck out of me, LITERALLY!
So, now I had an additional incentive to stop fapping. With the stakes so high, I knew I had to stop. So I focused on more important things, and focused my mind on a higher level. A level where I keep my long term goals and rewards in mind, and not focus on the temporary relief and satisfaction of fapping.
Albert Einstein said: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” We must think on a level above the problem or else we stay in the same mentality of the problem, and we are doomed to fail.
If we stay on the same level as “fapping is pleasure and satisfaction and relief, but I should try to stop it”, then we are still doomed to failure. This level of thinking is not good enough. But if we take our entire mentality to a higher level, then we do not even consider fapping to be an option.
Here is an example:
If a rich person offered you 1 million dollars if you could stop fapping for 6 months, could you do it? Of course, you could stop it for a million dollars.
How about another example:
If a psychopath told you: “If you don’t stop masturbating for 6 months, I will kill everyone in your family.” Could you stop fapping then?
I would hope so, for the sake of your family.
So what does that mean? It means there is no REAL reason that you can’t stop fapping.
You don’t need a million dollar reward to stop fapping. You don’t need to have the threat that your family will die if you keep on masturbating. The real tangible and intangible rewards are worth more than a million dollars to you.
SO STOP BULLSHITTING YOURSELF!
Stop playing in the mentality that you are weak. You are not. If the stakes are high enough, you can and will stop masturbating. Raise your mentality to this level of thinking. It’s time to get tough on yourself. The stakes are too high.
Maybe you need to bring out and listen to the tough coach (or drill instructor) in your mind and let him guide and train you. If you don’t have a tough inner coach, then create one in your mind. This inner coach doesn’t let you make excuses. He won’t let you be weak. He is always there with you and won’t stop hassling you until you succeed in achieving new behaviors and habits. He is your tough love.
If you are struggling with nofap, you are just not feeling and realizing that the rewards are important enough for you to stop fapping. Consider and understand that the long term rewards of nofap are more important than the immediate temporary relief that fapping gives you.
The solution to the problem of fapping is that you are trying to solve it on the level at which the problem was created. This is doomed to fail. You must take your thinking to a higher level and see the long term horizon, where you see yourself as a new person that is in control and now has all the benefits of being a sexually healthy, confident person.
If you engage in this higher-level thinking for long enough, it actually changes your behavior, and that changes your habits, and then that changes you as a person, from the way you are now, to the better person you want to become. This is how ALL permanent, long-lasting change occurs.
My erectile dysfunction went away after 30 days. I have had sex twice in the last 10 days and I was so proud of my boner that I had to laugh at myself.
TL;DR – Nofap works. The benefits are well worth it. But you must make the stakes high enough for you to succeed.
You must replace your current mentality with a higher mentality that supersedes and overcomes the temptation of instant gratification by replacing your low, animalistic urges with higher thoughts of long term goals and rewards. and keep that in your mind over the long term.