Unlike the exultation that so many others feel upon reaching 90 days, my mood is definitely muted. Some background: I’m 54, so way on the upper end of the age range here; I started fapping around age 12, when Playboy and Penthouse didn’t even show pubic hair; early on I learned how to find Internet porn and was a one-to-two-times a day fapper since then; I’ve been married twice; I haven’t been in a relationship in over two years.
What prompted my embarking on the NoFap journey was ED. I’ve been suffering from it on and off for several years. For the longest time I thought it was performance issues and emotional baggage from bad relationships, but when I found this site, I figured it might be porn-related. The only way to find out was to try, so off I went.
I never really had any difficulties with the challenge. A lot of that is due probably to age-related testosterone levels. I slipped into a flatline almost immediately and have been in it ever since. I didn’t feel any urge to look at porn, had no trouble avoiding trigger images, and have stayed flaccid for the entire time (which totally sucks). I am heartened by the many posts on here about other participants experiences with extended flatlines, so I am not overly concerned. I maintain the hope that one morning I’ll wake up and be straining at the seams.
Beyond the flatline, this has been a really positive experience. I embraced many of the additional tools other participants have recommended, such as meditation (for about 40 days in the middle) and cold showers (which I know enjoy more than hot showers), and regular visits to this site for motivation. In the early days, I really did feel a charge of extended energy that allowed me to focus much better on things I wanted to do. I can’t say whether that extra charge has worn off or I am just now used to it. I’ve noticed a little less social anxiety (I’m very shy with women.), but nothing has come of it. In the past week or so, I’ve felt the urge to make something come of it, but I don’t know how to follow through.
I’m not sure what happens now that I’ve hit 90 days. I don’t have the urge to fap or look at porn, but at the same time, I feel at odds with having this be an open-ended experience.
Thanks for reading and best of luck to all of you
LINK – And so 90 days…