One of my main triggers after giving up porn has been these damn fantasies, some of them would last just a few seconds, but others when my brain is “idle”, like when trying to fall asleep, and often involved long detailed fantasies.
It would rarely lead to full blown Fapping, (more like a fondling, or what I would refer to as mind-masturbation.
I’m on day 62 of my reboot and surprisingly the fantasies are now fading away, and I’m guessing it’s the neuropathways in my brain restructuring, and not crying out for that little squirt of Dopamine.
In a way it is like letting go of “an old friend”, one that I could visit with people all around me, and no-one ever had a clue. In my early stages of reboot I would still go to that all familiar “happy place”, even though I knew better, but because I had been fantasizing for 10+ years it was a hard place to give up visiting.
So there is a bit of a melancholy here, but I now am noticing that because they are fading that my brain is (finally) healing.
I just wanted to share this amazing breakthrough I’m experiencing! If anyone else has the same problems with fantasies, it may take awhile, but they will fade away and die as long as you don’t continue “feeding” them!
INITIAL POST – My Journal, and Road to Recovery
First off I want to say how grateful I am to the designers, MOD’s and anyone else who participated in the creation of this website! Kudo’s to all of you!
I am a 59 y/o male who is sick and tired of living this secret life of shame, and damaging my own life and others around me. (especially my wife). It’s been a weird trip through the years (no not THAT kind of trip ) and I have tried to stop looking at porn, but doing it on my own without any resources made it [email protected] near impossible, so I always picked it back up again. Not only am I trying to save my marriage, but I’m just tired of living a double life of secrecy and lies, and it needs to stop.
I am registered on other porn addiction related websites and actively participating, but they lack the mechanics of the brain chemistry, and what is really going on in this twisted messed-up mind of mine. Thankfully YBOP and this site answers those questions and gives me something I can sink my teeth into. Also reading posts from other members here gives me some assurance that I am not alone with this addiction, and that there IS hope to kick it for good.
Thanks to anyone who has read all of this and comments are certainly welcome.
Sorry this first posting is so long, and a bit scattered,