Hello, I am a long time reader first time poster.
I discovered this sub randomly a few months ago. I guess I should tell you guys my story. Started looking at porn when I was 12, didn’t start masturbating until I was 14, for some reason it didn’t click until then. In highschool I was awkward anxious and shy. Didn’t have a girlfriend and a lot of friends. I was pretty miserable, I didn’t realize that PMO had anything to do with it.
Flash forward to my freshman year of college. I lived in the dorms, I had a roommate and a communal bathroom so I didn’t have any privacy to PMO. My life was going really good at that time. I had a lot of friends and I even had a girlfriend. Things were great. At the start of the spring semester that year my roommate moved out and with the extra privacy I started to PMO again. I started to be shy and awkward again. My grades and my social life suffered.
I moved home after that year and did nothing with my life. I would PMO 2-3 times a day and play video games. I decided to join the Army. During basic training I wasn’t able to PMO. My confidence started growing and I was feeling like a new person. However as soon as I got to my first duty station the first thing I did was buy a laptop and PMO. I started back with PMOing 2-3 times a day. Whenever I tried to have sex with a girl I had a hard time staying hard. I always blamed it on booze and having to wear a condom. I actually convinced my self that looking at porn was good because it would help my “endurance”. I eventually got a girlfriend that was understanding and worked through it with me. Eventually I was having sex with her almost everyday and I wasn’t looking at porn because I was spending so much time with her. My confidence skyrocketed. I was doing well in my Army career and was really happy.
My contract ended in the summer of 2012 so I moved home and am currently going to college. I started to PMOing again on a 1-3 times daily basis. Despite having a lot of friends and having an awesome girlfriend in the Army, I now have no friends to hang out with or a girlfriend. I just go to school, PMO, and play video games.
I discovered this subreddit about 6 months ago and have had a few small streaks the past few months. Today I finally realized I need to quit having small streaks. I just need to end PMO completely.
It never occurred to me that the best times in my life were the times that I wasn’t PMOing. I wish I would have known this when I was younger. I now know that I shouldn’t dwell on the past anymore. I need to focus on the future.
Thank you for reading. I’m hoping to become an active poster in this sub and help improve the community.