Guys, I’m no long consecutive streak winner at nofap, never was. My best was maybe 21 days. Then relapse. 14 days. Relapse. 18. You get the idea. I never gave up. But I learned many things while trying to finally break the addiction that after a year of trying it out. I am doing a lot better now in spirit and soul. And I think girls can tell that. I’ve slept with 3 girls on the first dates. I want to first state that sex isn’t the holy grail here (I want sex= I get sex).
The sex I got was the result of two people, me and the girl, talking and connecting to each other like human beings and it growing into something meaningful to the point where the girl wanted to go through.
I actually turned down a girl also because she wasn’t worth the time.
This isn’t about treating women like sex objects even though it sounds like that. It’s about respecting them. They are sexual creatures and want love if you love yourself and you share that energy and confidence with them. They want it just like you want them. It’s mutual. But you first need to treat them like a human, not like someone holding what you want (sex) hostage. When you’re confident you aren’t afraid of rejection or not getting something because you already have the best thing ever: self control.
I assure you no girl wants muscle, brains, money (except for shallow ones) if you aren’t a confident person that loves. A lover, if you will. My brain used to be fried with porn and fapping in the military that sex wasn’t even possible because I couldn’t hold an erection or even orgasm vaginally.
Now I don’t even work out (I really should, but that’s a separate subject) with no job and I get girls like crazy. It’s already come to point where I realize all this blind pursuit is empty, need something more meaningful.
Point is: nofap works. It took me 6+ months but it works. Keep it up guys. I will not stop.
Possible TRIGGERS through my story of personal struggles with my new addiction
Hi there all. Slightly long story, but hopefully this can inspire some and also attract some serious answers for the question I have.
I’m a nofapper. I have to reset my counter though, because recently I’ve been kinda falling back in a bad habit. This actually made me realize some important things. Nofapping then fapping recently has taught me something amazing. Calling them superpowers may be a bit of a stretch, but having that nofap self-discipline definitely takes you places. Heres where it took me over the past 1 year.
I went from fap-addict (over 15 years) with practically ED, to minimizing fapping, to edging with no release, to no fap/no edging, self-control, then just sexual appetite up the ceiling with non-stop actual sex with multiple people. I’m not bragging, because until it happened, I was so unsure I’ll ever be able to ever reach that position in my life. Its not like I was a virgin but my first few times were terrible, ruined clearly by over-dapping with no sensitivity and no ejaculation. I was a geek teen when video games and indoor hobbies was NOT COOL, and not winning over girls hearts, so it was a long road to get to, this path of success. And then now I’m in the slumps, where I discovered something.
And heres the things I noticed: Having actual sex with no difficulty to orgasm is insanely good. And it only gets better. You can’t have more than one session? No problem. You’ll get back eventually, be it 15 minutes, 1 hour, or a day. But those intervals get smaller. And its not like you’re hazy and “exhausted” when you’re waiting, you’re usually just physically tired depending on how intense the sex was… and the sex drive may need some encouraging to re-start, but that’s all it is. So you can start having sex, real sex with girls over.. and over.. and over. Once you find out how horny girls can get, its not even worth fapping, they are hungry and its hard satisfying their “appetites.” You can have a great session but they want dessert, and the same banquet a lot sooner than you can recover at first. The feeling of finally “over-serving” a girl is a wonderful one, where you feel like the girl is practically got everything she possibly wanted. A great feeling.
On the other hand…. I fapped again after all that sex, just one time. Wow. Almost the first time I did it, I felt the haze move in. The lack of motivation. The feeling like my life energy just got robbed from me. A sleepiness that I cannot outrun. Almost like a migraine without a headache. Walking through a thick fog with glasses that have condensation that won’t go away. The sense of guilt, as if people “know” you just jacked off or have cum on your face and you dont want them seeing your soul… which is not exactly true… people dont know why you act so glum, but they can definitely tell your lack of energy.
Out 1 of maybe 20 faps, I only had ONE occurrence where the post-fap cloud was only “manageable” and my scumbag brain could justify that fap as “maaybbbe that fap was worth it even though you feel like shit now?”. All other times, it was terrible terrible terrible afterwards.
Now my dick wants so much attention. Its begging me for just one release. Just one porn image. Just one video. Its not like I watch anything gross, just natural sexual acts between two loving people, preferably conceiving. How bad can that be? Let those natural parts do the natural thing??!?!
Now my brain is addicted again. All over 1 fap. All that sex with girls, all that confidence build up, its slowly going away, if not already gone. Hell, I want to fap right now if I could. Im in public though.
Guys: I dont know why real sex is so good. Real sex may NOT even physically feel better than some of your personal fapping experiences where you search for the perfect video, the perfect build up, the perfect grip, with your perfect technique and pressure and friction, and release to your perfect fantasy after all that holding in, and be released of that groin pressure you intentionally built up and held onto. But real sex feels better overall, and the feel good continues afterwards. It takes you a long way. This could be just confidence talking, but I swear that every girl on the street afterwards wanted to fuck me also (slight exaggeration, but basically thats how it felt).
It also made me respect women more, ironically because I probably sounded a bit chauvinistic in the last paragraph. Back then, I looked on women as… yeah, as possible sex partners of course, but as human beings also who I’d talk to and not feel bad about talking to. Right now, I’m just a guy who wants to look at porn and release because I know it’ll feel awesome and not let me feel like shit. But I’m smarter than that now, I know that I’ll feel like shit EVEN MORE if I gave into it.
I wish I knew why fapping is so bad for us mentally, man. I don’t have that fap-guilt on any religious basis, or even religious upbringing. But I know that the more sex I had, it was like winning LIFE POINTS. Fapping is a drain, even the one time I did it and it went downhill from there.
Everyone, hang in there, use nofap for a few months…. then self-improve… use a dating site, and go look for women out there. You’ll find someone thats right for you, long term, short term, medium term. Just find someone who can love and have a connection with. Its just great. I thought after I became a “master” that my body won’t care if a release is a release but boy was I wrong….. a self-started sexual release is just a downer.
I don’t know why it is, but I urge you guys…. just dont give in. Hard mode or not…. its just not… worth it!!! If anyone knows scientifically what the difference is though, please dime in!!! Thank you!!