I’ve been on the journey to quit porn for about 9 months now. I found this site around then, and have struggled to “reboot” from PMO since about that time, joining Candeo and giving it my level best.
When I first began trying to quit P, I soon learned that I had an MO addiction, and it would inevitably draw me back to the P. Like many have already commented, the porn addiction for me had slowly usurped my life—to the point where the damage it was causing was readily apparent.
I began viewing porn about 7 years ago, and again like many have already mentioned, the content slowly escalated to more and more hardcore material. 9 months ago, I realized that I could not hold an erection during sex with an attractive girl, and I knew that I had to do something for myself. Otherwise, I would never escape the hole I had dug myself into.
Even with this resolve, it took me several months of trying, failing and trying again just to stop watching porn. What worked for me: first, I stopped watching hardcore porn, replacing it with softcore stuff – just nude pics and vids. I realized that if I tried to go cold turkey, I would just keep regressing back and binging. After weaning myself off hardcore porn, I tried to quit the softcore porn. This, too, took several attempts and no small amount of frustration. But there was always a positive trajectory, and always my dedication to a final goal: freedom and reality.
Today, I am about to hit day 30 of no PMO. This has been an incredible journey, and I have learned a great number of lessons about myself.
My recommendations to those of you struggling: I bet you have more than one addictive behavior in your life. Stop the porn first. It really is probably the most pervasive. Porn and masturbation not only rob you of your sexual energy (and concomitant social skills), but it also pushes you to be a loner. It is a very powerful negative cycle.
Do it in a loving manner for yourself. The reason I have stuck with my decision to quit porn was because I wanted to be true to myself, my friends, my family, and all the women out there who I should be with. For me, it was not about punishing myself but loving myself. This journey has been difficult, but I believe if you stick with it you learn things about yourself: your resolve, your inner motivations, and your commitment to engaging life, rather than avoiding it. Today I am at 30 days and going strong.