I was addicted to sex, pornography, and masturbation. My fiance has also been doing the nofap hardmode challenge with me, as he was addicted also, but his 90 days was about 2 weeks ago. Here’s how I’ve changed.
- I have friends
- I can easily hold a conversation
- Self-confidence has increased
- My relationship with my fiance is way beyond better than it ever was
- I now have a relationship with my siblings
- I find everyday things more enjoyable
- I have nothing to hide on my electronics, so a large source of paranoia is gone
- I’m completely happy
These changes are in no way because I stopped watching porn. All these changes, including the hardmode challenge, grew from a desire to better myself. Nofap was not the catalyst, a desire to change was. I have no superpowers from not touching myself, I have superpowers from incredibly difficult, and diligent, work to get out of the rut of depression and addiction. I think many of us forget that it isn’t stopping your addiction that gets you ‘superpowers’, but your own will to change.
Will we continue hardmode? Until we get married next March, yes. We have made the decision that it is best if we wait.
Will we continue not watching porn? Certainly.
Will we continue nofap? Until we’re married, definitely. After then? We’re not too sure.
Is it still as hard today as the first week/month? No. Eventually, I’d say around 2/2.5 months, my libido leveled out. I no longer crave porn/masturbation. I obviously still get aroused, but there’s very little desire to take that arousal anywhere.
If you have any questions, especially gender-specific, feel free to ask! I’d love to help any men understand my journey, or give advice to any ladies out there.
LINK – 90 day report-hardmode-from a female
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Before nofap, did you consider yourself a sex object? Has anything changed in that regard?
Very much so. Before nofap, my fiance (boyfriend at the time) and I were in an open relationship. I had brought it up, and he complied to the terms I wanted. All we ever did together was sexual things. (NOTE: I’m not saying an open relationship is inherently bad; only that ours was. )
After we stopped, it was almost like starting a new relationship over. We were both ‘finding ourselves’ so to speak. That’s why our relationship is better now than it ever was. We actually have a relationship built on more than sex now.
Then, I idolized porn stars, favoring those who performed threesomes/foursomes/gangbangs. I wanted to be like them to an extreme measure. Those feelings now are nearly repulsive. I’m more than content with monogamy, and being more than a man’s ‘dream girl’. (Again, not saying that having threesomes/foursomes/whatever are inherently wrong, just in my case)
My mentality is strikingly different. Not only do I no longer consider myself a sex object, I no longer consider others sex objects. Any person I saw was judged on attractiveness. I feel that I was akin to the many men who are considered ‘creepy’ by women because of how they treat them. Although I never acted out on my internal judgements and fantasies, I see no difference.
I still struggle with objectifying men. It’s no where near as prevalent, but it still sneaks up sometimes. It makes me feel horrible, but I quickly try to correct the thought/feeling and move on.