Disclaimer: Sorry for the long post but its well worth it if you truly want to help your HOCD! If you’re reading this you are either suffering or know about HOCD or any type of OCD in general.
If you don’t, HODC is like any other form of OCD when your mind is being hammered with invasive thoughts 24/7 about a certain topic. In my case and as it is for people with HODC it is the thought that you are gay/lesbian. First off, of course there is nothing wrong with being gay. Literally every time you see a guy it is a trigger. Your mind tells you “you think that guy is hot, therefore you’re gay” or various other things like that. It is hell let me tell you that much. A good example of it is if you’ve seen Lord of the Rings, the way Smeagle kind of talks to himself like he has an alter ego, it is like that. Your mind tells you that you think that guy is hot, but then you say no I don’t why are you saying that? and its just a back and forth battle where the mind always wins.
So pretty much I started getting symptoms of it at the end of my Senior year in high school I would think about it all the time every day I had the worst pain in my stomach no lie for 6 months straight! I couldn’t be with people I thought were triggers and it ruined the relationship I was currently in. You lose feeling for everything except your thoughts. I remember having conversations with people and realizing I wasn’t paying attention to a word they were saying because all I could hear was my mind telling my I thought that person was hot. Countless times I thought of just giving in and saying, “well you’re gay just give it up why are you still fighting this?”. Enough of my symptoms though I’m sure you know all about that shit if you’re reading this anyways. Also I have Tourettes syndrome and coincidentally both Tourettes and OCD are linked in many cases which explained a lot to me.
Now after almost a half year of suffering and I mean suffering I finally ended it. I never thought I could do it. I mean during the 6 months I had had times when I thought it was over only for it to come back worse than before. about 5 months into my condition I moved to a different continent for school which put me in a whole new environment but my HODC was still the same. A combination of things I think helped me get over that monster that is HOCD.
First: During October of this year I thought I had looked everywhere for help until I started doing a NoFap and also gave up porn. I lasted for 55 days with NoFap, but the porn was what really made the difference not the jerking off. I did my research and the effect on the mind porn has blew me away it does so much harm that you don’t realize (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU) . I haven’t watched porn for almost 3 months now and am feeling 50000 time better and I think that has a large part. PS the giving up of porn also helps in relieving symptoms of ED and other helps revive your sexual mindset so its a win win on all fronts. Also in my experience I resumed masturbating like I did before just without the porn so in my experience at least the masturbation had no correlation at all with HOCD.
Secondly: Work out! I have been lifting 4 times a week for the last 4 months and I think its helped in my recovery. Lifting out really helps your body to get loose and puts your mind in a different state. It helps you take your mind off the HOCD for a little but each day and gives you new goals to focus on I.E. I have a goal of benching 315 and that goal has helped to replace a bit the thoughts I used to be having about OCD. Some people may be motivated more/less than others to get to the gym but it really will help. Even once or twice a week will do. It will not only take your mind of HODC for once, but also it will improve your physical appearance and boost your confidence in the process.
Third: This one is dependent on each person but why not try it, that is going to church. You don’t even have to go to pray or do shit like that, although it helps, you can only go to enjoy the quite peaceful area. It is a great place to relax your mind and get closer to yourself or God if you’re into that. Four: This is an incredibly important thing to do. When you start getting intrusive thoughts just tell yourself, “This is only your mind making these things up there is no reason to take them seriously, you know you’re straight and thats all that matters.” It may not make a difference at first but as you start to brush off the thoughts and let them come and go you’ll feel better trust me. When you start arguing with your mind and giving too much attention to your thoughts thats when you have problems. Your OCD wants you to notice the thoughts and if you don’t you’re taking away all of its power.
Lastly: This is the most important to me and I feel like it did the most. Take Cold Shower! This is a must and has been the most responsible thing for my recovery. There are so many sources out there that praise the benefits of cold showers. I’m telling you know they work its absurd. Read this for basic info (http://www.thehackedmind.com/7-reasons-to-take-cold-showers-and-1-that-really-matters/) or this (http://wakeup-world.com/2012/04/11/ten-health-benefits-of-cold-showers/). They have changed my life. Just hop in every morning into the shower and turn the knob all the way down low. It is so hard at first but once you get used to it its nothing now the coldest of cold doesn’t faze me after 4 months of only cold water. I don’t know what it did but it did something to my mind because my HOCD started to get less and less as I started making them a part of my daily routine.
Well this is a super long post so sorry. Every case of HODC or OCD in general is unique so I can’t say with 100% certainty that these things will 100% work for everyone but at the very least they can give you hope and confidence that you can conquer your OCD. I had no hope at one point and now I feel literally so much better so give it a try. Also at this point you should be willing to try anything so why not? Peace out doe and I wish everyone who is suffering with HOCD or OCD in general the best of luck it may seem never ending but you can get rid of it Im telling you all you need to do it try and have faith in yourself. Remember that its your mind and your life, don’t let OCD control it.
LINK – How I got rid of HODC