Long story short, it was only a few months ago where I was a heavy PMO addict (late night and/or early morning addict). I felt like I was going to be “forever alone” and I would say FALSE things like “She is too good for me. She is a 10, and I am a 2”. I have journeyed a long long way since.
If you want to know more about my back-story, I highly recommend you check out one of my previous posts here: My Take On “You’ll Develop Super Powers With Women”
This is by far the happiest post I have had to write here, and I had no idea I would ever be writing something like this… at least not anytime soon. I know this is a long read, but I have no doubt that this story (and backstory in my old post) can help a lot of you!
I went on a Eurotrip on my own. One day when visiting a tourist attraction where I noticed a very beautiful lady. She looked like she too was traveling alone. I thought “Wow, I wish I could meet her. Maybe… just… MAYBE!!!” I knew right away if I didn’t at least say “hello”, then definitely nothing good will happen. What started off as an “Excuse me, could you please take a photo of me… would you like me to return the favor?” quickly turned into a conversation, and we introduced ourselves. We were both alone, so we both ended up exploring the place together. We got to know each other and quickly formed a bond. We even started taking selfies together.
We got done with the place around lunchtime. I asked her if she wanted to get a beer with me. We walked the narrow streets looking for place to eat. The drivers were crazy in this town so I stuck my arm out in front of her to keep her safe if she was about to cross. I even grabbed her hand a few times. She didn’t mind! A few more moments of those, she ended up wrapping her arm around mine and held on tightly. We walked all around town like that. Here’s a tip fellas, always remember to protect and cherish our women!
Lunch/beer was amazing. We bonded, having heart-to-heart conversations. It was wonderful. She was a complete sweetheart! We lost track of time and stayed there for a long time. After that, we took a train to another place. She shared some music with me on her mp3 player. We got off a stop as a slow song came on. I put one of the earbuds on her, and one on me. I grabbed her hand, pulled her close, and we slow-danced right there in the middle of the train station. I spun her around, she loved it. We kissed after the song ended. I don’t know how I did this successfully (from getting her to dance with me to the kiss), but I was 100% sure she was NOT going to reject me. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.
We ended up in a park, where we stayed for hours. From more dancing, laying/rolling around in the grass, and running around chasing each other. I told her how beautiful she was. She also told me she thought I was beautiful!!! We attempted find a place to go dancing, but couldn’t find any. However, there was a guy singing while playing an acoustic guitar at a square. It was good enough for us! I took her in my arms right there and we danced for so many songs. We walked to get dinner. Some hooligans were yelling at us, offering drugs and stuff… I just pulled her closer, held her tighter, and kept walking. She was amazed by that, called me a real gentleman, just unlike any guy she ever met. I loved protecting her! Honestly, on my end, I felt very safe when I was with her too.
We got dinner and we ended up starring at each other a lot. We knew that the night was coming to an end, and she had to fly out super early the next morning. She said, because of the distance, can we agree that we don’t know what can happen in the long-term? She said she wanted to be friends. I usually HATE the words “I just want to be friends”, only because I have been hurt by girls who said that, and those girls turned out to NOT be true friends at all, but I digress… as for the European lady, I totally understood the context she said it in. She’s not coming to USA anytime soon, and I don’t know when I will be in her area anytime soon. It wouldn’t be fair to make either of us wait for the other, while we are still trying to figure our own lives out. Life isn’t fair, but at least we had one of the most romantic memories ever. I will forever cherish this moment. I do know that we have a beautiful friendship going! We will keep in touch. Sure we connected on Facebook, and we also traded home addresses. I want to send her a postcard to thank her for a wonderful day. Btw, we have been talking just about every day since I got home!
So I walked her back to her place. She was flying out early the next morning, would have loved to spend at least another day with her. I put on a slow song on my phone and we shared a last dance in the square. After that, we just couldn’t let go of each other. Didn’t check, but I’m sure we were there for at least 20 minutes. We just stared into each other’s eyes. She said she loved my eyes. I love her eyes too. We kissed, hugged tightly, and stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. She assured me “It’s not goodbye, just see you later.” Maybe we can meet somewhere again in the summer!
I know the idea of an American guy and a beautiful European lady falling in love in such short time can be like a fairy tale, but for those 12 hours, we made it work. This is not one of those “European girls are easy” stories. It wasn’t like I made out with a complete stranger at a nightclub within 1 minute. We really did get to know each other, we had heart-to-hearts. I’m telling you, I’d much rather get into a lady’s heart than into her pants. I gave her mine too. Btw I have given my heart too easily to so many of the wrong ladies in the past. I have been careful since. I don’t want to fall too hard, but I swear the European lady and I have made a legit connection in those 12 hours we had.
I did this without a stupid/dirty pickup line. I did this without calling her a degrading name. For a little while, I browsed for books on how to meet women; and I never bought or read a single one. I search out “pickup artists”, many have been proven to be fake, didn’t need that bs! I was able to be myself. I am in disbelief (only cause it felt like it was a dream), but I am proof that I can be the perfect gentleman for the right lady who will appreciate it!
I have no doubt that this has been a benefit of NoFap. I started NoFap in November 2016, and in the months that followed. Yes, I have relapsed many times, I have never made it past Day 49. The 40’s have always somehow been my cursed range. Today is Day 47 of Attempt #9, but urges are low! Yes, I’m positive that it’s due to a certain amazing day I had.
There have been many noticeable benefits all the same! Most noteworthy, I have been doing a whole lot better with women. I have been making it a point to talk to them more, meet them, etc. I can also make them laugh, I never knew until now, but yes, I can be a funny guy! My mind has just been a whole lot clearer. I still don’t consider as “improving” with women, but rather unlocking the full and true potential with women that I had all along!
Literally a few months ago, if I saw the European lady, I bet I would have just thought dirty thoughts about her, and then think poorly of myself such as “why couldn’t I find someone like her?” Looking back, I cannot believe that there was a time when I said the words “I’m not good enough for her. She is a 10, and I am a 2”. No one will EVER hear me say those words again. I came a long way from that bullshit. When I told the European lady beautiful she was, she also said I was beautiful!!! My heart melted, for the longest time, I (WRONGLY) believed I would never have that effect on a lady… I am freeing my mind, every day, getting better and better. I am “developing super powers with women”! You all can too! =]
Another side note, NoFap challenge has gotten me into exercising like crazy. I have been swimming, lifting a lot. Even on the days when I “don’t have time to go to the gym”, I would do 100 pushups, even if it was in my room. I got great results with that. I caught ladies looking at me. The lady in Europe… ohhh she felt up my arms bigly!
I have already mentioned that I have relapsed multiple times, and I still have work to do. I definitely am thankful for the Panic Button. I have saved many of the motivational things it has led me to. Most notable would be this video. I would say this even played a part in motivating me in meeting women, and ultimately saying “hello” to that beautiful European lady. I’m surprised this video isn’t more viral. There is an important life lesson from here.
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
1) Believe in yourself. You are more than what you have become
2) Be yourself; it’s the easiest thing you can do. I cannot stress this enough, but it’s not about “improving” with women as much as it is about unlocking the true and full potential you had with women all along.
3) Do the work. Be confident. If you want to say “hello”, do it. The only thing worse than getting rejected is if you do nothing, which will guarantee nothing will happen.
This is going to be a long post, but if one person reads this and walks away feeling motivated to keep going with NF, then it served its purpose. For me, reading the Success Stories here played a big part in my success. I really hope this can inspire others the way those stories inspired me!
As I begin writing this, it has been exactly one year since I started NoFap. Coincidentally, my PMO-free counter has hit 100 days today!!! My pmo-free streaks are: 49, 5, 2, 8, 46, 1, 1, 3, 57, 20, 45, 7, 7, 14, 100 (and counting!!!)… I still have a long way to go (with NF, and with my life). I have relapsed multiple times in the Day 40 range, where I tend to be cursed. The chaser effect has been really horrible to me. I still have urges that come out of nowhere.
Nevertheless, I am in a great place and it’s only going to get a whole lot greater. Despite the relapses, there were AMAZING benefits along the way. Even though my work is far from over, it is time I finally write a Success Story.
Before I begin, I want to thank my amazing Accountability Partner and Big Bro from this site (you know who you are!). We have never met, but he has helped me in so many ways. There is no limit on what we talk about, and that is what really helped me keep going. I went through hell with my PMO addiction, as well as in life. He picked me up and encouraged me to keep going on this journey. I have burst into tears IMMEDIATELY after relapsing more times than I would like to remember. After I wrote to him telling him what just happened, he was there for me, and he assured me that it was going to be alright. I hope everyone on this site finds a great AP. It will help you a great deal! I love you Big Bro. Thank you for everything! Happy 88 pages of messages (and counting!!!)
My Back Story:
I won’t bore you too much with this, but it is essential to my Success Story. I PMOed since my teens and moderately throughout college. The only time I didn’t PMO was during the time I was in grad school. I eventually failed out of grad school, moved back in with my parents, gained weight, and worked minimum wage. And what the hell did I do with all my spare time? Yes, you guessed it… I let my PMO addiction really take a bad turn. While all of my friends were working their dream jobs, moving out, being active, going out on dates, getting married, having babies… I was PMO-ing. I PMOed late into the night, as well during early in the morning… how the hell did I even function at all during the day is still beyond me! Not to mention, if I was home alone and didn’t have work for the day, I PMOed then as well. I would do it multiple times in the same day, or even in the same hour.
It came to a point where my erections were next to nothing. I felt like I’ve seen every possible P out there and there were literally no more videos to arouse me anymore… and yet I still PMOed. Also my penis was quite bruised from all the frequent PMOing. It also hurt a lot, but I didn’t care. I PMOed though the pain. I suppose I did injure it (over and over again). I thought I wrecked it for life L I definitely got a severe case of PIED. My O’s were also mehhhh… I even knew my frequent PMOs were taking a really bad toll on me, but I didn’t care. I still PMOed.
I lived like this for a very long time, and then about a year ago, I ran into a TED Talk that forever changed my life. I learned about the PMO addiction problems; from erectile dysfunction, penis injuries, brain fog, being numb all the time, being depressed, being awkward with women, and worst of all, not living the life I am meant to live… yup, this was totally me! I realized I needed help and that’s how I ended up on this site. I decided on that very day a year ago that it’s time to go PMO-free. My PMO addiction was ruining my life in so many ways.
I still have no idea how, but I made it to Day 49 on my first attempt to go PMO-free. Little did I know, immediately following that first relapse, it will be exponentially that much harder to get back to where I was. The first two weeks following a relapse are the hardest. I could barely make it past 2-5 days following the first relapse. Eventually I was able to keep going, but I relapsed in the Day 40 range many more times and had the chaser effect come crashing down on me. I even once relapsed twice within the same hour. I started to think I was on the verge of going back to my old ways. And it hurt, ohhh did it really hurt!!! I remember browsing the Success Stories, feeling frustrated with myself and got very discouraged… I eventually wrote a post “On the verge of going back to my old ways…?”
Methods to Quit:
1) On my first attempt where I reached 49 days, let’s just say I kept teasing myself a lot. While I didn’t PMO, I did tend to tease myself a lot with P. I looked up old “favorite” videos. I finally snapped and relapsed, and it was the worst feeling afterwards… After experiencing the first relapse (and chaser effects), I stayed the hell away from P. I knew that if I had that “just one peak”, even without MO-ing, eventually, I was going to end up in a full relapse. A picture could even trigger me. I had no choice but to go cold turkey, which was extremely hard. I found myself shaking head-to-toe when I typed in … certain URLs I should stay away from… and ultimately deciding not to hit “enter”. I used to have a Word Doc hidden deep on my laptop with pages and pages and pages (single spaced) of “favorite” videos. I deleted all the URLs, kept the Word Doc (cause I knew I was gonna come back to it every now and then) and replaced it with a picture of Grumpy Cat with the caption “NO.”
2) FFWD a few relapses later, I realized it wasn’t enough to just stay away from P. I still teased myself with eye-candy on Instagram. Beware of the p-subs everyone! I did look at non-nudes of “favorite” p-stars as well (turned out this was a major trigger). I had to delete Instagram from my phone. First off, I WASTED too much time with it, but there were major triggers. So much eye-candy… I also decided to avoid movies with sex in them, unless they weren’t a big part of the plot. I reinstalled IG now, and I went through it with a fine-tooth comb to unfollow all p-subs. I will proceed with caution still, and I am prepared to remove it again if I feel I am looking at stuff I shouldn’t, AND if it gets too time-consuming.
3) I punished myself whenever I had urges. I started doing daily 100 pushups. I worked out like crazy. There is nothing like an amazing feeling of having a surplus of energy when you don’t waste it all on PMO…
4) I logged in here whenever urges came up. I would tell my AP everything that was going on. I would read Success Stories to remind myself what I was doing all this for. I also made it a point to try to respond to one post a day here.
5) Make a log about your improvements! Be happy about whatever improvements you accumulate along the way! Even if there are times you feeling down about everything, remember the good and use that to motivate you!
6) I have used to Panic Button many times, and I am thankful for it. I have saved many great things from it, but this video “Seconds” really stood out to me. Worth watching! I am surprised this video isn’t more viral. There is an important life lesson here which I took to the heart!
Improvements (in no particular order):
1) Most of my life, I never really was confident with women. I had a tough time getting dates and never had a gf. I didn’t think so highly of myself as a result. In fact, I hated myself. The more rejections I got, the worse I felt about myself, and the deeper and deeper I dived into PMO (using it in hopes it would relieve me of my anger and frustration). It was a bad decision. Sure my love life isn’t a smooth path, but PMO is not the answer. Not only did PMO not help me, it made me worse. I looked at women in dirty ways. I also became even more shy, nervous, and awkward around women. I also cheated myself; basically the equivalent of making myself thinking I got my fix with women. Instead of putting myself on the market, I would rather just PMO alone in my room…? Some life… A year ago, I thought so low of myself that if there was a nice lady, I thought “She is a 10 and I am a 2. Why couldn’t I get a date with someone like that?” Not to mention, I think PMO made me less good-looking too. I’ve seen many posts about how PMO will drain the energy, personality, and light from your eyes. I am convinced it’s true!
Today, I am much less shy to talk to ladies. I surprised myself over the last year. I went on a number of dates (some were pretty good). I never ever thought I would get a Date #2 with a lady, but I even got to Date #3. Woah, I even got a Date #4!!! No solid gf yet, but I know I can do it now! Sure I’ve been rejected (some still hurt tbh), but I ultimately handled them like a champ and moved on. Also I’m not really a clubbing guy, but I’ll do it on occasion. This one night I went to a club, I was rejected by one lady, but I moved on and the next thing I knew, I was being pursued by a lady like never before. In the old days when I was rejected on the dancefloor, I would feel sorry for myself for the rest of the night, and the rejection ultimately led me to PMO really angrily the instant I got home.
I got better at approaching women (still need to work on that a little bit, but it’s good enough for now). I have proven to myself multiple times that I do have what it takes to be successful with women. I even had the most amazing romantic encounter with a lady on a Eurotrip. We only had 1 day together, but it was absolutely amazing and special. I loved how I could be myself and keep it real. I didn’t even have to say any stupid, rude, or disgusting pickup lines. She liked me for exactly who I was. I still sometimes wonder if that was a dream. I have no idea I had it in me to make something like that happen. I literally thought this was only possible in romantic short-movies! You’ll be surprised what you can accomplish (with women and other things in life) once you give up PMO. Btw, if you are interested in the full story, check it out on my post “How I Went from ‘Forever Alone’ to Having an Amazing Romantic Experience in Europe”
One of the most frequent themes in Success Stories that came up was “You Will Develop Super Powers with Women”. Now, don’t take it too literally. It’s not something that will happen over-night. Also, I can tell you that it’s not so much about “getting better” with women as much as it is about unlocking the full potential you had with women all along! Instead of wasting your time with the pixels, and ruining your full and true potential with women (that you had all along!!!), go out there and do the work! Do the work of going PMO-free (for starters) then work on your confidence with women. You’ll be surprised on what you’re capable of, I guarantee that! Don’t expect that kicking PMO will automatically make women pursue you. I only tell it as it is. You will have to do the hard work. Don’t be afraid to say hello, don’t be afraid to take risks, and please do not be afraid of rejection. Just talk to them! It’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it! If you are interested in reading further on this, here is My take on “You’ll develop superpowers with women”.
I already mentioned the “Seconds” video that I found when using the Panic Button. This played a big part in me in getting better with women, and I definitely had it in mind when I approached that beautiful lady in Europe. I just knew I had to say hello when I saw her, and that is exactly what I did! Again, do the work from saying “hello!” and taking it from there. You never know where it might lead! And that’s how you can unlock your full and true potential with women!
2) So a year ago, my erections were weak, pathetic, or next to nothing. It got to a point that I would PMO with a non-existent erection, which I ended up using a death grip on. Major penis injury warning! I knew I shouldn’t have been doing it as long (and as frequent) as I have, but I didn’t care… at that time, my PMO addiction was more important than the health of my penis… I was so desensitized that LITERALLY NOTHING would turn me on anymore. I thought I literally fished out all the P on the internet. I would say my ED was 50% psychological and 50% physical. While I desensitized my brain, I wore our (I mean hurt) my penis with the 2-3 daily PMOS for years.
Here I am a year after being on NF, and all I can say is “I JUST ALWAYS KNEW I was BIGGER!!! (not to brag… okay maybe a little…? LOL!!!) But seriously, this improvement is no exaggeration!!! Even on my first attempt to go PMO-free (49 days), I already began to experience faster , harder erections within the first two weeks! They weren’t the best, but they were a helluva lot better than they were pre-NF. Here I am one year later, I am having REAL erections which I haven’t had since I was a teen. It was an amazing feeling to look down and say “Hah! It’s working again!!!” The relapses ruined whatever erection progress I made for weeks, and it absolutely killed me. I still flatline every now and then, but that’s okay. My erections are consistent like never before. I just need to continue to stay off of PMO! Guys?!! Am I right? Want a bigger penis? What better motivation than this do you need to quit PMO?!!
3) A year ago, I gained weight after failing out of grad school. I lost interest in playing my favorite sports. I lost interest in working out. I was supposed to be this athletic guy, but instead PMO was the only thing I had going for me… Throughout high school, I was very athletic and did very well in sports. In college, I was one of those “I don’t have time to work-out” type of guys (I could have made time if it weren’t for… well, I think at this point in my story, you know exactly why…) I got even less motivated in working out after failing out of grad school. I look back at old pictures of myself, I cannot even recognize myself. Did I really have that many chins…? Was I really that round-faced?
Today, I am in amazing shape for the first time since high school. Since giving up PMO, I had a surplus of energy. If urges came up, I decided I am going to do 100 pushups. I worked out like crazy. I can now do multiple sets of 3-5 pullups… HOWBOWDAH?!!! (sorry I had to lol) I couldn’t even do ONE a year ago.
4) A year ago, I was working min. wage…
I have been more motivated to find a real job now that I freed up my time from all that PMO. Sure, I got a lot of rejections, but eventually I landed a temp job. I just knew that it was awesome that I landed this badass job, but now the work really began. The rest from there was up to me. Within a few months, they decided they want to keep me. I got promoted to full-time! I absolutely love my job. THANK GOD FOR THE JOB!!!
5) I mentioned that I PMOed late into the night and early in the morning. As a result, I got horrible sleep. How I functioned at all is still beyond me… No one understood how I went to bed (not sleep) early, woke up late and still managed to look like a friggin zombie…
I am getting real sleep these days, despite the new job that I have to wake up super early for. I am going to bed (and actually going to sleep) really early and I am doing just fine waking up at 6am.
Never Give Up!
To those new on this site, welcome to NoFap! You’re at the right place, and there are a lot of good people here!
I still cannot believe I am here writing a Success Story, even though my work is far from over (urges still come up a lot). I’m a much happier guy than I was a year ago, and I am doing greater than ever before.
I am blessed to be here 365 days later, 15 relapses later, 100 PMO-free days (and counting), 88 pages of messaging with my AP… I am a big believer in not looking back, but I do feel that the PMO-addict who I was a year ago will always be a part of me. I also hope that by sharing the good AND the bad, I can reach out to anyone who is currently going through the bad. I do feel the need to bridge the pre-NoFap days in my story. To anyone who is struggling and doubting themselves, anyone who just relapsed and feels bad about it, DO NOT doubt yourself for one minute (even immediately after a relapse). Remember this, I WAS JUST LIKE YOU! I came this far, and so can you!