TL;DR: I wasn’t awesome. Now I am. Don’t give up on the NoFap challenge! The benefits are real! At a pretty early age I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.
Greetings, Fapstronauts! I am feeling super excited today, because today, after years of struggling with this, I have finally reached 30 days! After 2 years, I have only just now written my 30 day report! That’s how difficult this was, but also worthwhile!
I’ll tell how it all started, and then I’ll give you some advice. (If you don’t like reading, it’s okay to just read the advice part. I won’t tell.): )
2) Get Healthy and Work Out!
3) Join the /r/NoFapWar !
4) Remember, the benefits come from the journey, not NoFap itself!
5) Never ever ever ever ever give up!
At the time of my diagnosis, I really didn’t have a clue as to what was going on, or why I needed to visit a psychiatrist once a month. I couldn’t understand what Asperger’s was.
Asperger’s is part of the Autism spectrum, and basically the major issue that it causes is a lack of understanding of social interactions between people. With Asperger’s, I just couldn’t “see” all that stuff that other people were doing. I didn’t know you were supposed to look people in the eye. I didn’t know you were supposed to say “hi”, or a different word, “hello”, to people in greeting. That’s what Asperger’s does. It’s like everyone else knew the rules for how to interact with people except for me. They forgot to tell me what to do. And it took a LONG time for me to get it figured out.
In middle school, I really didn’t talk to anybody. I had very few friends, and I never went on any dates. I had gotten to the point where I thought I was just incapable of talking to anyone outside my own family. I kept to myself.
Another thing that was going on during middle and high school was I was fapping a lot. Almost every day, and I managed to get porn in whenever I could. This even further took away my drive to talk to other people. In fact, I didn’t even LIKE talking to other people! It was no fun, and not fulfilling, because I didn’t need other people to be satisfied. All I needed was porn.
My social inadequacy got to such a point that my younger brother was forced to take up the mantle of “big brother”. He has always been more outgoing than me. Every girl we ever met was always crushing on him, not me. And I always had to ask him for advice on what I was supposed to be doing. He was always so confused as to why I was so “weird”. He had his own circle of friends, and even though he loved me very much, I could always tell he was slightly embarrassed to be around me whenever he was with his friends. He didn’t outright try to exclude me, but that’s what happened.
So, I wasn’t fond of my middle school years, or high school years for that matter. As time went on, I got only a little better about talking to people, but I was always very self-conscious, nervous around others, and overall unsure of myself.
In college, my brother told me about a TED talk that he had seen, The Great Porn Experiment, and that he was going to try the 90 day nofap challenge. (He had his own struggle with porn) He told me about all of the benefits it was supposed to bring!
I decided to watch it for myself. I had already had suspicions that masturbating could have been causing problems for me, on top of my Asperger’s. The video talked about how PMO numbs your drive for interaction with women. All of the addiction symptoms it describes were part of my life. The video talked about NoFap, so I decided to subscribe to this subreddit, and give it a go! And so I became a Fapstronaut, and witnessed this community grow to over 100,000 subscribers!
Cut to now, my life has gone completely in the other direction! I feel macho!
It was never the Asperger’s that was holding me back! It was PMO! (Freaking pornography did this to me!)
Talking to people has never been easier. I hardly have any difficulty in coming up with engaging or funny things to say, and social interactions are a breeze! People are even surprised to find out that I am on the Autism spectrum if I tell them. Nobody notices!
My brother has told me how awesome of a transformation he has seen me make.
Also, just recently when I was having a conversation with my brother, he told me about some girls that were talking to him, that they were telling HIM how attractive they thought I was. ME!!!
I was so shocked to find out that I could be viewed as attractive. I always thought I wasn’t!
And, here in college, I have even been able to go on a couple dates with some of the most wonderful women! (Not all at the same time)
NoFap is one of the greatest things I have ever found! You all are lucky to have this community, just as I am!
Advice for getting to 30 days:
No really, this is actually my strongest piece of advice. When I have a really bad urge to fap, if I pull my ass over to the bathroom and pee, the urge goes away! Within seconds!
I don’t exactly know why this happens. It is almost as if my mind wants me to fap so bad, that it masks the sensation of me having to pee with the sensation of having to screw the computer screen. (Whoa! That sounds painful, the way I worded that)
But it fits. You know how you get morning wood occasionally? Well what else do you have to do in the morning? You have to pee really bad. After you pee, the morning wood goes away.
When I have a boner and really, really, really, really want to look at some porn, if I pee instead, the urge almost magically disappears. I know other people have experienced this, so at least give it a shot, and pee whenever you are throbbing.
2) Get healthy and work out!
You know all the people on here that talk about eating healthy all the time, working out, and how that is a critical part of the NoFap experience. There’s a reason they are telling us that. It’s because they are right!
Now, I’m not a guy who goes to the gym every day for hours and pumps some serious iron. I don’t have huge muscles, and yet I’ve got people left and right telling me how good I look: parents, friends, and according to my brother, gorgeous women.
The important thing is to be conscious of your health. And often, it’s the little things that count the most. I don’t eat very healthy, but I also don’t eat too much, and I try to mostly eat things that I know will be sustaining rather than just tasty. Fruits and veggies are good for you!
Just do the basics. Drink lots of water. Get plenty of sleep. Go out and run for 10 minutes in the morning. Hate running with a passion? Go out and walk for 10 minutes in the morning. Do some physical activity every day. 10 minutes a day is better than nothing. At the very least, always go for better than nothing! A little bit every day. You will see improvement!
3) Join the NoFap war! /r/NoFapWar
That was my biggest breakthrough. The NoFap War is super motivational, because it only happens once every couple of months. The war is made up of two teams of Fapstronauts, Periwinkle (Blue), and Orangered (Red). Your soldiers are your brothers, and you have to fight for them, because if you relapse during the war, you are a casualty, and you can’t rejoin until many months later. The team with the least casualties at the defined end date is declared the winner!
This is my 3rd NoFap war, and having someone else to fight for has been really helpful to me.
Keep your eyes on /r/NoFapWar . The current campaign that we are engaged in ends on January 1st. After that, I hope to join you all on the battlefield for NFW V! I encourage all of you to participate, and see if it helps you reach your goals.
4) NoFap isn’t the true answer! (And yet, it is!)
This is the thing that I like to hear the least on NoFap, but that is because it is a hard truth to hear.
The purpose of NoFap is to help you overcome your addiction to porn and masturbation. It is supposed to help you stop viewing women as sex objects that always seem to be out of reach, and start viewing them as real, wonderful people.
But NoFap isn’t a magic “cure all” pill. It’s like a gateway to self-improvement. You can’t do the NoFap challenge, nothing else, and hope some magic happens. You have to do some other things to. The benefits don’t come from NoFap. The benefits come from the self-improvement that comes from NoFap.
That being said, there is still a reason that there are over 130,000 of us subscribed to this page. There is something powerful about the 90 day challenge. Without NoFap, many of us may never have been motivated to do any sort of improvement. It may have to do with hormones (pheromones, testosterone, etc.). Beats me. What is it that makes NoFap motivate us to do better?
What I can say is this: before NoFap, my life sucked. Now, it doesn’t. Coincidence?
5) Never give up!
I have been doing NoFap for 2 years! 2!!! More than 730 days! I just got to day 30 today! I have heard people who make it to day 120 on their first attempt before relapsing! Are they better than me? Doesn’t freaking matter! Because I made it to 30 days anyway! I just had to keep trying until I succeeded!
If you never give up at this, if you keep trying, you will succeed!
Stay strong, Fapstronauts!
And to my Aquamarines, and the rest of the Periwinkle Army I say: Destroy the OrangeRed Offensive! We shall rule the Universe once more!