I know, I’m only on day 3 for this current streak, but I’ve been with this community for over 2 years and…
I just came from hanging out with a cute friend, and I have four dates lined up with four beautiful women this next week.
NoFap is not the cure all, but it definitely is a catalyst for accellerated self-improvement. And one of the biggest areas of improvement for me is my anxiety in approaching women who I find super attractive. I no longer feel that if a girl shoots me down, it’s because I’m not good enough. There are a thousand and one reasons that a girl can turn me down that has nothing to do with me. Whatever it is, I don’t take it personally anymore. I finally identified and worked through my own baggage that made me feel that way. Now that I’m not carrying that around with me every time I approach a girl, I’m more likely succeed and have fun in trying to pick up a girl. Hell, I’ve even had fun in my “failures” of picking up a girl, it’s just fun to try. Porn was anesthetizing me from seeing what my baggage was.
Heather, an adorable brunette, I met at a dance club in SF a few months ago, and I was just enjoying my night, hanging out with my friends, grooving to the music, when we met, we had an immediate, easy attraction. We live in separate towns and haven’t really seen each other since then, but we’ve stayed in touch and I’m hanging out with her for Halloween. During the time in which we’ve stayed in contact, it’s definitely been touch and go at times, and there’s definitely times in which I could have freaked out, but I allowed her the space to live her life.
Joannie, another adorable brunnette is someone I met in a play a couple months ago as the casts were being switched. I only hung out with her for one night, but stayed in touch. She went home to Germany for the summer and we’re going to a film festival on Saturday. Again, it was the ability to give her space that really worked
I met Mary, a gorgeous redhead at a workshop, and when I was finished working with the teacher, and I had a moment alone with her, I just manned up and asked her out to lunch for after the workshop. She said she wasn’t available, but maybe some other time. So I asked her for her number and she gave it to me. She said it would be just as friends, right? Because she has a boyfriend. And that’s totally fine by me, because it helps me, because hanging out with beautiful women is something that I do now.
Connie was my cocktail waitress when I watched last night’s World Series Game (Go Giants!) with my friend, Henry. She is scorching hot, tiny blonde. She stopped by our table and we chatted for a bit, she offered some personal information. Now before, I would have assumed that she was just being friendly to help her tip, but fuck it, I’m not going to assume that anymore. She went went to take care of another table and I told Henry that I was going to ask her out maybe to watch Gone Girl. When she came back, I took a chance, and asked her if she had watched any movies lately, she said she just watched Gone Girl and that it was really good. No, problem, because then I ask if she’s seen Fury. No, she hasn’t.
“Look, I know you probably get hit on like a million times a day, but would you like to check out Fury on Friday?” I asked.
“Oh, I’m working all this week until Tuesday,” she said.
“What about Wednesday?”
“Yeah, that works,” she said.
So, I get her number and before I leave, I stop by to say good-bye and give her a kiss on the cheek.
The things I’ve been working on for myself have really been working.
Respecting myself, and not accepting that subpar experiences are my norm i.e., porn is a subpar experience and it’s not my norm. Respecting women. Understanding that they have their own life that has problems and issues and that even if they want to hang out with me, it might take some time to make that happen. Understanding that women really look at confidence first when looking at a man. Good looks help, but confidence is king. For a woman, a man who knows who he is, who is authentic in expressing his feelings and desires to other people and has enough self respect and confidence not to accept less in life, is like a super hot babe to men.
And if by some weird alignment in the galaxy happens and none of the dates happen, that’s okay, because I’m good with myself, and I’ll just go again. I’m not afraid of falling down, because I know how to get back up.
Don’t give up just because you haven’t made it to 90 days, or relapsed, and if you haven’t tried NoFap and your addicted, do it. Just the discipline of NoFap has helped me be who I really am, and it can help you too.
tl;dr NoFap is the lighter fluid of self improvement.
LINK – My Success Story (Long)