NICK THORPE kuongorora mazano anoratidza hutsva hwehutano hwekutsvaga inogona kukanganisa muhu hwedu, hukama hwedu - uye vana vedu.
IWO mafungiro atinofanira kuva nawo nehupenzi - kwete sevanhu vakuru, asi sevabereki?
Pakupedzisira Yakachengeteka Zuva reIndaneti 2015 zvinoratidzika semubvunzo wakanaka, kwete nekuti kutsvakurudza kunoratidza kuti vakomana vakawanda vanotsvaka mifananidzo yakajeka nezera re10, apo ivo vanonyanya kuda zvepabonde - uye hazvina kumbova nyore kuvawana.
Edza kuverenga "usina" mukati meGoogle, uye iwe unotarisa maziso ezvinyorwa zvinongova-click-mouse chete kune vana vane ruzivo rwefoni isina kuwanikwa kana tablet. Zvine basa here? Imwe inotengesa zvinonyadzisira yakasiyana zvakasiyana nemagazini anonyadzisa akapoteredza mushure mebhazikoro inotakura chikamu chakadarika here?
Hungu hungu, kana iwe uchitenda Gary Wilson. Bhuku rake idzva Ubongo Hwako paZvono - kuwedzera pamusoro pake utachiona TEDx hurukuro pamusoro penyaya-inoratidza kuti chimiro chekunyadzisa chemazuva ano chinonyanya kutengesa zvinonyadzisira chekare chinodzokorora hutano hwedu nenzira dzokuti zvizvarwa zvekare zvaisazombova nemimba.
ZVINOSIMBISA
Mudzidzisi akamira kwenguva refu weatomy uye physiology iri muScotland, Wilson haasi kunyora kubva pamaonero evabereki, asi kutsvagurudza kwake kunokatyamadza kune zvakunoreva zvikuru pamagariro edu needu evana vedu.
Akatanga kuona kukura kwedambudziko apo rake Mukadzikadzi pahukama hwehutano akafuridzirwa nevarume vanozviti vakapindwa muropa nehupombwe - asi iye anosimbisa kuti haana chekunamata kana chetsika. "Ini handisi kuyedza kutanga imwe tsika yekutya, kana kuti nditaure izvo uye zvisiri 'zvakasikwa' muvanhu zvepabonde. Kana iwe usingafunge kuti une dambudziko, saka handisi kuzoda kuita nharo newe. ”
Asi zvakaitika kwaari ndezvokuti kuwedzera kwenhamba yevarume do vane dambudziko nemhepo yakasiyana-siyana uye zvisingaverengeki zveinternet porn, mazana ezviuru zvevari vachitendeukira kumisangano yakasiyana-siyana yekubatsira kugadzirisa zviratidzo zvichibva pakuzvidya mwoyo, kuzvibata kwekusateerera uye kushaya kwekuita erectile kuburikidza nehupenyu husingaperi hwekuora mwoyo uye kuzviuraya.
ZVIMWE ZVINOKOSHA ZVINOKOSHA?
Ndiyo mifananidzo yakasiyana chaizvo kubva kune yakataurwa mu2009 ne Muongorori weCanada, avo vane maitiro ekuedzwa vaisimudzira kutarisa zvinonyadzisira vakanga vasina kuchinja maonero avo evakadzi kana ukama hwavo: 'Hapana imwe nyaya yaiva nehutano hwepabonde, "akadaro Simon Lajeunesse. "Kutaura zvazviri, zvose zvavaiita zvepabonde zvaiwanzoitika." Mhedziso yakajeka ndeyokuti zvinonyadzisira zvainge zvisingabatsiri.
Asi Wilson anotaura kuti rudzi rwezviratidzo zvaanozvinzwa harungambove rwakabatanidzwa nehutano kune tsika yavo yepabonde - zvikurukuru seLajeunesse vakanyatsokundikana kuwana kunyange umwe makumi maviri-murume munhu haana shandisa zvinonyadzisira, nokudaro uchiramba chidzidzo chero boka rekutonga rekuenzanisa.
Zviri pachena kuti boka rega roga revarume vanogona kuenzanisa kuti upenyu hwakaita sei neUN kunze kweInternet porn ndiyo nhamba dziri kukura iye zvino dzichidzikama zvachose mushure mekuona kuora kwemarectile, kukanganisa uye mararamiro asina kukodzera akabatanidzwa nekudhakwa. Wilson anotsanangura vazhinji vavo kuti varatidze kukosha kwekutsvaga kwekombiyuta yakakurumidza mu2006, izvo zvakangoerekana zvaita kuti zvikwanise kuwana mafirimu asingatenderi e hardcore porn clips - kazhinji kanoverengeka kamwechete.
DOPAMINE ANODA
"Kwakandigonesa kuramba ndichiona zvakanyanya uye zvepamusoro," anobvuma mumwe muropa. "Dzimwe nguva inova zuva rose yenyaya inotarisa munhu akakwana kuti apedzise. Hazviiti, rinogutsa. 'Unoda zvakawanda' uropi hunogara uchiti ^ nhema dzakadaro. "
Dambudziko racho, rinotsanangura Wilson, nderokuti bongo redu rakasungirirwa kusunungura "go-get-it" neurochemical dopamine kune rimwe ruzha "mate" ratinosangana naro, iro rakabatsira madzitateguru edu kuti arambe achiwedzera mazita avo.
Asi pachinotarisana nemafashamo ezuva ranhasi ekutsvaga kwepabonde, ushu hunokonzera-hunhonga hunoedza kuronga, kubudisa dopamine binge iyo inowedzera mubairo wekuzvarwa wepanyika, uyewo inogadzira kuvaka-up kweDeltaFosB.
DeltaFosB inonzi chimiro chemakemikari yakabatanidzwa nehuwandu hwemashoko anofadza anowanikwa munenge kune vose vanodhakwa, apo hupenyu chaihwo hahugoni kuhuchera zvakare. Pamusana pezvinonyadzisira, zvinonyanya kukoshesa mifananidzo zvinotarisirwa kuti zvikwirire, anodaro Wilson - achiumba tsika yepabonde inobatanidza ne "kuva oga, voyeurism, kubvongodza, kutsvaga, mazamu akawanda, kutsvaga, nguva dzose, kushamisika uye kushamisika."
KURUNGWA KWAKANYANYA
Enzanisa izvozvo nezvikamu zvechokwadi nyama-uye-neropa - kusangana, kubata, kunhuwa, pheromones, kushamwaridzana kwepfungwa, kutaurirana kwevanhu - uye zviri nyore kuona kuti kusvuta kwepabonde kunogona kuva rudzi rwusurukirwa rwegehena. Kunyanya kana, kufanana nezera revana vedu, unogona kuisa pangozi yekutengesa kubva paudiki.
Asi nhau dzakanaka kubva pane izvo Wilson akazvitumidza kuti "kukurumidza-kufamba-famba, kuedza kwakawanda pasi rose kusati kwamboitwa", ndeyokuti migumisiro ye-high-speed internet inodhaka kusvuta inodhindurwa.
Mazana ezviuru zvevarume (uye vamwe vakadzi) vari kushanyira huwandu hwenzvimbo dzekuzvibatsira dzakagadzirirwa kukurudzira kurega (kusanganisira Reboot Nation, Nofap.org uye Wilson nzvimbo yake yakakurumbira).
Wilson anotsanangura mumwe murume ari kure kare 20s uyo akanga ari anonyadzisira anonyadzisira kubva muzera ra 14: "Ndakamisa zvachose 2 mwedzi yapfuura. Izvo zvave zvakaoma zvikuru asi kusvikira zvino zvinoshamisa zvakakosha. Ndakabva ndasiya kurapa kwangu kwakasara. Kufunganya kwangu hakusipo. Kuyeuka kwangu uye kutarisa kune zvakapfuura kupfuura zvave vambove. Ndinonzwa se "guru" magnet "uye ED yangu (erectile dysfunction) yaendawo. Ndinonyanya kufunga kuti ndaiva nekuberekwa patsva, mukana wechipiri muupenyu. "
TARIRO YEFREEDOM
Izvi zvinokurudzira zvakapetwa, zvichipiwa kuti migumisiro yehutano hwepabonde inowedzera kune yakatanga iwe kutanga. Vechidiki vedu vechidiki vari pamwero wekuita dopamine uye neuroplasticity, izvo zvinoita kuti zvive nyore kwazvo - asi kuvonga uchapupu ndechokuti kunyange zvazvo zvinotora nguva refu, ubongo hwavo zvakare huchadzoka kuhutano hwakanaka, kutarisa-tarisa "nokuda kwezvipo izvo zvakashanduka kuti zvitsvake zvakadaro sekukurukurirana kwakanaka uye, zvechokwadi, varoorana chaivo. "
Ubongo Hwako paZvono, Uye inogara-yakamira website yezita rimwe chete, inovaka pamusoro pezvinyorwa zveanecdotes dzakadai neyemhando dzakawanda dzedzidzo dzezesayenzi dzinojekesa dambudziko iri idzva, uye tariro yekudzoka.
Izvo zvinotyisa, zvinokanganisa asi pakupedzisira zvinopa simba kune umwe neumwe wedu anotambura nekushandiswa kwepabonde - uye isu isu vanoda kuziva kuti tingabatsira sei vana vedu kufamba muzera re digalog.
Uropi Hwako Pamusoro Pose naGary Wilson yakabudiswa nhasi ne Commonwealth Publishing, yakatengwa £ 9.99, uye se ebook yakatengwa £ 3.48.
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