Elude iyo Coolidge Migumisiro nenzira yakakanganwa yekuita zvepabonde
Zvazvino zvinyorwa zvinokurukura (1) nei vadikani vangangoda kuziva zvakawanda nezve zviri kuitika mavari limbic ubongo, (2) sei kunyanya kukurudzira zvakanyanya yehuropi hwepakutanga mubairo wedunhu anogona kutungamira mukusanzwisisika kwekuchinja kwemamiriro uye a chido chekuwedzera kukurudzira, uye (3) kuti kuchinja kweiyo dopamine kunotungamirira sei Coolidge Effect (iyo tsika yekurasikirwa nechido kune mumwe wako mushure mekugutsa bonde.) Ini ndataura zvakare kuti pane nzira yekuita rudo iyo inobatsira kurerutsa dopamine yakanyanyisa uye kukurudzira kubatana.
Ini ndakaitika pamusoro peiyi pfungwa makumi emakore apfuura mubhuku reDaoist rudo. Mushure mekugadzirisa pfungwa kubva pane zvakaitika muupenyu ini ndakazoverenga bhuku ka karezza-uye ndakaona kuti rakatsanangura izvo ini nemurume wangu taive tichiita. Karezza ishamwari dzakanaka, nehuwandu hune rudo nekuzorodzwa, asi pasina chinangwa chechirwere. (Hungu, ichiri kuitika panguva dzisingashamisi.)
Ichi chiito chave chichishandiswa kusimbisa uye kubvumirana hukama hwemakumi emakore, huchienda nemazita akawanda kuburikidza nemakore. Izvi zvinosanganisira: Daoist kurudziro mbiri, le jazer (cortezia), amplexus reservatus, tantra (mukunyanya kusununguka kwayo), kurara kwepabonde, nezvimwe zvakadaro. Kuti toravira zvinyorwa, vose vari vaviri vanosimbisa zuva rega rega kubata kuzvibata (zvakadai seganda-kuganda-kambani, kugadzikana zvinyoronyoro, kukwaya, uye nguva nenguva zvinyoro zvepabonde) uye kukanganisa kanagasm kwemavhiki matatu. (Zvinyorwa mu Cupid Inotapiswa Museve: Kubva paTsika kuenda kuHarmony mune Zvepabonde Hukama.)
Pakutanga, kusangana zvisina kukodzera kusangana kana kuita senge ... ”WTF ?!"Asi izvi zvinogona kunge zvichikonzerwa, muchidimbu, nenyaya yekuti isu kuMadokero takanyatso nyatso kusarura kwedu kwazvino, tichitomaka bonde pasina kanagasm" paraphilia. " Sezvineiwo, karezza inogadzira vasingazivikanwe vavati vebhedha. Papa Pius XII zvakare akazvitonga. Munguva yake, maKaturike muFrance neBelgium airemekedza amplexus reservatus (karezza) senzira yepamutemo yekudzivirira kubata pamuviri, uye zvakare senzira yekuwana rwakakwana, mhando yemweya yerudo rwehukama. Pope akataura kuti zvimwe kwaive kusiri "kuroora kwechokwadi," kana, kana akaita zvichikonzera kusanzwisisika orgasm, yaive nengozi nekuda kwekugona kwayo hedonism. Dzimwe nguva haugone kukunda.
Pamusoro pezana ramakore rapfuura kana zvakadaro, vatatu vanachiremba vakanyora mabhuku anosimbisa karezza mabhenefiti. (Stockham, MD, Lloyd, MD uye Jensen, MDHeano mamwe mazwi evamwe vevarume vemazuva ano (hapana mumwe wavo ndeangu):
Pfungwa yekubvisa foreplay / orgasm nezvimwewo kufunga-kufunga. Pfungwa dzako dzinozvirwisa. “Zvichange zvichinetsa. Tichaitei pamubhedha? Ukangozviedza izvo, zvirinani kwandiri, hapana kudzokera kumashure. Kwete kuwana satiety kushandisa karezza zvinoshamisa zvechokwadi. Ehe, kuguta hakugone kusvikwa kuburikidza neyakajairwa bonde kana, asi kushomeka kwekugutsikana kunogara kuchikonzera kukonzeresa muruchiva rwekuda zvimwe…. Izvi zvakasiyana. Iko kudenga, kwekushayikwa kweshoko riri nani. Ndakagutsikana, asi handisi. Ini handinzwe pfungwa yekukurumidzira yandinowanzo kunzwa kana ndisina kugutsikana. Ndinonzwa ndakakwana neimwe nzira, murunyararo, uye kupfuura zvese, murudo…. Mudzimai wangu neni tiri kubatana zvakare.
Mudzimai wangu neni tave tichiita / tichiita izvo zvinogona kunzi karezza kwemakore akati wandei. Sezvo nguva yakafamba, takawana chinzvimbo chinotishandira, chigero chinomira, uye takagadzira maitiro anonyatso kusiira kumberi uye anoita kuti nyaya yese isanyanya "kupisa." Isu tinoshandisa jojoba mafuta ekuzora uye tinobatana tisati tarara uye mangwanani ega ega. Isu tanga tichiita izvi kwe6-7 makore, uye zvakanaka. Vaviri vaviri netariro vanowana yavo nzira yekuita rudo kazhinji pasina kumanikidza, kushushikana, kana kupera. Karezza anotishandira. Tinogara takakwirira uye tichionga nguva dzese. Negativity haigare kwenguva refu nekuti yedu yakanaka simba inogadzirwa uye inotsigirwa zuva nezuva.
Pakutanga mukadzi wangu akanditsamwira ndichibvisa mafaro ake. Saka takabvuma. Takasarudza kuve nemasagarms pazuva rekutanga remwedzi wega uye pane dzimwe nhambo dzakakosha. Iye zvino tava mumwedzi wedu wechitatu wekusvirana pasina rudo, "nekuti hatidi kuparadza chinhu chakanaka." Isu tinowanzo gara takabatikana kweawa kaviri pavhiki. Isu tinotaura zuva nezuva nezvekunaka kwatinoita isu kune mumwe nemumwe. Ndakave nemikana yekuita bonde kunze kwemuchato wedu mumakore gumi nemasere apfuura uye handizive kuti ndakaramba sei ndakatendeka. Iye zvino maitiro angu ndeekuti hapana chingambofanana nezviri kuitika mukati memuchato wedu.
Inoshamisa, Canada inotsvakurudza munguva pfupi yapfuura yakasimbisa kuti "bonde rakakura" kazhinji kwete inotarisa pamaronda. Musikana akatsvagurudza akataura zvakare kuti, "Pane humbowo hwakawanda hwekuti vanhu vazhinji vanotenda kuti chakavanzika chekuzadziswa pabonde inyanzvi, kuti iri pamusoro pehunyanzvi hwekukurudzira nemawoko." Nekudaro, chidzidzo ichi chakaratidza kuti "Unogona kuita bonde rinotyisa neasgasms uye kunyangwe neasgasms, asi iwe unogona kuita bonde rakaringana usina kanagasm."
Izvi zvingave sei? Ini ndinofungidzira kuti karezza inobereka mabhenefiti nekuti inokanganisa yakavanzika neurochemical kudonha. Orgasm, uye kunyanya kunyanya kugutsikana kwepabonde, i (inonaka) yeurochemical blast, iyo inotumira zvidhoma kwenguva yakareba sevhiki mbiri apo muviri unodzokera kuhutano. (Zvimwe mu "The Passion Cycle. ")
Zvichida avo vakambotambudzwa ne Coolidge Effect uchawana karezza inonyanya kubatsira. Kana vadikani vakaita rudo zvinyoro nyoro uye zvisingawanzo "kupedza," havawanzo kunzwa "kuguta" nemumwe wako. Ivo zvakare vanodzora izvo zvinogona ngozi yakawanda kuti aporese mushure mega-orgasmic fallout (flatness, kuwedzerwa kuora mwoyo, kushayiwa) nehuwandu huzhinji.
Vanachipangamazano vewanano dzimwe nguva vanokurudzira kuti vaviri vakatsvaga kuyananisa vatange nekurega kuita bonde zvakajairika, asi vobata zvine rudo kana kunyange vasina-tarisiro yebonde. (Zvese zvinyoro-nyoro zvinosimudza dopamine uye oxytocin pasina kukonzeresa kuzara kweshungu.) Zvichida nzira dzekubatanidza dzerudzi urwu dzinodzoreredza manzwiro akanaka nekuti edu "mating" uye "bonding" zvirongwa zvinoshanda pa zvakasiyana zvakasiyana-siyana zvinyorwa. Kana isu tikaratidza aya masaini anopokana (ekunamatira/kukwezva uye kuguta/kuvenga) kune watakaroorana naye tinogona kunzwa sekunge tiri kuwira mukati, nekubuda, kwerudo nenzira inokatyamadza. Kutaura zvazviri, tiri kuendesa zviratidzo zvakasanganiswa pamwero uri pasi pepfungwa.
Mune ramangwana posvo, ini ndichatsanangura izvo tsvagiridzo inogona kutotiratidza nezvemaurochemicals anobatanidzwa mukushuvira kutenderera, uyezve nezvekuti chiitiko ichi chinogona sei kugadzira zvisingatenderwe kufungidzira.
Kudzorera kuvhiringidzika kunogonawo kuwana tsvina iyi yekufarira.
Kukura kwesayenzi huchapupu hwehupenyu husati hwapera-orgasm cycle (zvidzidzo)
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