From the terrible young age of seven I had my first encounter with pornography. I remember sneaking down early in the morning when everyone was still sleeping, to type in exciting things in google and got to click all these different sites which excited me greatly. I discovered masturbation months after I started watching porn.
I was never able to experience anything embodied with my sexuality without porn having to do anything with it. My view of sex was set. So to speak Emi ko tun ṣe, ṣugbọn ti firanṣẹ nipasẹ awọn ipa ti onihoho.
The time I entered high school, at Age 11, I was greatly addicted. Every year withdrawal effects became worse. I wasn’t able to connect with girls of my age, humans in overall, nature and animals. I Felt the great pain of diminishing myself and self-hate. Numbing out on somewhat every feeling other than the excitement I felt when I opened my computer. My bedroom was a mine field of napkins used to clean my ejaculations. Preformed bad at school. All my energy was spent on this one thing. Everywhere every moment it was on my mind. Which girl, video, category I was going to watch when I got back home. Mo wa ninu irora nla.
At the age of 17 It all changed. I stumbled on an article about a man who quitted porn and excessive masturbation as a result of having all this great sexual experiences himself. I didn’t understand it then, but it was the beginning of my awakening, my reborn, myself development, the reclaiming of myself. Ijakadi nla julọ ti igbesi aye mi.
Mo tiraka, gbogbo awọn ikunsinu ti Mo ti parẹ fun fere gbogbo igbesi aye mi, ojo rọ si mi, daradara kii ṣe ojo kan… iji lile ti shit. Mo sunkún, mo pariwo, mo nímọ̀lára ìsoríkọ́. Ìwora ńláǹlà ló jẹ́ kí n máa jí ní alẹ́, ó sì mú kí n yípo kí n sì yí lórí ibùsùn mi. Sugbon mo ti di lori si yi agutan ti mo ti balau nkankan dara. Bi mo ṣe kuna diẹ sii ni oye ati imọ diẹ sii ti Mo gba lati inu ohun ti o mu mi pada si ifasẹyin.
Ni ọsẹ meji lẹhin ifasẹyin miiran Mo pade ọmọbirin kan ati pe a bẹrẹ lati ṣe ibaṣepọ. Aye mi blossomed ìmọ sinu ife Mo ni ibe lati yi iyanu timotimo ibasepo. N’ma nọ pọ́n yẹdide fẹnnuwiwa tọn pọ́n pọ́n gbede kavi nọ yí vivẹnu do gblehomẹ sọn whenẹnu gbọ́n. I struggled with my personality and being myself and the remains of anxiously that I had gained from pornography to be in highly social environments, like school.
Ó ti lé ní ọdún méjì báyìí since I desperately told myself that this would be the last time, this is the time I would beat my addiction and claim the life I had the right to and was supposed to be having! I went to discover another culture as an exchange student for one year. I have reclaimed and found myself a sensitive, joyful and an aware man. Talked to amazing people who listened to my story and mentored me, learned myself to play a variety of instruments, became physically healthy, gave blankets to homeless people with money I gathered from friends and family, got to explore myself and continue till this day to fi ise ati ebun mi fun aye.
ỌNA ASOPỌ - Offer of my help to you and my story after 700 Days
By vinywiny
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